Went to visit the parents for the weekend. Boring as fuck. Liquoer cabinet raided. Oh fuck, they have tombstone on dvd... Yep, I'm watching now.
I looked but can't find their version of 'Proud Souls'. It's so good, the board would love it. Anyway, this is the first song I heard from them. I love hearing, "Welcome to the Wormy Dog"! It's so BlueDog.
Yup. It does. Here's a thousand points. Remember to wait for the hidden track, y'all. It's so good. It starts at 4o.
Question for the TiBettes: Am I the only one who has a serious problem with condoms, where only a little bit into sex with a condom you get completely dry? It's like they suck any wetness that ever existed out of me. Does that mean I'm allergic to latex? I have no idea. All I know is I've never had more than, I don't know, 15 minutes of enjoyable sex with a condom on, and then it just starts to hurt because there's no lubrication. I always use a condom the first time I have sex with a new guy, but if it happens even one more time I have the "Hey are you clean? Because I'm clean and I fucking hate condoms" talk with them before we bang, and then it gets a million times better. Even though I have my own stash of random condoms, most of the time the guy just uses their own, so maybe they just all happen to be buying shitty condoms or something? I never have this problem with sex without a condom, unless we've been going for some ridiculous amount of time, so I've been curious for a while and for whatever reason I decided to ask about it right now. Condom is starting to sound like a really weird word. In other news, if I had a dime for every time I was asked to participate in a threesome while traveling these past two months, I would have 30 cents. The first time it was a hooker that asked me for her and her client, so I declined for obvious reasons - both of them were ugly, she was probably diseased, and I had a feeling I wouldn't get a share fair of the money, if any at all. (I think I need to clarify that I was kidding about that last part - it's been so long since I am able to be sarcastic so I got nervous.) The second time I never got to meet the guy, but I would've considered it if it hadn't been for this guy who totally cockblocked me even though I barely knew him and made it clear I wasn't interested and I'm super pissed about it still. The third time was tonight, and I wasn't attracted to either of them. Also, I'm a lady, and they really lacked tact when asking me. It's just a weird trend, is all.
Fraternity brother's bachelor party was excellent. Dropped the best man off at his house, only to find out it wasn't his house, then went to his house, only to find out he didn't have his keys. Another friend of ours came with the keys, then we didn't get to the alarm in time. Cue MPD. They arrive on the scene, go inside the house, then come out laughing after 90 seconds with the senior cop saying " I've seen a lot of things, but I've never gone inside a house and found the owner drunk on the toilet taking a shit." I'd say the night was a success. Now to pass out and reap a hang over after a fifth of Absolut Mandarin. Thank you strip clubs and the ability to brown bag it. With liquor, not your women.
Meanwhile, I'll be pubcrawling through Budapest tonight. The pubcrawl we found has promised "free unlimited shots", so as long as it's not those shots that aren't actually alcohol but 90% cordial, it should be a messy night. I've also heard rumours of bars being set up in apartment-like buildings. Sounds awesome
So what you're really trying to say is you had unprotected sex in a third world country. It's OK, you're in a safe place. We won't judge you. And good morning, my fellow cro-magnons. The best part of waking up buzzed is no hangover. Now where's the bacon?
I'd like to taste the rainbow. I ran out of bacon - so I'm going to make love to some sweet fluffy pancakes instead.
I made biscuits with grilled ham and about half a stick of butter in each one. I'm going to have a heart attack in about an hour, but damn they were good.
Dubyu Tee Eff has kindly pointed out that my username rhymes with google adsense bot. This is awkward.
I like to use my semen as lubricant and THEN put the condom on. It just makes things...smoother. You should totally do the same.
Holy hangover. I am convinced that the most effective possible combination to remedy the problem is 1) beer, 2) propel water, 3) spicy ramen noodles. Unfortunately, I have a opossum in the trap (there's an animal living in our walls, so I'm trapping) that I have to deal with. Those things are seriously ugly. Really, what purpose to opossums serve? What do they do for the environment? How are they not extinct at this point?
The Air Conditioning shit the bed last night and the heat woke me up at 2 AM. I sat on the edge of the bed sulking about hot fucking hot it was.