I think not having exes is not the red flag. You should be able to tell if someone is any of those three things within five minutes of meeting them. You wouldn't have to learn they didn't have exes to realize that they were some special brand of undateable crazy. Personally, I just saw no value in my youth in dating people, especially since all the examples around me looked akin to me spooning out my organs in front of me every day, pounding them with a tenderizer and then stuffing them back in my ribcage. It seemed more prudent to play Fallout and draw pictures of ponies all day, and accumulate empirical data about what a good relationship would be in order to execute a relationship at a time when I actually gave a shit about having one. Now it's all him cooking me dinner and me wearing corsets and toweling off his blowjobs with a warm towel and a cup of tea, which if I refer to Chapter 5, section B of my I Think This Is What Relationships Are Like handbook, means I am on the right path to not waking up from a blackout wondering how I got his severed head in my hand!
I disagree. A person without exes is scary under the following circumstances: You want an exclusive dating relationship. A person without exes is without them either: Semantics: meaning, they hang out with, only have sex with, and interact with another person but they don't 'label' it, and therefore when they no longer do those things, it's not really a break up, because there is 'no label' to remove; Or Substantive. Meaning, either no one wanted to be exclusive with him/her; or he/she did not want to be exclusive with anyone else. If you're looking for a committed relationship after the age of 20, then not having exes is a big red flag - under those circumstances. I'm not judging at all. At this point, if I'm ever single again, I'd never commit to a serious relationship. There would be no additional exes in my life. There would be women I hang out with and have sex with, and women I hang out with and don't have sex with. So I totally get why a person wouldn't have exes, and in fact, would do the same. However, for someone looking for a committed relationship in a traditional sense, those are pretty big red flags.
The reason it would be a red flag for me is that I would think I was missing something. How could I possibly meet some chick that I was totally into and wanted to be with that has never been in a relationship before? What did the other guys see that I did not that scared them away, or did she have a list of things she was looking for in guys that was to lofty for anyone to achieve? It would probably be better to date someone that had no exes in some respects because there are no preconceived notions as to what certain things mean and have not experienced betrayal and heartbreak, but on the other hand girls with their first boyfriends are for the most part fucking crazy. I would still be scared of a girl with no exes but I am very shallow. That being said, I am glad it is working for Roxanne.
I just ascribe to the Victorian notion of waiting until I found a man financially and socially worth engaging with in order to progress into a more serious commitment.
I don't give a shit about most of my exes. Some ended ok, some not so well, but it's all in the past and I'm over it. However, my most recent ex still likes to contact me randomly, usually to ask for things and then to tell me A) How great she is doing, B) Hates me for breaking up with her, C) Ask me for shit. I wish I could extricate her from my life, but I made the unfortunate decision to co-sign a loan with her while we were together, so we're loosely financially bound for the next 5 years or so.