That's my preference as well, but I have learned that most people are the opposite and as a fucking Guardian I aim to please. That version of beer pong actually requires so much running you might as well go work out. But it can get exciting if you are competitive. As far as flip cup goes the best way to play is what we called Survivor. After each round the losing team has to vote one of their own off, but the number of cups remain the same. There is something Rocky-esque about watching one guy take on 8 cups all by himself for a few rounds....and then puke in the bushes.
What's the point of having a lawn if you can't be barefoot on it? And the bears are barefoot anyway. Duh. They prefer old chicken carcasses to scotch, though, so it's all good.
Getting ready to leave the office. Putting together tonight's checklist . . . [ ] Drink beer [ ] Watch baseball [ ] Have sex (not alone) [ ] Drink beer It won't necessarily have to be in that order, but that's the most likely. Ta ta.
What? One of my favorite (softcore) porn stars, Jordan Capri was arrested??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Ill rescue you my princess, Ill rescue you!!!!
Only good reason for drinking games is if winning means you get the other guy's beer. I never understood the mindset behind things like beer pong, where the penalty is you have to drink your beer quicker, before it goes flat and warm. Oh nooo! Or Bros Icing Bros. Uh...okay, it's super sweet, but whatever, thanks Bro. Can I suck your cock now? Do that a few more times and I'll be in a happy place while you just spent $10 on shitty booze you don't even get to drink.
49 degrees yesterday (120 F for you Americans). I stepped out for lunch for the sake of getting the hell out of the building. And also to experience the heat. You know, so I could actually say I felt the heat, rather than saying that it was hot outside while I was in an air conditioned building. A medic friend of mine, as part of her tour to Afghanistan, went to Camp Mirage. On stepping off the plane, she felt the heat and thought "hey, the turbines must still be on and are blasting heat at us". No, they were off. It was just that fucking hot. I stepped outside into the heat and thought that I must have had some appreciation of what that felt like. In any case. Steak on the grill, cold beer next to me. The girlfriend isn't coming over tonight though, so I'll have to satisfy myself with electronic titties. And to be frank, the girlfriend is Chinese so there wasn't much tit there to begin with. Sigh. Should I get a second motorcycle, or get her a boob job? Or maybe just a new girlfriend with bigger tits. That'll be easy.
Why would you get her a tit job? Just makes it easier for her to trade up. It's funny how a lot of the boob jobs I know about were paid for by "ex" boyfriends.
Yeah, but she seems to be under the misapprehension that I am attractive to other women and could find someone else easily, and does not hold the same opinion of herself. Apparently those tiger moms are good for instilling poor self-esteem.
I just watched two grown men eat raw bull testicles. I'm so turned on. Also - the local bars should ban me from happy hour.
I want you all to know how much my life sucks. I have to wear two sports bras to baseball, for fear that my tits will knock me out while I sprint. I'm sad. So, so sad.
On to beer #2. The steak turned out perfect. So perfect that I'll wait until tomorrow to eat it, and am eating some sirloin chuck hamburgers seasoned with montreal steak spice. Any ladies in the neighbourhood want to supply some tits? I've got burgers and steak and more booze than you can shake your tits at.
You're shameless... so, so shameless. Sounds like we need an TiBette animated gif contest of some sort.
Secondary question: exactly how co-ordinated is your sprinting going to be if you're as drunk as you say you are?