I couldn't see it too clearly, but it looks like two people sitting together looking out over a landscape of some sort. Edit: Forgot to add the requisite...whatever it is we're doing here... NSFW
Either the booze store needs to have a big ass sale again or I should get that "real" job sooner. Until then, I'm looking for value.
I can't rep it, otherwise I would have, but this is probably one of the best posts I've ever seen. Ever. I'm laughing so hard right now I'm in tears. Holy crap. You've GOT to read that article.
Internet, you funny. Also, red wine is the best. Honestly, the list of things that are better than red wine is like...puppies, Game of Thrones, and orgasms. But not when all combined.
Eh, I don't seek it out, but it isn't a deal-breaker for me. Especially not stubble. I wouldn't know anything about smegma. See, this is what I'm talking about. I have been with girls who wouldn't let me go down on them because they hadn't shaved in a few days, and they don't realize (even though I explained it to them in plain English) that I don't give a shit. And they smelled really good too. Yup. A shaved pussy is cool as a novelty (you know, when a girl tells you "Guess what I did today!" and pulls up her skirt to reveal a shaved/waxed crotch), but otherwise I don't see the utility of keeping it hairless all the time.
Just like some guys want to grow a beard but can't deal with the itchy phase, some chicks can't handle walking around with stubble poking their vag and itching all day, so...while it was a valiant effort to keep it, pubes go bye bye.
Raise your hand if a gay guy on a bicycle just asked to fuck you. He didn't even offer 10 grand. Strangely, I'm still flattered. Does anyone feel bad turning down a fat chick? She was nice and obviously into me, but there's no attraction on my part. I barely said boo to her. Got suckered into driving her home and it was really uncomfortable trying to get her out of the car. I just feel bad. I'd say game on to make her night, but she's a clinger. I can't lead someone on no matter what they look like. Before she got out she told me about her brothers beating up a bad boyfriend. What the fuck? Weird fucking night. Gay guys, fatties, gangly weirdo hitting on me. number from a lesbian. All I want to do is horf and maybe grab some meatballs.
Alright, this isn't going to be funny and I'm sorry that it's not, but I am fucking livid and am about half a second away from trying to tear a hole in the concrete wall of my basement, so I have to write this shit out somehwere. My birthday was Sunday. I saved going out until Thursday, because there's a free downtown concert series and we could just go out after. It rains, no concert. We just go to the shit bars around 11. I go with 3 of my friends. One of them says she will DD. I am wary, because whenever she drives she ends up getting drunk anyway, which leads to many arguments. I make her promise not to drink and drive, and she does. So I let her drive. I drove my car to her house before we left. We get to the bar/club (I don't know what the fuck its trying to be). I put her key on my keyring so she doesn't lose it. The bar is pretty fucking stupid. I'm not drunk at all. I start drinking beer, but it doesn't really work. After about an hour or so here, I'm informed by one friend that she had just taken 2 or 3 shots with the DD. This was after the DD had been drinking a little bit early, had already had two or three drinks at the bar, and generally has a terrible tolerance. This is proven by the fact that she's dancing with ugly guys, which wouldn't happen had she been sober. So, she's drunk. Great. She drove a stick to the bar. I'm not very good at stick (yeah, I know, I'm not a real man blah blah blah), so I can't drive home. I'm bored at the bar and kind of mad that this is happening just like I knew it would in the back of my brain. So, I go outside. Turns out I wasn't given a wristband when I went in. The guy won't give me a new one. Double great. I'm already outside, so I can't get back in, so I just wait outside. I get these texts from her in succession: "Where are you" "Dude comd outside" After this, I was in the middle of a call with another person and she called me, and I didn't pick up. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU YOU PIE@E OF SHIT GIVE ME MY JEYS YOU FUCKER" Me: "What the hell are you talking about I'm outside jesus" She storms outside, I start to take her key off of the ring, and she just grabs mine and hers keys and storms off. I was too shocked to do anything, so I just stood there. She then said "I'm fucking leaving either you're coming or you're not". I replied "Just give me my keys." "Come to valero" What the fuck? I don't even know what that is. This continues on until she pulls up next to me and dangles my keys out of her window. She then speeds off, abandoning me at the bar. I told her this is the last time she's going to see me and that she's pretty much a terrible person. I should have stopped talking then, but I didn't. She replied that she hopes I have fun being an asshole in NYC where nobody likes me, just like how it is in Rochester and Buffalo. At this point I just keep replying "Thanks" to everything she says. Apparently she "showed the text conversation we had to my other friends," and apparently they think I'm overreacting. This girl is on chance 14, after all the stupid crazy shit she's done to me, admitted, and then kept on doing it. I kept taking her back as a friend because we've always been really close, just had a really rocky relationship. Not any fucking more, but that doesn't make all this stupid shit so infuriating. Alright, you can go back to your funny, sorry for interrupting everything.
Day 0 of vacation: Success! Went out to dinner at a new place before packing up to leave tomorrow; they had dueling pianos. Small crowd. Gave them $10 and wrote on the request slip "any song with a train in it" because we are going on a train tomorrow. This is a huge softball for any minimally-competent musician because all musicians, by law, must know at least 2 train songs. They thought this was great and played Runaway Train by Tom Petty, Crazy Train by Ozzy, and The Gambler (which takes place on a train) by Kenny Rogers. They were going to play a 4th train song, but some idiot slut went up and paid them $5 to play I Will Survive. One of the two guys played it, and every time there was a musical break, the other guy would just go off about how that was a stupid, overplayed chick song that he hated, and he hated anyone that would ask them to play it. Fabulous.
If you talk to this chick again, it should be solely to chew her the fuck out until she cries. Then write her off completely. To do that for your birthday is off the charts. I cannot stand crap like this from anyone. And everyone knows at least one. It's one thing to tone back the drink, another to get shit housed as a DD. She is a selfish, useless bitch. Anyone that agrees with her is also a useless fuckshit. Bet you kind of liked this chick too? On a happier note, risotto and meatballs are nothing but win. In my utopia, meatballs will stop the beer spins immediately. In fact, meatballs will become currency as well as ammunition.
Wait, so what is the purpose of the fraternity rush/admissions process then? If it doesn't weed out this guy, what exactly is it for?
That shit is gaspingly hilarious. I nearly feel out of my chair when they mention the part of him flexing for the homeowners.
It is 6:43 AM and I'm not going to work. And my beer fridge is empty. Someone bring me breakfast and alcohol? I'd trade my left tit.
It's funny, and if you know him, it's very unnerving at the same time. Having to deal with it when the earlier events occurred wasn't so fun. As far as Frylocks question about the Rush/Pledge processes, he had joined 2 years before I did and the recruitment process was very different. When I joined and first met him, he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Over the course of the following years though, he became a heavy LSD and Ecstasy user and began dwindling further from sanity. The first signs came when he started visiting frequently after he had graduated. He made up this big elaborate lie about how he was suing Armani for $50,000,000 because some suit he bought gave him a skin rash. Because of this, he said he could afford to wear designer clothes every day. Also, he went out and "bought" (read: leased in actuality) a new Mercedes, drove it until the gas tank was empty, ditched it on the side of the highway, and walked to the dealership and got another one. Let that sink in. Another instance other than the said Miami trip, was he took the same guys from the Miami trip to NYC, bought them Rolexes on credit, and then simply left them in New York for no discernible reason.
The last time I did was when I dropped my pants this morning. I've really got to make with the personal grooming.... In unrelated news, and for anyone that was wondering, cortisone shots into your hips tendons make it feel like you've just been double kicked in the hip crease by Senorita Burro from earlier in the thread.