Like you, I try to force myself to go out of my way to talk to people. I was anti-social in high school, and stuck to a very small group of close friends. I grew into my own during college, partly as a result of losing my (baseless) smug asshole sense of superiority, and partly as a result of being surrounded by intelligent people who liked to have a good time. It's a good habit to force yourself to meet and actually have a conversation with new people. I believe most people aren't very interesting to people that don't know them well. It's easy to be loose and funny with friends you've known for years. Engaging a total stranger and having a decent conversation takes a little bit of practice. So if you feel you are introverted and don't necessarily like it, go talk to someone. Except Durbanite, spare everyone else because your shit is depressing.
I don't think either introvert or extrovert is a good description of me really. It's probably an asperger's thing - but I'm very social when I'm interested and in a good mood - but completely anti-social when people are boring, or when I'm in a bad mood and actually care about the opinion of the person I'm talking too. In a bad mood - I'm kind of a dick. I've been in a shit mood for the last 3 or 4 weeks relating to work stress. I've been making a lot of effort to not bite people's head off and have them hate me forever. It's kind of working out - but there's a few people (who were fucking wrong and deserved it) who are currently pretty pissed at me. Unfortunately, I'm generally not very interested in talking to people about how totally drunk they got at a shit bar, while listening to shit music. Or about their kids latest stupid trick (oh he's mastered Soccer? You must be so proud. When does he start preschool again? Yeah, I'm sure he's an awesome athlete). Mostly unless someone is attractive, perverted, into indie electronica/hip hop or a geek of some kind - there's not a huge likelihood that they're going to say something interesting in a conversation so I tend to not be all that enthusiastic about engaging with them. At fetish events, I'm a very social animal - and that's 90% of my social activity. Hanging out with the guys I work with or other geeks? Very social. Hanging out with a well educated crowd of music obsessives who share genre interests - I can chat about music, drugs, venues, events, and good times for fucking ages. Boring people? Meh. I drink quietly, laugh in the polite places and wait until I can politely leave - while trying not to have an aspergers moment and be wildly socially inappropriate. The aspergers thing means that non verbal cues are a lot of work for me to follow. I'm a lot better at it than I was say 5 years ago - but I still have to really pay attention to notice that stuff. I do best in sexual situations - I have an idiot savant thing going around sexuality, but even then - it's mostly because I spend (and have spent) so much time thinking about it and paying attention to it. I still occasionally fuck up a play when someone's really into me - because I lose focus and miss my cues and act like a social retard. But thankfully - it's pretty rare.
Wow, this describes myself very closely. Not sure what that says about me, considering I don't have Asperger's. I enjoy human interaction and getting to know people a lot, but I also like my own company and thoughts. Thus, I go through periods where I am extremely extroverted, the life of the party, and constantly talking and engaging to people, and other periods where I don't say a word and keep to myself. The thing is, I enjoy both; it just depends upon my mood at the time. If I go out with someone to a club, I always have a fun time. If I decline, I will have a good time sitting at home, reading a book. My social skills are mixed; very strong in certain areas, very weak in others. One thing I find is that how much I talk is inversely correlated with how interesting the other person is. That is, with someone I consider a little boring, I will dominate the conversation. With someone that I consider interesting, I will shut up and let them do the majority of the talking, since I want to hear their words.
I am an extrovert no matter the situtation, size or crowd. I am not above standing on our table at the bar and screaming at my friend for making out with a wildebeest. I can talk to a crowd of any size because I loved public speaking as a kid so conversations come naturally for me (as long as they don't bore me. Boredom=Bye Bye) and speaking in front of a large crowd or audience does not even make my palms sweat. It is impossible to embarrass me, because I take things with a grain of salt and I can swollow my pride. I was taught since birth that the cooler head prevails.
I used to hate small talk, and it showed. When I started having to socialize for work, I realized it was a useful skill and one that I should have some proficiency in, and now I can comfortably start and keep a conversation moving if required. I actually still hate small talk, but you'd never know it unless I get drunk. Mostly I resent it because I can happily talk about any number of things, and even if I'm not personally knowledgeable about a subject, I can usually find something interesting in whatever my conversational partner is passionate about. Case in point - talking to a random girl about her love of horses, we ended up discussing whether horses represented freedom to young girls in a similar way that cars do for many guys. That to me is a far better use of time than 'man, how's about that weather/what are you doing on the weekend/what that bitch at work did'. And when I'm drunk, I sometimes slip and ask people not to squander the coin of my youth on their trivial bullshit, but we can't all be perfect. Now, I'm reasonably geeky, and left to my own devices will generally tend towards geeky topics. Most of my close friends are geeks, my housemates are geeks, etc. I like geeks, and feel most comfortable with them. However... one of my good friends owns a Gaming Cafe (net cafe but strictly gaming oriented). The hardcore geeks that go there are just... terrible people. I finally understand the stigma associated with gamers. These overgrown manboys, usually in the age range of 22-28, have exactly one topic of conversation, and that is their recent activity in their game of choice, regardless of whether you play the game or even know the person by name. They will quite literally walk up to random people and regale them with tales of e-valour, impervious to any and all social cues that the other person would rather perform a double Van Gogh than be subjected to their ramblings a moment longer. It is unfathomable to me that these people can have so little social nous. On the rare occasions they venture outside the topic of gaming, stories of their weekends are invariably filled with like, totally sculling half a bottle of bourbon, dude, and then this hot chick, I mean she was smoking, just came up and started grinding on me, so I took her home, and then fucked her and told her to get out bro, so I could go on a raid, and then, like, I totally killed the boss even though I'm a healer and it was just fucking madsick, bro. Argggh. For a long time I thought geeks and nerds had an undeservedly bad reputation. Now I understand why normies hate us so.
Although I love performing, I'm a loner in my hardwiring. I'm a bit more adjusted now than I was as a hopelessly awkward adolescent - I have all the good friends I really need, I can hold my own at parties, and I can rap with strangers without creeping them out or annoying them - but I'm still much better at stand-up comedy than small talk.
There are maybe 8 people I know who I genuinely like and seek out contact with. I really value these people and wish I had more such relationships. When dealing with strangers I get by on asking enthusiastic, open ended questions and polite nodding. My experience is all waiting and sales, so I've had plenty of practice, and can do fine. That said, I actively resent having a stranger initiate a conversation with me. I find that I would love a lot of the (perfectly nice) people I know to just fuck off. I don't think this is fair or a useful way to be and I wish it were otherwise. Outside my ~8, the most productive way I can socialize is to play a game or do a job or work towards some common goal. That's my idea of "good" socializing.