"And then he got his penis chopped off and began shaving his legs. Then we adopted you. And that's how I met your mother". - How I hope that show ends. Probably the only thing that could get me to watch it. I get it, it's funny because a gay man in real life bangs lots of women on TV. hardy har har
Seinfeld was the same way. Whenever 22 minutes ended, Jerry the ugly buck-toothed mullet wearing Wrangler jeans sporting high-top sneaker rockin' sociopath would dump his way-out-of-his-league girlfriend like pouring a glass of water down the drain because he found the slightest imperfection in her. He had Sidra (Teri Hatcher in her Va-Va-Voom prime) and dumped her because her TITS WERE TOO PERFECT. Fucking bitch, she had it coming. This problem is in real life like on TV, though, and you see these people every time you leave your house. The challenge is to find no challenge, and there in lies the challenge. However, in the end you're just threading beads with no knot on the string, and next thing you know you're living in your parent's converted basement wondering what you did wrong (see: everything). People who want to be single their whole life is fine too, I'm sure it's fun to live a much more care-free lifestyle than others, but its an aquired taste. Knocking over relationships and the poeple that go with them like bowling pins over the slightest provocations doesn't mean you can't find the right person, it means that you're a selfish asshole and you have no accountability.
Sorry, I was a bit unclear. You definitely were not derogatory and I didn't mean to imply that you had been. Apologies.
When I first saw this thread I got all excited that you were all going to be talking about your "loves" and what not, and I was just gonna bust out and be all like "FUCK THIS THREAD". Then I saw that you were all talking about how soul mates don't exist and being smart. Then, I realized every person that has posted for two pages has said the same thing... So... FUCK THIS THREAD. Just wait until your woman goes on a cruise and "bonds" with the bartender.
I have no memory of a more one-sided thread in the history of this board OR the old board. It's actually kind of cool when we all play nice once in a while and share our lemonade and pogs. Maybe we can get Ballsack and WhatsInAName to hold hands (right.)!
Well I'm hung over, and usually don't post in the semi-serious threads, but I feel like playing a little devil's advocate, so here goes: I think there's some confusion as to what the term 'soul mate' actually describes. A few of you seem to think 'soul mate' means out of the movies-type perfection, and that soul mates don't ever fight or get annoyed with each other. Not sure if that's what the article defines it as, since I only read enough to see it was a stupid article, but I would submit that a soul mate is very possible, and even that there could be more than one for some people (it's not 'sole' mate). At the same time, I don't think soul mate-ness is required at all to have a healthy, loving, long-lasting relationship, it's just a more intense and outwardly obvious X-factor. I can think of at least five friends/relatives who are either recently married or currently engaged. In my single guy opinion, three couples are in love, one is making a mistake (all her friends agree/tell her) and one couple are soul mates. So why do I think they're soul mates? Well, and I say this quite seriously, it was obvious, after only a week, to everyone who knew them that they were going to get married and spend their lives together. I don't mean we all said "Oh, she met a good guy, they totally click." I mean we explicitly all agreed and stated, "Holy shit, were they ever meant to be together. I can't wait for the wedding." Obviously we don't know if they'll spend their entire lives together, but the wedding was a good time. I wouldn't say my parents are soul mates, but they have one of the best marriages I've ever known (unless they're REALLY good at faking it). My good friend's parents, though, are most definitely what I consider soul mates. This may be a weak argument, and it's probably the gayest thing I've ever written online, but you can see it in their eyes. My parents look at each other with love, I've seen his parents look at each other with need. And surely we've all heard of really old couples, where one gets sick, slowly and painfully passes away, and the other dies shortly after for no real reason? In some cases their hearts literally just stop. Didn't this happen with Johnny Cash and June Carter? Jus' sayin'. Really, I don't care, and I agree many people who spout things like this (fate, destiny) are being a bit silly. But like everything, relationships run the gamut from awful to amazing, and I've always thought soul mate just describes the latter, nothing more. Supernatural-ness doesn't have to play a part. Oh, and I wouldn't limit soul mate to couples, either. While my best friends would rightly punch me if I ever called them my soul mates, I literally could not imagine my life without them. I don't know of a better term to describe that.
