He died saving women, children and kittens from Nazis...

Worst way to go would be buried alive. You panic, then struggle, to no avail. Depending on if you are in a container or not would determine how long you have to think about it.

If I could choose a way- I'd be jumping out of a plane. Enjoy the scenery and adrenaline until impact.

 

Good call. My terminal illness contingency has always been a chartered helicopter over the Grand Canyon at dawn. As the sun peeks over the horizon, I fling the door open and leap into the abyss, sans parachute. It'd be the ride of a lifetime followed by a presumably quick and painless demise.

 

They had a news story on earlier about a guy who was electrocuted while stealing copper cable. Hilarious. You'd think the idiot would try to turn the power off, but no. I bet that smell will linger for a few days... They had an image of his legs - his shoes had melted. We really do have a special brand of idiots and criminals in South Africa.

If I get a terminal illness, I'm going out one way: lethal heroin or morphine overdose. Might as well enjoy my death chasing the dragon, right?

 

I always wanted it to be slow and painful. Seriously. I've always pictured myself getting stabbed and dying over a period of an hour to two. I want to feel it. I want to embrace the pain, and to go out with a clenched fist. None of this "quietly" shit. I wanna go out screaming.
I also want enough time to call all the people I love and let them know that I still love them. And then I'm gonna call all the people that I hate and let them know that on my deathbed, during my final minutes, that I still fucking hate them.

The funeral: My friends and the Fiance already have the detailed instructions.
Find the nearest body of water. I don't care if its a fucking pond, or a lake, or a freshwater estuary. Build a large raft. Put my dead carcass on the raft and soak with gasoline. Then dump fireworks, and other assorted incendiary devices on it and push it out into the body of water. Then someone, and I don't care who, but someone, shoot a flaming arrow into my body. As soon as the arrow is loosed from the bow, the party starts. Drinking is mandatory. And so is the Rammstein.
Everyone drinks and party's like dead rockstars until the last flicker of flame succombs to the watery depth.

 

One of my favorite hobbies is skydiving, where you can become a human Jackson Pollock painting if something goes wrong is a very real possibility.

If the Almighty hits the "smite" button when I'm skydiving, I have decided I'm going to take off a shoe and shove it up my butt and the FAA will have to figure out how it got there. Second, I'm going to break 200 mph, and aim for someone's car.

I'm so going to hell.

 

Where would you find a room full of terrorists and child molesters? I mean maybe if BOTH groups' annual conventions were at the same Four Seasons on the same weekend, but what are the odds of that?

Focus: I just don't want to get tortured. I guess nobody does, but whenever I see a movie where a guy gets tortured, I cringe. Getting beaten or stabbed or whatever is one thing, but electricity to the balls is a WHOLE other story. And I don't care how much of a badass secret agent you are, if somebody threatens to cut off your eyelids, you're going to piss yourself. Oh wait, you can't piss yourself because your GENITALS HAVE BEEN MELTED SHUT WITH JUMPER CABLES!!!

No thank you.

 

Sexual Exhaustion.

 

If you weren't such a vagina you could one-inch-punch your way to freedom like The Bride in Kill Bill.

 

Fuck that. While I understand the fantasy of killing a woman through sheer sexual pleasure, it's decidedly unattractive to me. The reason why is that my very first girlfriend had some pretty serious medical history, and had a cerebral shunt to help things along for her. I won't go into major details, simply because I was too young and didn't give enough of a shit to learn/understand what was going on anyways, but the point is that she'd gotten quite sick a few times while we were dating, and had even been hospitalized once.

Anyways, we fucked like bunnies as often as we could, being only teenagers and all, and this girl could cum like no other. She could actually do it on command sometimes, and was averaging an orgasm every couple minutes. I'd like to think it was my own sexual technique, and actually did think that until we'd split and I'd been with other women, but have since realized that I probably didn't have jack and shit to do with it. Anyways, one night we were going at it hammer and tong and she was just blasting off left and right. I wanted to go for the record and after a dozen rolling orgasms she actually blacked out and went limp.

I'm not going to lie. I panicked and started yelling at her to wake up, and was frantically checking her pulse and making sure she was still breathing. I'd actually thought I'd killed her and that her medical issues had had something to do with it, and I couldn't think for the life of me what the fuck I was going to tell the paramedics I was about to call, not to mention her parents. Luckily, she woke up after a few minutes and my fears were allayed, but I was so badly shaken I couldn't stop thinking about it for days.

But enough of that. Moving along:

FOCUS: Being eaten by a flaming zombie. 'Nuff said.

ALT. FOCUS: "Player One: Game Over"

 

The Tudors is great, lol. But how hideous was it watching the last execution of season 3?

Spoiler

The one where Thomas Cromwell is supposed to be beheaded but ends up hacked to ribbons by the drunk executioner

Sickening. I put the TV on mute the second I realised what was about to happen. Chicken shit, I know, but it was hard enough watching it without having to listen to it.