Happy Cold Fold Festival (China) Drunk Thread

My friend has a 70". In a typical cookie-cutter 2 bedroom condo. In a small living room it's too much, especially since he has that monster cable and all the picture-enhancing doohickeys.

 

Here, a cabin is a shelter like a house, but with no operating fixtures like running electricity or water. Think Evil Dead. Cottages are like you say, lake houses- a second house only you drink and do drugs six times as much while staying in it.

 

We make be marketing slaves, but at least we don't have to lay on our sides to watch our vertical TV

 

This:


On this:


..the magnetic floating bed is a cool million, FYI.

 

Things I have heard in the last ten minutes:
"There's positive, negative and... Two fucking grounds?!"
"I lied, there's no ground... Or... Wait, three grounds? Fuck. No. No ground."
"The person who wired this house is an absolute squirrel rapist."
"Let's play a fun game called 'which part of the house does this breaker control?''

 

So this new pope has a master's degree in chemistry. That would be a much better plotline for Breaking Bad. Also, a much better venue for discussions of transubstantiation vs consubstantiation.

 

Wow. Normally I'm not too big on complaining about calls, but if I was Gary Marshall I would've just walked onto the court and decked that ref after the final whistle. How do you make a tie up call in that situation is beyond me. Plus of course CBS glosses over it completely because it's Ware and Pitino and the do it for Ware bs. Ridiculous.

 

Seems like a steal to me.

 

no hints

NSFW

 

I just played that very game only a couple days ago, putting in new porch lamps. I was hesitant to do it because the asshats who owned our house before us apparently allowed the house to be renovated by vandals. I called my dad for some last-minute advice, who is a master jack-of-all-trades.

Me: "So I should cut the power off at the breaker too?"
Dad: "Yes. You can't trust the people who wired it before you, and if they messed it up and you untwist that black wire on a metal stepladder, you'll wake up fifteen feet away from where you touched it. If you wake up."
Me: "I see."

So, our breaker box is completely unlabeled with fifty breakers on it. I know killing the master is the lazy way but I don't want to reset everything so it's one at a time. I turn the light on, go downstairs and my wife watches on her cellphone. She is NOT thrilled about me being around the fuse panel, because she's paranoid about hazards and it has aluminum wiring in it still:

Me: *click* "That it?"
Her: "Nope!"
Me: *click* "That it?*
Her: "Nope!"
Me: *click* "THAT it?"
Her: "Nope. If you stop talking, does that mean your dead?"
Me: ".....................................................................kidding."

DO NOT SELF-TEACH ELECTRICITY, KIDS. There's a lot you can actually learn from DIY tutorials, that is one you cannot. Putting lamps like that in is easy, but once you get into actual wiring you had better know exactly what you're doing, or you will be taking an involuntary flight on the best ride in the park.

 

Still gotta be better than lawyering, right?

 

Sales is being a stripper. You have all the other strippers plying for the customers, ready to backstab each other at a moment's notice for a few extra bucks, slathering lie upon lie on the customer to get their money while feeling utter contempt for them inside. And there's free table dances at 7pm.

Imagineers.

 

--nom

 

A music video. Knock me over with a feather.

 

Ah, Nitwit is back with his Youtube diatribe. Must be Saturday night.

Four light fixtures changed. Our floor is covered in plaster (because we have a shitty popcorn ceiling) and I am sporting two bandaids from "wounds gained in battle". But at least our lights don't look like they belong in a 70s porno anymore.

In other news, anyone want to buy some "gently enjoyed" lighting fixtures? They're... super stylish. Promise.

 

call your mother, maybe?

--nom

 

Popcorn stucco ceiling were invented by demons who hate hand flesh. Anybody that has had a playfight when mom & dad weren't home has a child has felt its wrath. It was a seventies thing, just like stucco rock-form walls (which looked as hideous as they sound) and high-pile wool shag. All three of those things are huge mistakes that should be dis-invented.

Getting rid of it makes a huge sloppy mess and is an aching pain-in-the-ass.

As far as retro goes, certain furniture and lamps are cool, but lighting fixtures are a no-no. They are only ever contemporary, like glass jewel living room chandeliers.


handled

 

a good breakfast is a great way to start the day

--nom

 

if it's cold out, wear a hat

--nom