Hallmark Holiday

The Minnesota Zoo is doing a similarly weird event.

 

Sooooooo, are you uhhh... going to watch animals... do it? They hand out night vision goggles to watch two lions fuck while that pederast narrates it all in a breathy whisper?

And who is the wine and cheese for? You expect to find a woman at this, or is it to loosen up a meerkat? Those prudes.

 

I have an aquarium with a mated pair of Bolivian Ram Cichlids. Not going to lie, it's pretty interesting when they fuck.

 

Here is the reason you can't hate on V-Day. Because when you participate in VDay and your girl participates with you, she is automatically opted in to Steak & BJ Day.

Then again, no fucking girl I've met in the real world has ever heard of this day, only the magic women of this board seem to be familiar with it. I'm starting an awareness campaign.

 

A valentine for all you lovely people.

 

Jesus, I can't go anywhere near Facebook today. Everyone is so mushy, love my pookie-pookums so much, retarded right now.

To even the score a bit, I just posted the "You give me the weirdest boner, Valentine" Community V-Day card from a couple pages back. Hopefully that shifts things a little bit.

 

Pics or you're a bad person.

 

Are you fucking kidding me.

 

I posted this in response to all the sucrose currently inducing vomit on my Facebook newsfeed. Seemed fitting:

Spoiler

They said I'd get tired of you, or that you'd quit on me... but here we still are, two and a half years later and going stronger than ever! Love you for ever babe xxxxx

 

I received a homemade Valentine in the mail today from audreymonroe. I win.

 

Since it's Valentine's Day and all.... I think I'll give my wife the "Flaming Amazon".

 

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you is that I don't hear any of my neighbors fucking tonight. I'd just like to catch a buzz and go to sleep. I don't care I don't have a date, I have one Saturday, but really I just don't want to hear any of the cows that live next to me mooing through the night.

 

She isn't automatically opted in. Awareness needs to be raised, and legally-binding contracts need to be drafted, including a clause that prevents said woman from renegging on said bj in the case of break up post-feb 14 pre-march 14. You get yours, I get mine. It's only fair. I greatly detest valentines day, as well as christmas, and new years, but I love my birthday 'cause fuck you, it's my day to celebrate me a little more than all the other days of the year I already do. easter's a lark, along with halloween. (Thanksgiving I also stand behind.)