Sorry to hear that, HotWheelz. An internet floozie got cold feet and chickened out on taking my virginity back in my first year of university, too. Took me another year to get laid (but it was with a real girl, not an internet floozie). Interestingly, I wasn't aware that the sort of person who was willing to hop on a plane and take a stranger's virginity was also the type to discuss said choice with their mother.
Alright board, time to redouble our efforts. We're looking for the not-technically-a-prostitute "hooker with a heart of gold" type here.
Hence the "heart of gold" bit. You'll teach her kid about military strategy and she'll kick your ass at Halo and you'll form a deep emotional bond.
Now, hotwheelz, does she necessarily have to be breathing at the time of intercourse? Anyone know how long a body stays warm? According to Splinter Cell they cool off in about five minutes. If that's true you're going to have to be ready to go when the opportunity strikes.
Hey... none of that shit from the peanut gallery. Let's be respectful of the situation, and while it sucks for Wheelz that it seems to have turned out the way it has, it's not like she's done this intentionally. Let's just all realize that it's a tough situation for ALL involved.
No problem, we get a couple of board members to help and work out a Weekend at Bernie's-type situation.
It's times like this that define who you are as a man. You've just gotta get your nurse to pick you back up and keep rolling on. We did this once, we can do it again.
I like how she consulted her mom first. As if her mom's going to write out a list of pros and cons for her: Pros: Help a kid lose his virginity Cons: Everything else. I'm all for sensitivity when appropriate, but I doubt Hotwheelz would want to be treated any different than his handicapable brethren, and this shit's hilarious. Sorry bud, you'll have your day but we're treating you like any other virgin soliciting a message board for ass.
Sorry to hear it, Wheelz. Fuck it. I think you'll get some on your own in college anyway. Here's a song.
Yeah, let's not turn this into insulting her for 5 pages. Though, I can definitely see the humor in the situation. So if you want joke about my hilariously bad luck, go for it. Let's just try to leave her out of it.
Well this is the point where we can tell you that when this type of situation happens you are supposed to play it off and tell everyone she was unattractive and a low key slut. Thus, since she was a grenade you can feel good about yourself for not fucking that disease ridden trollop. It's a situation.