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Fuck it, the Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nettdata, Jun 23, 2011.

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  1. AlmostGaunt

    AlmostGaunt
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    Sorry this is going to ne incoherent. rigjt now I'm out with 2 friends, one trying to hook me up with the other. Single chick showed interest, but has told me the following: all her previous boyfriends have either abused her or refuse to fuck her. Never having abused someone before, what is my best move to appeal to this woman?
     
  2. Juice

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    Clearly it's to slap her around a bit to you know, show her who's boss. Then when she presents you with her vulnerable, naked body, you should pretend to shiver and scowl in disgust all while pretending to gag.

    What a bizarre way to phrase an advice question...
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Is that what qualifies as an icebreaker nowadays? Insecurity bombs away! I dunno, tell her she looks fat then go from there I guess. OR, or.....you DON'T act like a complete ding-dong and give her a break from hell FUCK I hate questions like these.

    Sorry, I'm pissed off I have to DJ a wedding for 200 Dutch hicks that have open bar, it's an outdoor wedding and it's raining outside right now. Did I mention a vast majority of them are e-tards? Summer baby, bummer. Nobody has tried to sneak out on the bill on me in 9 years but I have a sneak-y suspiscion they're going to try tonight.
     
  4. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    Man I got fucking drunk as shit last night.

    But here is the thing, I hardly drank anything compared to normal. A glass of wine and a few shots had me completely out of it.

    What the fuck?
     
  5. DrFrylock

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    The White

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    Hey cool your liver is giving out.
     
  6. ghettoastronaut

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    ... how did you know?
     
  7. AlmostGaunt

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    Some fail clarity. I have been chatting with this woman all,night. In all normal universes, her sitting on my lap would be a reasonable signal. However... every time we get a bit closer, at her initiation, she then pulls away citing the boyfriend who hasn't fucked her in 5 months. She 'can't remember the last time she had foreplay.' Seems like a greenlight, but then she bursts into tears because her bf has only fucked her from behind, and the last time was in January. I don't want to lay into him, but what the hell?

    Ps if this seems odd from me, I agm very, very blazed, drunk, and confused.
     
  8. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I'm sorry, you just said that she's bursting into tears? You must want to get laid REALLY bad, huh? Like, REALLY REALLY fucking bad.

    I seriously can't believe you are telling us this shit. Pull the chute already, man.
     
  10. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    Damn, my landlord (apparently) just sent a text saying she's showing the apt. in 15 minutes. WTF? I was about to clean anyway, but at least give me an hour dawg.
     
  11. Frank

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    Sooo... How'd that whole thing end up working out for you?
     
  12. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    About to make BlueDog's barbacoa tacos, with a few slight alterations. And begin drinking -- late, I know, but I've been running around today.
     
  13. Frank

    Frank
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    I'll have one with you, against my better judgement I worked sober today. Time to remedy that.

    GF is leaving in a couple hours to see "Bad Teacher" with some co-workers, I just got a new video game in the mail and everyone I know is busy. Looks like my night is planned out.
     
  14. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Shitty day over here right now... rain and cold, temps due to drop to 8°C, overall shitty.

    I spent some time in the garage fabbing up a new metal block for a piece of my office chair. Specifically, I have a fairly comfortable Herman Miller chair that I've enjoyed for about 10 years. One of the internal adjustments is controlled by a plastic shim against a cam (the tilt-back adjustment), and that plastic piece has deformed over the years until it finally stopped being capable of doing its job.

    I called HM to see if they could send me a replacement, and they couldn't. I'd have to send in the whole main part of the chair assembly for them to do the replacement. WTF? Screw that... that's a week of no chair, plus 3 hours driving, plus $250. All for a plastic piece that should have a replacement cost of well under $5. It's not any bigger than a couple Lego blocks, and could be dropped in the mail for a buck.

    Fuck that.

    So, being bored, I headed to the garage and grabbed a small aluminum scrap piece I had and my Dremel, and made an aluminum replacement. After a couple hours of fucking around, thoughts of heading to my friend's place to use his milling machine, and a couple of beers, I finally had a replacement piece that fit.

    And works like a hot damn.

    Made my day.

    It really is the small things in life.
     
  15. Nom Chompsky

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    They're not even in the oven yet and I'm already convinced Blue Dog is a genius. I'm pretty sure his recipe is exactly what I've been looking for for months now.

     

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  16. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    The Dog does know his food, for sure.

    For me it's homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sammiches.
     
  17. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    My goodness gracious there is a lot of fat people at this wedding.

    I'm playing "She talks to angels".
     
  18. dixiebandit69

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    I'm feeling conflicting emotions right now; I just found out that my brother-in-law and his family are moving back down here from Buffalo.
    It will be good because I'll get to see my nieces for the first time in about 4 years, and they are probably the closest thing to daughters that I'm ever gonna get.
    On the down side, HE will be back. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy and we get along fine, but here's the catch: He always has something going wrong with his cars because he doesn't maintain them. Normally a guy like that would be a mechanic's wet dream, but he always wants me to fix it for free, or if not free, for a drastically reduced price, and he takes months to pay me.
    The only reason why I put up with this in the past is because he is sort-of family, and he and his wife used to watch my son a lot.
    Sheesh...Well, who knows, maybe he's changed.
     
  19. D26

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    Between this and the piece of pizza I ate at work today (we had free pizza to promote a new pizza place in town) I feel a serious backslide coming on my path to losing weight. Seriously, it was the single best piece of pizza I've ever eaten in my life, and I want more.

    On second thought, I really don't want to be the fatty at a wedding.
     
  20. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Did he used to just drop the car off and pick it up later?

    Be up front, tell him that you'll help HIM do the work, at his place, but you won't do it FOR him. Tell him to grab the repair manual(s), get some tools, and you'll show up with some beer and you'll oversee.

    I've found that the guys that want shit for free generally don't follow through with that, and take it to a pro.

    Or raise your prices, and tell him it's cash up front.
     
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