Get Hotwheelz Laid

He'd have to buy a costume with tentacles, but that might just work.

 

Fruit Loops if she swallows.

I would have sex with a guy in a wheeelchair, if he's badass. Which Hotwheelz is. There is hope.

 

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oJUXTCAvyQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oJUXTCAvyQ</a>


You have to keep in mind the vice like grip that may crush his gibbletts into playdoh.

 

Thread over.

 

So I've got a friend who says she'd consider giving Hotwheels head. We're in Canada though.

She's also wondering how exactly it...works. Like, if there's no movement/feeling, how does it...work?

She also said that she "might not actually like him though, thats ok right? Like I would be doing it out of the kindness of my heart. Completely."

You wouldn't have to pay her, but I think it would only be polite to pay for her to get there, if you can't come here. I'm trying here, buddy.

Thoughts?

 

I find this whole thread demeaning and insensitive.

On a sidenote, my wife made shrimp pad thai for dinner last night and for a Wop, she makes damn good Gook food.

HW: Are you looking to just get laid, or are you looking for a relationship that includes getting laid? Seems it started with the former, but now sounds more like the latter. Which is it?

 

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

It's been a while since I read his blog but it's probably the About a Girl girl. It's a series and well worth the read.

 

I agree completely. When I first saw this thread and some of the posts I found it all rather offensive and decided I would have no part in it, but then...

Please explain...? I'm seriously interested in this. If you guys could elaborate on this at all, I think it would be very interesting. I don't know how the mechanics of it all work. Honestly, I didn't even realize quadriplegics could get boners. And for Chellie in particular, what were the events that lead to the three way secks? Is this is a person you were honestly attracted to, or something you did for the novelty or experience or whatever?

 

So... how YOU doing? Kidding, kidding.

Yeah, that's the furthest I've gotten.

A. Why wouldn't she like me? Don't understand.

B. There is feeling. What do you mean how does it work? It gets hard and you do stuff to it.

Not very often. I'm working on moving right now, going to UCLA in September.

Why?

Whichever, really. A Relationship would be nice, though.

 

I think what they mean by not understanding is, from what it seems like from the posts is that you have no movement in your arms and legs which would mean that your paralyzed from the neck down?
Which results in people thinking that you either
A. Can't get hard or
B. You can't feel the pleasure while using it
I'm not really educated on paralysis so thats what im getting from it at least.

I dont want this to come off as the wrong way, just trying to possibly clear up why that keeps coming up.

 

I'd tell her to go fuck herself, honestly. I mean I'd like to think that my sense of dignity would override my hormones.

No, I'm not paralyzed. Here's a link to the Muscular Dystrophy Wiki. I can feel everything and even wiggle my toes. Sexually, everything works normal.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Looking into clubs to join and all that jazz. Hopefully everything goes well and nothing prevents me from going.

 

Hotwheelz is too awesome to have not yet felt the sensation of a slippery wizard's sleeve. It's apparent that there are some girls who will fuck him on this board yet are too far away, so I vote that we start a collection and fly someone to his door. Who wouldn't love a free trip to Hotwheelz's neck of the woods?

 

I can't imagine being a fully functional teenager who couldn't jerk off, i think that's up there with the most horribly unfortunate things that could possibly happen to a guy and I really wish I could help. My sincere hope is that Hotwheelz gets to college, finds a nice girl who can suck a golfball through a gardenhose and has a fetish for wheel chair rides. But since we've ruled out getting the guy a hooker and we've established that he has some fragment of personal dignity - I can't see any way to actually yanno - help.

I would make the argument that you can keep your dignity and pay a masseur for a happy ending. Fine, save losing your virginity for a girl who matters - but since you can't do it, find someone to jerk you off a few times and don't worry about who they are. Going through puberty without a handjob, from yourself or someone else, is just fucking wrong. But I'm pretty sure that I know Raul well enough to know that he's not going to go for the argument unless we slip him some roofies first or something. And he's got the right to make that decision.

I can give advice to a lot of guys on how to get laid - but I don't think Raul needs any more advice. I mean shit, what advice could we give him that he hasn't already recieved a hundred times? What advice could he possibly fucking need? The dude is all kinds of awesome and the only thing preventing him from getting laid is the fact that not enough girls know him. The wheelchair makes his situation more difficult - but the dude is much too cool to not find someone who can see past that eventually - he just needs to get out more and meet more girls, and it seems like going to college is pretty much the best thing he could possibly do at this point. Unless there's something we can do to help get him to college or unless he needs reminding that he's awesome and if he talks to enough girls - one of them will like him enough to fuck him - I don't think that this is something the internet can fix.

 

Thanks man, but I don't want to scare away any of the girls nor put pressure on them to do anything.

Gosh man, you're way too nice to me. Thanks. And you're right about the masseuse thing, too. I don't want to exchange money for sexual favors.

 

Just go into a crowded place, intentionally put a hole in one of your wheels, ask the cutest.... er, I mean "nicest" girl you see to led you a hand. Tell her that because you can't move your arms, the tire tube and tire iron are in the front of your pants for safekeeping.

When she notices your condom-sheathed boner, tell her that you got the long-lasting ruber tire, and all she to do is act like the tire iron

 

See, based on this thread, I'd have thought you would've gone with head-over-wheels. But, whatever.

TiB is a small group of people who know very little about Raul. Yet, care enough to help him be deflowered. Sooo, when he gets to UCLA? Dude, Raul. You will get laid. It's LA. With hot, horny college girls. And, you have access to a van.

 

I have received rep questioning whether I "really would do a guy in a wheelchair." Yeah, I would. I am currently in a committed relationship, which puts a damper on helping HW out, for now. If things fail, well, ya never know.

And HW, college holds a lot of promise honey. I project in the next year, you'll get some action.

 

Well fuck, there goes my repertoire.

Seriously though, I reckon you'll pick up in college. Woody Allen said "half of all success is turning up" (or something like that, I'm much too lazy to Google it) - it's the truth. I put very little effort into picking up girls and I somehow do alright despite being pretty average looking and getting fucked up every weekend to the point I can't speak words any more, but I make the effort to go out and socialise. On the flip side, my friends who spend their time jacking off and playing Call of Duty could probably count the vaginas they've encountered on one hand (not that quantity matters at the end of the day). You'll do well once you get to know some girls, because you seem much nicer and more genuine than me.