Friday Not At All Serious Thread: Hat's All Folks!

Here, all the men dress either like Scooby Doo characters (thanks to Korean men, I know what an ascot is), the Great Gatsby or preppy douche canoes (think a college student wearing a suit on a Friday night for NO reason other than scheme some poor skank). I can live with fedoras or skinny ties, because they are reserved for people with jobs. Some twatwaffle assistant comes to my school dressed in a 3 piece suit, tortoise-shell glasses that make his face look like a cluster of puckered assholes and some pointless variant of a pashmina/scarf/ascot that he stole from his mother. Everyone else wears Goddamned jeans and tennis shoes.

I consider most male fashion a remarkable waste of time and a great way to explore cock-suckery, because it inevitably leads to something you regret.

For example:

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Rule of thumb: If you wear clothes that make a statement about your personality, that statement is I am a shallow retard.

Also, fuck these guys:

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I'll be glad when that shit becomes embarrassing, so I can call them "scrotie-lobes".

 

Relevant:

 

But these always had the best sash pockets to stash and hide your weed in!

Are these things really still a thing?

Related... I hate when women do this:



(Which, sorry... doesn't actually have ANYTHING to do with hats. I seem to be lost today.)

 

Focus says discuss fashion choices you don't understand, not just hats, so you're good.

 

Personally, i love hats and look forward to this time of year (fall, not Halloween so save it) so I can don an Irish cap, an ivy driving cap or my Basque beret. And I've gotten tons of compliments on each of them, especially the beret. It's just not something you see worn very often in the US, especially Texas. I must have at least 2 dozen baseball caps, but I don't wear them much anymore unless I'm going to a game. And a military jungle hat is great for doing yard work.

What I can't understand is the hipsters wearing a knit wool cap when it's 100 degrees outside, black socks with sandals, and on the opposite end of skinny jeans, jeans with 20+ inch leg openings.

Another thing I've noticed around campus is women with tattoos on the front of their thighs. Just seems an odd placement site.

 

I hated hats. They never feel right on me and I do not think I look very good in them. Then two years ago, in a moment of clarity, I decided to get a couple of spots on my skin checked by a dermatologist. He said they were precancer and could be burned off, but upon further inspection he found some cancerous spots on my face and the top of my head. They have all been taken care of, but he told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to be wearing a hat anytime I am in the sun.

Now I wear a fedora whenever I am at work. I still do not think I look very nice in it, but others have commented that it is nice to see someone dressed up.

Yeah, I am one of those old bald geezers you like to make fun of for always wearing a hat, even on the cloudy day.

 

I've yet to try one on, but I'd like to see how I look in a traditional Homburg.




Here is a good starting point if you're curious what style of hat might look best on you.
<a class="postlink" href="http://artofmanliness.com/2008/05/28/the-perfect-hat-for-your-ugly-mug/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://artofmanliness.com/2008/05/28/th ... -ugly-mug/</a>



Alt Focus: Jeans and sandals. It's like you starting getting dressed and either got lazy at the end or thought you might be hitting the beach in your jeans so best to slip some sandals on just in case.

 

I wear a baseball cap when the barber fucks my hair up. Other than that, I don't willingly wear a hat. It's irritating, and I don't think it looks good on me.

 

To me hats are like my Carhartt overalls and work gloves, they're something I wear when I'm working. A baseball cap on a sunny summer day, and a white straw cowboy hat on non-windy days. They keep the sun off my face, and I don't look half bad in my cowboy hat. Come early October or so I generally put both hats up til warm weather again so I can wear a hood or a balaclava instead.

That said, it depends on what sort of place I'm in as to whether or not I'm going to take my hat off. If I'm running into Wal-Mart or a gas station, I'm just going to leave it on so I'm not carrying around a big fucking hat while I'm trying to fish out my wallet or pick out groceries. If I'm stopping by a friends house, or eating at a restaurant I'll take my hat off and hang it up or set it out of the way somewhere.

Focus: People who walk around wearing sunglasses inside; fine if you're blind, but if you're not feeling your way around with a striped cane how the fuck do you expect to see anything?

 

Dicks with a visor on backwards in a bar at night.

 

I regret nothing.




Damned fun hockey game to. GO OILERS GO

 

I thought this was the hat thread. Blood alcohol level is far to low.

Hell when it comes to hats, I have like 2 ball caps, 1 fedora, 6 or 7 different types of cowboy hats, bandannas and a hockey helmet. Do I qualify?

 

PROTIP: Stop shopping for dress shirts at Hot Topic (even though it is where you buy all your other clothes).

Hats are rad and I hope they make a comeback someday. I have an Indiana Jones fedora I never get to wear.

 

I probably have 20 to 30 baseball hats and a cowboy hat for yardwork. I wear them a lot because the sun hurts my eyes a lot more than the average person, so hats have never bothered me much. There are some hat-things that are taboo:

Unless you are playing tennis or doing taxes, tennis visors look silly. They can look hot on women, but when guys wear THEM backwards? Goddamn that irritates me.

Flat brims, store stickers, and especially PULLING YOUR FUCKING BASEBALL HAT OVER YOUR EARS is for ding-dongs.

Your viking helmet should have horns shined with a gleaming bleach finish when on your weekly pillaging and/or rape road trips. Otherwise Volsstag will laugh at you again and the two of you will be fighting in the fjords of Bjornsen in no time.

 

Man, I will never understand why white people get so mad when somebody doesn't bend the bill of their cap. It's crazy that people are so judgmental about wearing the hat the way it comes.

 

The unbent brim thing doesn't bother me as much as leaving the stickers on the hat. Not bending the brim just makes the wearer look like a mouth-breathing mongoloid, but that's their choice.

Why stop there with the hologram stickers though? I say leave the tags on ALL articles of clothing you buy. LEave the big pantsize sticker running down the leg of your jeans, and the brown stuffing paper hanging out of your shoes. Keep the plastic mould inside your shirt collar, and the price tag on your sunglasses dangling uncomftorably in front of your face. What could be more hip-hop that that?

 

Can we talk about gypsy chic? See: Johnny Depp, Russell Brand, Steven Tyler.

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They look like they're about to go on tour with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. Somehow with less soap. You know it cost them $1000 to look like that.

I don't understand the fad. It is not popular in Florida's peehole, amazingly, save for elderly women. Did they go into a store and ask for all the poofy shirts Prince didn't buy in 1984? Prince can get away with it. He's Prince. We know he's cuckoo.

 

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It's like Johnny Depp looked in the mirror and said, "I need MORE layers!" And when he ran out of body parts to hang things on, he resorted to carrying an extra piece of clothing in case his other three shirts/jackets failed to do their job.

 

Granted I don't go clubbing often, and the bars I frequent tend to cater to the "30 years old and up crowd", but I've never seen that. Does anybody actually wear visors now? I've only seen them on my grandmother and her mother and even that was ten years ago.

I assume of course, you're not talking about wearing baseball caps backwards; which unless you're wearing a welding mask or otherwise have a need to turn it around, looks equally stupid. See image below.