I know, not an otter, but I need to ask something: why is that... thing up there our national animal? America has the Bald Eagle, which is oine of the most badass-looking animals on the planet. Russia has a bear, a killing machine. Our wildlife here includes Elk, wolverines, timberwolves, grey wolf, snowy owls, grey-horned owls, moose, falcons, all assortments of bears, mountain lions, bobcats and lynx, and YES bald eagles too...ANYTHING they could have chosen beside that fat ping pong paddle-tailed porcupine wannabe up there that smacks the water whenever it gets nervous. It's fucking NOCTURNAL. You never see them until you blow them up with dynamite. A country's shame. In despite the awesome name of it.
Canada: Crown makes a good point. Because the Wolverine is a badass giant weasel cuddle-bug. He sho KOOT! *bone crunch*
Aw, that's really sad. I didn't want to see a dead animal in the drunk thread today. In brighter news:
Every easy shot OKC gets is like someone shitting on my chest. I don't want to see these guys in the Finals. I'm not 100% sure a healthy Rose does much about this.
I know that there are still many hours left in the day, but I'm kind of disappointed that I've never been really pranked for April Fool's. Every year, the closest I get is believing a fake blog post when I'm reading my RSS thing, but then remembering it's April Fool's before it's over. (This year, it was that Brooklyn was going to start charging people to get into Prospect Park.) A couple of weird things have happened today, though. First, this girl I went to high school with, who I never talked to in high school and haven't talked to since but still friended me a while ago, FB chatted me asking me to help her solve an algebra problem. The question was also her status. And it's not like I was known for being a math person in high school. I was known for the opposite of math things in high school. It was strange. I'm still trying to decide whether it was just a genuinely odd occurrence, or a very poorly executed practical joke. And then on the subway I accidentally sat across from this crazy old lady who was talking to herself. I saw her hand something to me and thought maybe it was tissues or something, but I looked and saw that she was trying to give me a wad of cash. I shook my head and she said "TAKE IT!" and when I said "No...thank you..." She said "Oh, is it not enough?" And pulled out more money from her pocket. I should've taken it. After paying rent I have, like, $20 for the week.
One time I tried to convince a few gullible people that I'd come out of the closet. The trick was on me, though, when an ex-girlfriend believed me.
I did the same thing once, and it turns out that: 1.) The people on Riker's Island are very gullible 2.) They don't take well to being tricked
Philalawyer has some good tweets today <a class="postlink" href="http://twitter.com/#!/phila_lawyer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://twitter.com/#!/phila_lawyer</a> And my personal favourite:
From the horrifying visuals department: I have a buddy, he's a great guy, but he also weighs north of 360 pounds. He's a big boy. BIG. He also has a boil/mole/possible alien growing on his back. It's like a huge disturbing mushroom. It has also burst in another friend's truck and left a mark of blood and puss. Yeah, that's all pretty disgusting..but it gets worse. My buddy has a new girlfriend and he's quite smitten with her. He called me last night and told me "We've been exploring each other's body." ACCCCKKKKKK! Wrech, wrech, wrech. He could've used any other words including "We fucked like tribal Africans in the mud" and I would've been ok with it. All I could picture was that huge boil leeching puss and other unholy substances. I simply hung up the phone before he could continue his story and spent the rest of the night beating my head against the wall in an attempt to kill the part of my brain that held this visual. Just thought I'd share the misery with y'all. You're welcome.
So not that this story wasn't basically horrifying in all ways, and did NOT need to be shared, but the thing that's really bothering me is... what word is that supposed to be?
I am guessing retch, as in the act of vomiting. Of course I didn't read the story so it is hard to know for sure.