It's a funny thing. When you're young, you have the luxury of naivety/stupidity, and you're more likely to believe you've found (or could find) your "soul mate". The older you get, the more jaded and much less tolerant you become when dating. Every time your sig other shows even the slightest amount of crazy, you throw up the red flag. When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I was in love with 2 women (not at the same time). I'm not sure I ever considered them to be soul mates, but I definitely overlooked some MAJOR relationship flaws due to inexperience and a happy-go-lucky attitude. I probably would have married both women, under the notion that we would just "figure things out as we went along", but one thing led to another, and for one reason or another, the relationships faded. I stayed single for a good part of my 20s. Hurt a few people, was hurt by a few people, set boundaries, crossed boundaries, grew suspicious, lost trust, became aggitated, and over time, felt less inclined to pursue relationships. Because of that, I eventually found myself setting guidelines and ideals that unfortunately were extremely difficult to satisfy, if not impossible. Just before I turned 30, I met a "perfect blend of woman" who tugged at my heart-strings from both ends. On one end, she makes me feel like I am 20-something again - excited to be figuring it all out and looking forward to what is to come. My emotional side has been "re-charged" so-to-speak, but with that comes disappointment at times. On the other end, we are both in our 30s and have been through a variety of relationships, good and bad, and bring a lot of maturity to the table that wasn't there when we were 20. It's kind of saccharin in a way, because a part of me knows that our relationship is not just bound by unconditional love for each other, but by practicalities and quirks and needs that we discovered about ourselves over the past 10 or so years. Getting older and falling in love is kind of like trying to believe in Santa Claus when you're 35 - no matter how hard you try, a part of you knows that it will never feel the same as it did when you were young and oblivious. I'm not sure if the "soul mate" theory holds water, but I do know that the older you get, the less likely you are to believe in it.
(laugh all you want. you're welcome to it) I met my wife at the bar I was a D.J. at (I know, eww.). I like her immedietly, and she liked me even more. I had been happily single for over four years, but I was happy to give it up. She was smart, she loved to dance, she had a realistic and non-religious outlook on life, she was fearless and she could drink as hard as I could while never whining about anything. She was the kind of girl that INSISTED you "go hang out with the guys" at least a couple nights a week. How could you NOT like that? I knew she was the "one" when I realized that for the first me in my life it was impossible to get this get this girl to second guess me or show jealousy in any way. I worked at a place where girlswere hiting on me on a 30-minute basis every single night and never drunkenly confronted me, never showed a dark concern of any time. That kind of trust and tolerance is such a fiery turn-on for me, as I have (seriously) never cheated in a realtionship and I think jealousy is the absolute lowest form of human weakness. There was no way I was letting that go.
Everyone's so much nicer than they were on the old board! Was that two apologies in a row?! See what happens when you let us Canadians take over? (And by "us" I mean Chater, Nettdata, and Supertramp... I would ruin everything if I was in charge.) FOCUS: No such thing as soul mates? Uhh, excuse me, has nobody here read Twilight?
I'm one of the most cynical people in the world. I don't trust people and always try to expose an agenda. Then I met my wife. Fast forward sappy love story. When people ask how I knew she was the one, I say it's the only relationship I've been in that gets better over time.
A lot of what goes into actually finding someone to love is just living life and striving to experience new things, which can lead to finding that special someone. I firmly believe that if you get out there, push aside any worries you have about failing at social interaction and turning the other cheek at rejection and drama, you'll eventually find a relationship that's worthwhile. Problem is though, that we have a lot of dreamers around that are waiting for things to come to them. I mean, yeah, it does happen, but it sure as hell isn't fuckin' likely. If you don't get off your ass, you'll either die alone, or you'll settle* for someone you don't really connect with. *The term "settle" is subjective, of course. Flak me all you want for dropping such a corny line, but you gotta live as if every day will be your last. I get shit all the time from my friends for settling down with my fiancee at age 24, but truth is that I can't imagine a better life as is, and I'm damn sure not gonna piss it away thinking that there are better women out there for me. I mean, I know that there are, but why spend what might amount to years searching when I can enjoy the now? Call it cynical, but I might get hit by a damned bus on the way to work tomorrow, or I might have a stroke while trying to pass a corn log the size of my right arm. I'm not going to piss away an opportunity when the risk far outweighs the gain. Happened with my grandfather not too long ago. My grandmother was stricken with flesh-eating disease, and couldn't handle the surgeries. My grandfather just couldn't handle, or even understand, what was going on, and after a few weeks of him just limping on and wandering aimlessly, my mother and I had found him in his bed, passed away in his sleep. If you'd watched the two together, they argued and bickered nearly every moment of every day. But when the end of each day came, you knew that one could not exist without the other. With that I say that soul-mates do exist, but it's certainly a thought that's hard to really fathom unless you've seen it up close. Truth be told, I think it only happens to certain people, the criteria of which is simply unknown.
