Game Of Drunks! 3/30/12

You can't come out of the closet when the closet walls are made of glass, there are no doors, and we can see you having sex with men inside it.

Spoiler

keed. right?

 

this is the third week in a row that I've been sober on Saturday night only to get drunk on Sunday afternoon. Weirdness.

 

Awesomeness. This is as good as otters.

 

This is a plague where I come from. Apparently, it's the one piece of history every redneck seems to need to know to defend a weirdly (it's one of many flags the Confederacy had, and this was a naval flag) adopted symbol.

There are also a lot of Tibetans who don't sport swastikas any more because they have some common sense.

What baffles me about this is: you are fucking Canadian. You could not be further removed from the Confederacy, the American South, the American Civil War, or the culture in general and still be on the same continent. So, you are proud of where I come from? Just without the balls or knowledge to admit it was a dark time in our history, to acknowledge the years of restoration, reconciliation, and restitution that came after the war? Without the honor, decency or common sense to give credit to the millions of people who have spent much of the last 160 years trying to bury the racist, bigoted, ignorant hatred and move forward? Without admitting the simple fact that if the Confederacy had succeeded, the practice of slavery would have continued into another century? You choose a symbol associated with racism, slavery and neo-nazis (you know, the scum of the fucking Earth) to express a sentiment like "Don't Tread On Me" instead of an actual historical flag with the words "Don't Tread On Me" written on them?

What, do you also have a flag of the 1822 Lithuanian conflict over unjust taxation of the candlestick makers? How about the 1817 war for Chilean bean farming rights?

Whatever your "don't tread on me" thing is, you should know that flying that flag north of Virginia or west of Texas makes you look like an ignorant, racist, redneck wannabe. Those of us who are from the states who rebelled take the time to study our heritage, honor the men and women involved in that conflict appropriately, and detest the classless fucks who plaster a minor piece of our history onto Hank Williams and Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirts and neo-nazi propaganda.

From an authentic Southerner, who is not a "cidiot" and does truly get it: you don't get it. You misinterpret the history of MY country and you should pick another symbol of being a redneck moron. Stop prattling about a history that isn't yours and that you don't understand.

 

Captain Pedantic to the rescue!

Wretch: 1: a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune
2: a base, despicable, or vile person

Obviously he is calling his friend and the obviously blind, desperate woman he is having relations with miserable wretches.

Or maybe he meant:

Retch: 1: To make an effort to vomit
2: To vomit

It could be either one when you think about it.

And just to get things back on track:

NSFW

 

I've had like 9 people in my facebook feed post "Winter is coming" in the last hour or so. I'm pumped.

 

I have an awful chest cold that is so haggard, every time I cough it sounds like Megatron getting punched in the chest. I go to see an Indonesian doctor and her suggestions for asthma and chest congestion: 1. Wear a surgical mask to keep dust and pollen out of my "airs". Strike one. 2. Wear gloves, to prevent pollen from getting in my face. Strike 2. 3. Don't drink coffee, tea or juice because it is bad for asthma. Just drink water or coca-cola. Strike 3, you're out. Cue me studying about this paleo nonsense, because of the huge benefits it has for allergies, asthma and other maladies that affect Trekkies.

Since I am bedridden, I have watched about 25 hours of UFC highlights and 'best of' fights. I genuinely like the commentary, because without it, I wouldn't know how accomplished these fighters are, what their skills are and how their strategies are different from one another. But at least twice each fight, Joe Rogan sees a submission attempt that is utterly not there. "Oh, they're holding hands, singing Kumbaya, he must be going for an armbar." Also, Tito Ortiz inherited Hulk Hogan's hot-dog-esque skin and it's kind of frightening. Why does a Latino cage fighter that is famous for being cocky blister under the lights like a sausage in a convenience store rotisserie? Finally, these fighters are like the "If you want to ever have sex again, don't do these things" poster children for a generation of men who will never know the joys of receiving a blowjob from a mouth not sculpted from years of meth and spousal abuse. UFC is good fighting, bad culture.

 

True.

It also gives southern people a bad name. I live in the deep south and don't have that symbol anywhere in my house or my truck (yes, it is a 4x4). I see the stars and bars as more or less an agitator meant to say, "hey, look at me! I'm badass!" instead of saying "I'm proud of my southern heritage."

 

Usually in South Carolina flying the confederate flag means "I don't like black people." Unfortunately racism is still pretty rampant here.

 

That's exactly what I was getting at. It means the same thing in GA.

 

I don't understand, if people want to show white pride, why don't they just put up Jason Mraz posters?

 

Exactly, like a moose holding a hockey stick over a field of red and black flannel.

 

So, with Game of Thrones, do the people who have not read the books have a hard time following along? I ask because I try to force my husband to watch with me, and I know he is completely lost, but isn't really enjoying my "educational moments" either. I would kind of like this to be a show we can watch together, but I know he has no idea what in the hell is going on, who all the characters are, and how they are linked.

 

My wife hasn't read the books, but she is really into the show. If she has questions she'll ask me. Usually it is "who the fuck is that dude again?"

After she watched the first season for the 2nd time, all in a row, she was able to follow it pretty easily.

 

I guess it would help if he didn't watch while he was folding his laundry, from the other room, while reading his Sports Illustrated, and checking out sports scores on his ipad.

Sigh, I guess I'll just have to come to terms that I will just be watching this one alone. Good thing I have you guys.

 

I actually drive my wife nuts with this kind of thing. I'll watch a show while still playing online, playing a game on my iPhone, PSP, or DS, and still completely follow along with what is going on. She hates it.

 

Yep, that is totally me. My husband remarks that I haven't looked up from my computer once, yet I always know exactly what is going on. He, however, doesn't have the same gift for multi-tasking. I tried to call him on it....
Me - do you know who that is?
Him - yes (reading magazine)
Me - who is it then....
Him - silence

He's just not interested, oh well. I am even making him watch the encore presentation.

 

What do dragons eat?!?!?! I swear, if I have to watch a baby dragon starve in this series I will fucking quit HBO.