It's true. Nothing gets me going like a classic insult artfully urinated into the winter wonderland that is my yard nine months of the year.
I was peeing once while backcountry camping in southern Colorado and got charged by a trio of mountain goats. Turns out they like the salt in urine. Scariest fucking piss of my life. Mountain goats look like big stupid dumb harmless creatures, and then they're running at you full speed with their eight-inch horns pointed at your nuts and making noises that sound oddly like a growling dog. I screamed (a manly one, of course) and ran what I estimate was 4.2-second 40-yard dash with my fly down. They didn't want anything to do with me though. They just fought and pushed one another for the privilege of burying their noses in my piss puddle.
Played wack-a-sage rat today in my dad's orchards. What's that? You don't know how to play wack-a-sage rat? Why, it's very simple; use a tractor to haul a 500 gallon water tank to a field, stick the hose into a sage rat hole to drown them out, and then wack them over the head with a shovel. Yeah it's cruel, but I fucking hate those bastards.
Just be careful doing it off your balcony in the city of Dallas, TX. Worst $250 I ever spent. Course, I'm lucky I didn't get any sort of public indecency tacked on, forcing me to start every conversation with "pursuant to megan's law..."
I would like to play for the other prize then, got enough of that already. Maybe I'll sell some at a garage sale.
Me too. But my once was only two weeks ago. Yes, after 30 years of drinking I decided I needed to get so fucked up that I pissed myself while sleeping, for the first time in my life. I think they're calling my name on a certain other thread. Conversely, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pissing outside. Whipping it out in the great wide open, the breeze gently ruffling the short and curlies - its what a man lives for. That and bacon.
Tonight sucks. When I got off work at 8:30 I thought I just wanted to stay home and watch a movie or something. I have since changed my mind, but there's nothing to do. Not to mention that my car is ridiculously low on gas, much lower than I usually let it get, and since the one gas station in this town is crazy busy because of the fair I can't even go anywhere. So here I am, sitting at home drinking Crown and coke watching How I Met Your Mother reruns. Thank God I have plans tomorrow night or I might have to kill myself.
With a boner, in the morning, off the front deck; why even bother with the toilet? Yep, mostly it's nice to live on a street called Dead Ends Dr. Not one dead end, but two EDIT: Sometimes, when the cat is laying out in the morning sun, I like to see him run.
Since people are talking about rep and the repercussions and whatnot I thought I'd share this with you. Remember a TIB member named Virty? He was the guy who made a thread suggestion titled "Ask a Sociopath?" that was full of "Hey! Look at me. Will someone please look at me!". Well I sent him a red for that and it said, "You are gay". The asinine PMs that followed were... Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler There are seven more of these. Most were done in a 10 hour time frame.
Kink is on IFC right now. I didn't know they even filmed that anymore; I thought they did it once ten years ago and that was it. These people are nuts. It's one thing to read Scootah talk about a violet wand...it's another to see someone enjoy something like that. And by 'someone' I mean 'big fat butch lesbian.' *shudder*
Well, I used to date this girl who liked to sneak into my house on her way to work. I would leave the sliding glass in my bedroom unlocked and when she would peak in in the morning I would say, "OOh look, it's an angel!" Then right before I came I would say," I want to drip into your panties all day long." Is that what you mean?
I am higher than Bono's opinion of himself. Jesus, now I know what Curren$y is talking about in all his songs...