Get That Dog A Beer! WDT 7/22/11

Ahh, old photography. I always like the ones with dead people.



The little kid is dead.

 

WTF IS THAT SHIT?!?!

I shit you not the look on that kid just made the hairs on my neck and arms stand straight up.

Congratulations. That is far worse than any picture I posted in the last 2 weeks. Let's try and get that fucking thing buried in posts.

Edit: AGGGGHHH I keep scrolling up to look at it again

 

Its coming back. They blast on Jersey Shore in the clip.
http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/07/21/beavis-and-butthead-video/

 

Edited: I'm too stupid for words.

 

Heard a story about a nurse who developed a latex allergy over the course of her job. Latex is used so often in certain health care fields that latex allergy is becoming more and more common, and is apparently one of the top 3 causes of intra-operative anaphylaxis.

Anyways, back to the nurse with the latex allergy. She died having sex with her husband. Isn't that awesome?

In unrelated news my dad has informed me that I'm going to be giving him $11,000. What the hell is that shit about. Back story: he paid for tuition of my first year of university, and part way through I signed a really cool contract with a really cool employer that was going to pay for my education in exchange for providing some valuable and in-demand services. They even back-paid tuition from that year (i.e. I now had an entire year's worth of tuition sitting in my bank account that I otherwise wouldn't have had). If I had simply kept my mouth shut about that bit, he wouldn't have known. But today he had my tax return cheque and said "okay, it's $XXXX, and last year was $YYYY which they made out in my name for some reason. So 11,000 minus XXXX and YYYY leaves ZZZZ... so you can give me next year's and it'll be done with." I didn't even realize last year's tax return was in his name.

It's not the money per se that bothers me. My sister's going through university and is reliant on the parents so I don't really mind giving the money back if it helps them put her through school (not that he's mentioned that). It's that this hasn't been brought up before at all, and he's just said I'm going to be giving him more than any reasonable person would spend on an engagement ring. It's how he says, "for some reason they gave that tuition money back to you instead of me" as if somehow his name was on the contract, not mine, as though he had a valid legal (rather than moral) claim on the money. Also the smug grin on his face today when he was reminding me, as though I had somehow been getting away with something. And it makes me wonder how things would have turned out if I hadn't signed the contract and had to keep relying on my parents (and him paying 4 years of tuition, which rose more than $500 per year). Not to mention our relationship is not close by any means; we barely talk much, and any time there is much communication at all between us it's usually in the form of yelling. We had one such altercation a few weeks ago; he threw a temper tantrum and was acting a five year old, and I yelled back telling him to behave like a fucking adult (monkey see, monkey do, right?). He hasn't seen fit to apologize or otherwise recognize his behaviour was inappropriate. Hm.

In further unrelated news, I saw a black guy out with a hot redhead today and wondered why he wasn't fulfilling the stereotype. Oh well.

 

Pictures during that time were too expensive for people so they usually had them done when a family member died (mostly children). There are a ton of them and I have seen many originals.

I also learned that people used to commission paintings of their dead children before pictures where available. They would prop the dead kids up and paint them.

 

I haven't laughed at anything on this board as hard as I just did when I saw that picture and then read the "The kid is dead.".

Driest, most obvious shit ever. I'm in stitches. Okay, Curb Your Enthusiasm now.

 

I just remembered that I saw a bunch of really old and neat cars today. Also, a batmobile. Like, a legit Tim Burton fucking batmobile. What kind of over-grown and over-monied 8 year olds does this world contain?

Evidently the batmobile doesn't go very fast, as there was a lineup of cars behind it really wanting to pass.

 

i forgot to clarify this point, so you guys don't all rush out for a "routine look over". Yes, the majority of our patients are old men getting an annual prostate exam. We actually don't do STD's (except for genital warts), we send those to the health department. The younger guys are typically those with scrotal pain and the like, kidney stones (but I don't look at their genitals), some penile burning (which oddly enough mostly seems to occur after married men cheat and then become obsessed with their dicks even though all their STD tests come back as normal). I also see probably about 40% females. So there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about the life in the Urology NP world. For the physicians, it is highly surgical/procedural based so they spend at least 75% of their time doing that type of work.

Question, since alot of the guys seem to get freaked out when they realize I am female. Is that weird? Would you rather have a guy examining that part of you?

 

Anyone can prove me wrong, but I think they're scared of you. Either they're insecure about their meat and it's problems, getting a boner, or your scrutiny. Personally, I'd rather have a chick. No way in hell I can relax with some dude's catcher's mitt probing my tender nether regions.

God forbid I can't find a decent proctologist when I need my prostate checked. Probably end up with an Eastern European. Can't speak a word of English, smells like spoiled cabbage and open asshole, has fingers the size of eclairs. "Jah, vut iz dees lube you keep revuring too?"

 

Why do women see a urologist? Just curious.

The only time I've ever been to a urologist was when I got fixed. Male, female, it wouldn't have mattered one damn bit. It's so fucking clinical and cold you could have filled the room with supermodels and I wouldn't have blinked.

Funny side story, during that very much not fun procedure, I was lying back on the table and someone with a warped sense of humor (I'm looking at someone like you, mya.) had taped a piece of paper to the ceiling that said, "Smile, you're on candid camera."

 

You're an RN, right?

 

I was in this position once. Scrotal pain. Diagnosed as epididymitis. I saw two ER docs, both male, a male GP and had an ultrasound done by a blonde ultrasound tech student who was about my age being supervised by a 30-something male ultrasound tech. Honestly it didn't make a difference. I just wanted to not have pain in my scrotum. I suppose with the males it was less awkward. And thank fuck I didn't get an erection because that warm ultrasound gel felt good.

Also, mya, your boobs probably wouldn't help the situation. I mean I'm sure you're both perfectly competent and perfectly professional. And if that problem of mine came up again and I needed some medical attention and showed up in a clinic and you were there to examine me I wouldn't complain or ask to be seen by someone else because a guy in that position just wants to be told everything's okay and he doesn't have cancer or need to have emergency surgery to untwist his vas deferens. But, well, your boobs wouldn't help.

 

Seriously - I have really small fingers (btw Urologists are "in charge" of the prostate, not proctologists so this is what I do most of the day). I try to put people at ease when they are getting all freaked out about that by telling them fact, but only half of them seem to be comforted by that fact.

And I shouldn't exaggerate, some men are totally fine with it.

OK, back to talk of dead kids. Some people may find talks of rectal exams to be inappropriate in the WDT.

 

You have small fingers? Why didn't you say so? One of the finer pieces of advice I've been given by older gentlemen is to find a doc with small fingers for the prostate exam. And you're willing to do them at half price for board members, right?

 

Nonsense, rectal exams and dead children couldn't be a more appropriate topic for discussion for the WDT. In fact the only inappropriate topic for the WDT is the virtues of sobriety. Carry on.

 

Mostly for things like incontinence. There is also something called Interstitial Cystitis which is essentially the Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome of the urology world. They are fun. And of course, kidney stones.

and I agree about the cold and clinical thing. That is why I was wondering. I don't care if I have a pap by a male/female/whatever. Another interesting thing....when I get a gyno exam by a male, they always have a female in the room (I am assuming for self protection). Why is it not the same when it is reversed?

 

I have so many guys tell me that their last examiner had fingers like vienna sausages. Mine are like under a 5 in ring size (you wouldn't know what that is unless you have been engagement ring shopping, but small). See, I questioned going into urology but it seems like maybe I am built for it.