I have been married for 13 years now. I've been in the Military for 15 so the fact that were still together in a miracle considering the average military marriage is just under three years. I assume we're in love but I don't know exactly what that is. Maybe it's fear. Maybe we found each other, decided we were too scared to be on our own so we got married and called it love. Maybe it's guilt. She went to a psychic and was told I was her slave in a past life and she tortured and killed me over a period of three days. Ever since then she has had this overwhelming need to take care of me. Maybe I hate doing housework and I like baing taken care of. Maybe were really in love. Who the fuck knows? Soulmates on the other hand, thats just stupid. There isnt just one person for everyone out there.
Yeah, I didn't want to bring up old people because no one cares about them (just kidding!) but I've personally witnessed several couples over 60 that I could easily identify as "soul mates." But were they always that way? I have a feeling that personality fusion happens over the course of 50+ years to two individuals who love each other and work hard at maintaining their relationship. Eventually, those two people become one in the sense that they share so many past experiences, memories, feelings, etc. that there are no differences left to create snags in their day-to-day life. Just a massive amount of shared life experiences. Add a healthy amount of love to that and I can easily see how their souls have "mated". And this is what I want. I don't want to look at someone from across a crowded train station and feel....something....that leads me to City Hall with them the following day. That shitshow might be fun for the lawyers that would get involved years later, but not me. I want to meet someone awesome and grow into being soul mates with that person over the course of 50+ years. I want to work towards that day when we're both old and wrinkly and we barely have to speak anymore because we can basically read each others minds....but we still hold hands when we go on walks in our white Ked sneakers and elastic-waist jogging suits. Fucking Christ, now I'm crying. Fuck these threads ALWAYS happen between the 17th-20th, and fuck me for listening to my uterus and looking at cute pictures of old people right now.
Oh, soulmates. If I never heard that word again, it'd be way too fucking soon. How did I know I'd marry Mr. Pink? I remember the exact moment I knew...March 2004, about two months after we started dating. We were on vacation at Disney, watching the orcas at Sea World. He made a remark that made me laugh hysterically about Moe on The Simpsons stealing the whale from Sea World. We had lunch at a place that had clownfish in fish tanks around the bar. He made a remark about Finding Nemo that made me laugh just as much. I thought "Fuck, if our life would be like this most of the time, I need to lock it up with this guy." We married two years later. And yes, the laughs have kept on coming, almost four years after we made it official. Of course, there's that whole non judgment about my mental illness and crazily dysfunctional family. That also helps a lot.
When I was 15, "God" told me that if I remained celibate and pure, I would find my soul mate at age 19. Well, I became disillusioned with "God", and the fact that he didn't want me to jack off. And, you know, I started to think for myself. Then I met, what I thought was my soul mate, at 19. I was military, she was Ameri-core (domestic version of the peace core). She fit me like a puzzle piece. But I went overseas for work, and shit just fell apart. God lied to me, I guess.
Actually, the article isn't trying to add credibility to the soulmate concept. Did you or anyone actually read the article? The first part uses statistics of dumbass young people and pop culture to get the point across that these people are actually wrong. The article actually reiterates a lot of what has been posted: I thought the list was bullshit at first until I read: I'll admit I clicked the article to read because I wanted something to laugh at too but unfortunately it's not exactly laughable. Fortunately, you want to laugh at these love concepts being posted on the internetz, you don't have to look far- Just start googling "how to get laid"...
God you are a bunch of jaded motherfuckers. If there's anything that's been analyzed to death anyway, it's this. I didn't read the article, but I browsed through this thread, and even people who are in happy, healthy relationships are going "gaar fucking soul mate!!!" Who cares if you call it a soul mate? Call it bum buddies if you have such a hangup about that word, it's the same thing - you found someone who's right for you. Like so many people are saying here, it all comes down to living in the moment. If you analyze this shit to death, examining every minutiae of this person and whether she's the one, you'll probably tear the whole thing apart. I would know, I've been there (but that's all I've been before, so I should probably shut up now).
Calling someone your bum buddy because you happen to be a good match for each other is a far cry from calling someone your soul mate because of a irrational and unsupported supernatural claim that they are the only person out of the billions of people who have ever existed that is "right" for you. Conveniently, that one person of billions happens to exist at the same time, speaks the same language, and lives in the same area as you. You clearly haven't read the article, because it discusses a "soul mate" in the context of metaphysical destiny. For some reason, love and sex remain one of the few vestiges of secular society that are still chock full of irrational myths. The ideas of a "soul mate", "The One", or your first time being special, or how waiting until marriage to have sex is a sign of virtue are all horseshit, and every single one of them is perpetuated in movies from Disney flicks to fucking 40 Year Old Virgin.