My buddy has a cabin in the mountains of Colorado that we go to every now and then, and they still have some books about bear attacks up there that are like 40 years old. Still, reading these stories gives you a tremendous amount of respect for Grizzly Bears and how quickly they can tear you to pieces. I have more fear and respect for Grizzlies than any other animal out there today. Well, I may fear snakes more than bears, but that's just my own personality default.
People don't appreciate the capabilities of bears, in general. Even a black bear can run down a horse over a short distance. Try and run up a tree, like lore says, and he'll follow you. They are pure muscle, and stronger than fuck. The only thing scarier than a Griz is a Polar Bear. They are the only animal on the planet that will actively stalk and kill a human just for shits and giggles. They are fucking cool as hell, but evil.
I've been lucky in that my run ins have all been with black bears, they're a funny creature, they can fuck you up but for the most part they'll choose to push you around like a school yard bully and steal stuff instead of kill you if they aren't ravenous. I didn't go on the trip but one of my dumb friends went on an overnight hike packing beef jerky and trail mix in his pockets, bears stalked them for days. My other friends wanted to kill him since they HAD FUCKING BEAR CANISTERS FOR THAT SHIT. Oh well, they all got closer to nature that time.
Will they? I know they are a strictly 'stay the fuck away' animal, but I thought it was because they were extremely territorial, not evil. And as for evil, one of the things I find funny is that the smaller animals on the farm will wander right up to the cows which, with an accidental step can squash the life out of them, but won't come within 20 feet of me. Can they sense our carnivorous spirit? As for animal speed, fuck, everything is faster than you'd probably think. Even dairy cows can run at a good clip, humans suck at sprinting, period.
Maybe, maybe not. My degree's in Economics, so I'm sure I could build off that one way or another. Obviously not banks, yeah, I don't even know any savings accounts that will give you a 3% return now. So I'll just make broad investments on the stock market; the NYSE has historically returned 11% per year, so being conserative I could probably get 4-5% accounting for inflation. I'll just use one of the companies that will exist for someone like me, and they'll look after my investments.
My wife says that black bears are the most harmless and that "you don't really need to worry about them."
If you guessed I ended up at home, crying, and jacking off in to a pool of my own tears, congratulations, you win! Your prize is that disturbing mental image. Backstory: 'Bianca' has a boyfriend on the other side of the country who was supposed to move here, but refuses to come, or visit her. Her friend, 'Beatrice', is trying to get her to hook up with me because the boyfriend's a douche and serially cheats on Bianca. Anyway, she's sitting on my lap, and she starts telling me that although her current boyfriend doesn't want to fuck her, he's still better than her previous boyfriend who choked her and slammed her through a door - but that was her fault because she antagonized him. After suggesting to her that telling someone he has a small dick is not grounds for being punched and arguing this back and forth for a while, I decide that we probably aren't going to get along, and say something incredibly clever like 'look, I'm starting to wonder whether I'm gay or violent enough to keep trying to hook up with you'. Smooth. She is mortally offended, jumps off my lap, and that basically ends that. We talk civilly for another hour or so, then she goes home and I head back to mine where the housemates have people round for drinks and general chaos. TL;DR: poorly.
No shit. They can smell food a mile away, and aren't shy about looking for it. I had a friend who had one side of his tent ripped out because he had forgotten some food in his bag in his tent. Woke up at 2am when his tent fell on him, and he heard heavy breathing/snorting. Then he realized he wasn't at home in bed with his wife, and started screaming bloody hell. We came out just in time to see the bear running away with his my buddy's duffel bag in his mouth. We eventually got it back, as we just had to follow the trail of dropped clothes, but my buddy didn't want to spend the 2nd night there any more.
Did you see the video that Nett (I think) posted awhile ago with polar bears being filmed with hidden cameras? They were hidden in things that looked like floating ice and snow. The polar bears crushed and destroyed the things for fun.
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.gan.ca/animals/bears+of+canada.en.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.gan.ca/animals/bears+of+canada.en.html</a> Hungry or not, they'll go out of their way to fuck your shit up.
It was from an incredibly entertaining BBC series on hidden cameras filming (or trying to film) polar bears.
One of your end quote's didn't have the "/" symbol in it, I have no background in computers, I'm shitfaced and I noticed that in less than two seconds. Yet you think you can pick a company that will show continuous returns over 150 years, I wouldn't even bet on an immortal Warren Buffet doing that.
On a brief non-bear-related tangent... Fuck, that game was a disaster. Congrats to the wife, BD. Time to head to the bars
Hooray to coming home from a long day to an empty house. I just wish there was more beer in the fridge, I don't want to leave the silence... Should I jump my man tonight? Hmm, what should I do to surprise him...?
I challenge anyone to name me a better drink than Crown Black, rocks. (Yes, I know Crown neat could theoretically be better because of less potential for water, but I drink it before the ice melts, so rocks works.)