Fuck, I went out drinking by myself again. Screw it, this my new thing, I will be the drunk alone guy at the bars. Tomorrow night I will fly solo to the dirty bird and hit on slutty sorority girls, fuck wingmen I am the lone eagle. Fuck having friends that don't go out anymore.
I'm debating whether I want to go in to work today, or not. I probably should, I need the money and my boss might run into more catastrophic computer trouble. My friend usually handles all that, but since he's up in New York on vacation it's fallen to me. Yesterday, some pictures 'disappeared' from both his camera and his computer. Turns out he had just stuffed them into the wrong folder. Then, he wanted to move some other pictures around so he called me back over. While I was showing him how to cut and paste (yes, really) I came across this picture my friend had left in the pictures folder, where this problem has apparently come up multiple times. Then, my boss started panicking because he couldn't print in color. "What the fuck? I gave Anthony $20 so he could buy the cartridges. Why isn't this working?" Then he stormed out and asked me to fix it. "Uh Clint, I can't fix it because there's no color cartridge in there. If you wanted both cartridges it costs for than $20, the color cartridge by itself is probably around $30." "What the fuck? So how much does it cost to print a goddamn picture? Stupid fucking computers!" "It's the printer this time, not the computer." 'sighs' "Whatever, I'll see about getting one this weekend (it will almost definitely be the wrong cartridge). Thanks, you've been a great help today." Yep, I think I won employee of the month.
I read the study guide for Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Once it's laid out in plain English, it gets you all sorts of pumped up.
I think it's a grand idea. Fly first class, book a suite at the Plaza or the St. Regis, have the bed covered in rose petals each night as part of turndown service, hire a limo for the weekend. Upside? You'll earn enough points on your card that you can fly her in to see you FREE! Coach, of course. Working around blackout dates. But if she loves you, she'll understand.
It just doesn't make sense. Now, if you send me $149.99, I will happily send you my foolproof system entitled, "How to Get Her to Come Visit You!". If you're not satisfied for whatever reason, you get back two thin mints and a handful of tepid pastrami.
Things I learned today: 1. If you're going to bottle wine, do not wait until 2 hours before you're supposed to be at the wine place before you try to remove the labels from 60 bottles. 2. If you're going to purchase bottles from a buddy, make sure none of them are bottles of Italian wine. Apparently in Italy, they use industrial cyanoacrylates to adhere the labels to the bottles, followed by a nice little UV-cure. You will try to remove them, you will not succeed, you will curse every Italian that lived. The Spanish have this shit down. Tossed a bottle of Rioja in the water and the label shrieked and disintegrated. 3. Check for mould in the bottles before you begin. Do not assume that, just because your buddy said "I cleaned 'em out", that he really cleaned 'em out. Fucking. Disgusting. 4. Manicures do not hold up to 2 hours of (wasted time - see bullet point #3) cleaning bottles.
I say do it. You're young, love is grand, and really, in the scheme of things, what's a little more debt? I may or may not just have stayed up all night, though, so grain of salt that advice.
Probably be cheaper just to get a hooker. edit - that was to dubya in case that wasn't clear. Although that advice could stand alone in many many instances.
I'll actually give you a helpful answer. Think about whether she's the type of girl who'd find this a really romantic gesture, or kind of creepy and erratic. Or, the worst answer, whether she would even care. There's your answer. Also, I thought she lived near you? Didn't you hang out before last week, or am I mixing up all the ladies you're rolling in?
Well, I can't listen because my husband is sitting right next to me, but if it says something about "you get 2 minutes and I will be expecting a Louis Vuitton bag for this" then that sounds about right. (kidding guys)
I usually get the last word: "Drag the teeth, and I'll knee you like Blanka!" Man, this hydro I picked up is Supertits. Since I'm feeling hilarious, this is the most awesome clothing line in history. Two words, two nicknames for vaginas:
And this is the only time in history that someone has cursed Italian workmanship for its durability, reliability and quality.
God, it's only 12:45 in the afternoon and I really could go for a drink. Took the girlfriends car to get an oil change though, so I have to pick her up from work at 4. I guess I can wait until then. Dinner at a fancy Hibachi Steakhouse tonight, and then a dueling piano bar for a friends 30th Birthday, so I guess it's probably best that I don't start this early.
I have no issue cursing their work when it comes to designing their own house. I know your last name is more Italian than "Eddie Spigetti" so excuse the rant: YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN ROMAN TIMES. You do not need gigantic gawdy white ribbed pillars, a fountain freshly pick-pocketed from Vatican Square with naked marble children pissing into it, twenty half-tonne stone lawn ornaments and a swinging wrought iron gate (with initials) to greet you at the front of the single-lane dirt driveway at your shamelessly converted 4-bedroom. In the middle of the suburbs. Where every other house on the street does NOT look like a bad guy from Grand Theft Auto Vice City lives there.