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Get Hotwheelz Laid

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by iczorro, Jul 24, 2010.

  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    There's ways to learn without offhandedly referring to her as a 'trollop' and a 'sociopath.'

    And anyone who's ever met someone off an internet dating site can let you know how that reverse engineering works.
     
  2. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    Thundering Assholes, this is how you backtrack on the internet. End of lesson.

    Also, we clearly have a new board mascot. The TiB Thundering Assholes. I want to see a logo ASAP.
     
  3. hotwheelz

    hotwheelz
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    Yeah, we've been talking these past few weeks and she's really cool. Right now she's on vacation so her internet access is limited, me is sad.

    Also, no threesomes. Believe or not, I can think with something besides my dick. No, she won't post here, especially when you're insulting her. I mean, here's your logic:

    "Someone should totally have sex with HW!"

    "I'll do it! I'll take a week out of my life to hang out with him, it'll be fun!"

    "TROLLOP! SOCIOPATH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"

    Fucking seriously? What the fuck?
     
  4. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    Stop. Take a minute. Think about it. Are you really surprised? Really?

    Really?
     
  5. Politik

    Politik
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    Maybe being on a message board has caused a couple of you to lose sight of how mother fucking weird this entire thing is. HW deserves this, and he is the man, but having a stranger fly across the country to pop the cherry of a wheel-chair bound virgin is pretty fucked.
     
  6. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    At least this time around, there isn't a disclaimer at the bottom of the board claiming the content of the thread as the sole intellectual property of the board owner. Wheelzie, it sounds like you've got a screenplay. Or at least a TNT one-hour drama.
     
  7. LessTalk MoreStab

    LessTalk MoreStab
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    Some of you are far to invested in this thread.

    Hope it works out for you HW, I'll be rooting for you.
     
  8. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    Just to clarify...the "Thundering Assholes" reference was directed at one person only. Feel free to use it as you wish, though.
     
  9. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    Let's not pretend it isn't widely applicable.
     
  10. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    It is beautifully versatile.
     
  11. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    I really do want someone to draw a logo. I have visions of a robust herd of balloon knots in full stampede leaving clouds of dust in their wake. Maybe some block lettering underneath to clarify.

    Now that's a banner heading.
     
  12. Sleeves

    Sleeves
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    Bitches.. I dare someone to challenge me.. felt like the inspiration and the ambition should get a shout out

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    Now where the hell is Gris when we need him? QueenBee, hook us up.
     
  14. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    Beefy looks like he's enjoying it more. It being Chater's foot (who is asian now, try to keep up folks).
     
  15. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
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    I've put in the call..........

    You're right, he is the chocolate sauce, whipped cream and maraschino cherry that this particular ice cream sundae is crying for.
     
  16. ssycko

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    Well, at the very least it's our softball team's name.

    Now that I think about it, that's a pretty intimidating name.

    "Who are we playing next week?"
    "The Thundering Assholes."
    "Oh shit man, I've heard those guys are nuts."
     
  17. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    "Meh, they're full of shit."

    And, I thought the original quote was Thundering Bipolar Assholes -- now there's an MSPaint I'd like to see . . .
     
  18. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    "Aww, come on. How bad can they be?"

    "Dude. You have no idea. Their captain's like from Syria or whatever and eats babies for breakfast. Their first baseman's some clown-shoes lawyer who EATS HIS OWN TOES! The catcher has no feeling from the neck down and still pulls pussy from other countries BEFORE HE EVEN MEETS THEM! They got a crazy Cajun dude who has Knob Creek on tap and runs over old people with his boat. Their outfield consists of a redneck who fucks his neice, an 8-foot-tall insurance agent who moonlights as a hooker, and a guy whose brain cancer gives him MAGICAL POWERS! If you try and argue the rules, they have a college kid with an IQ of 4,394 and incurable Diabeetus who will tell you what's what on any day of the week, and TWICE on Sundays."

    "Man, they sound fucking dysfunctional."

    "Just wait until you meet their manager. I hear he has Down's Syndrome and his own dungeon..."






    On-topic: HW, we're all happy for you. Just...refrain from making her wear the Tim Tebow jersey.
     
  19. Aetius

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    Fuck that, make her get the Friar Tebow haircut. Fits right in with her "good works" schtick:

    [​IMG]
     
  20. hotwheelz

    hotwheelz
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    It's not gonna happen. Her flight was scheduled for this Saturday, but she changed her mind last minute after talking to her mom about it. So yeah, cockblocked by her mom. It fucking sucks because she went MIA for a few weeks and wouldn't respond to messages. She said she's been really busy, but I'm skeptical.

    The part that bugs me is that I told her repeatedly to communicate with me and be let me know what was going on and she didn't. It took three messages telling her that I needed to know if I needed to get our very generous benefactors' money back. She finally let me know Monday. I haven't responded because that would not be a very pleasant message.

    I've had the irresistible urge to listen to The Cure and look at the wall for the past few days. I guess that'll go away, but this really took the wind outta my sails. Hooray for 2 month long cock teases, I guess.

    That being said, thanks everyone for this. Especially Superfantastic and the two anonymous donors.

    Back to square 1 for me.