Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Here mom, I got you a bowling ball! With my name on it!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Sherwood, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. DrinksOnTheHouse

    DrinksOnTheHouse
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    95
    Location:
    We don't smoke that shit in the SFC
    A possible better bet is to do Sirius on the Internet. I think it costs an extra few bucks a month to get the Internet account (used to come free with a regular subscription) and then you don't need to buy a new receiver and be tied down to that. You could pay for 1 or 2 years on that. This assumes she has a computer attached to a stereo or decent speakers (although if you really want to go all out, you can get her a netbook and the Internet subscription and she can have a portable Sirius player plus look at all the pics that The Villiage Idiot is sending her and it probably doesn't cost more than buying a stand-alone receiver and one-year subscription through that).

    Yep, a pearl necklace is a much better bet and free for you (bu-dump).
     
  2. JGold

    JGold
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    518
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Eh. I didn't think it was that much of a stretch. She got me 40-yard line tickets to the Panthers-Patriots game this past weekend; I'm a Panthers fan and hadn't seen them in person since I moved away from North Carolina two years ago. She paid for all my beer and food, drove, and gave me roadhead while we were stuck in traffic on the way home.

    Fuck me if she didn't deserve something nice in return.

    Also, keep in mind I used the adjectives "simple" and "on sale." It wasn't that pricey.
     
  3. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    98
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    938
    Location:
    NC
    My family (Mom, Dad, Brother & me) go way fucking overboard on Christmas. Like 10 - 15 gifts a piece.

    This is the list so far...

    The parents: new surround sound system for the living room

    Mom: a new set of speakers for her computer, some clothes (a few pairs of cute knee socks, some leggings, basic long sleeve knit shirts), some good hair products, boots and jewelry (a silver prayer box charm & garnet earrings).

    Dad: a telescope, some jeans, new business cards, a new orbital sander & LL Bean River Driver shirts.
     
  4. Samr

    Samr
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    934
    Amazing Clubs.com is always a go-to. It's the gift that keeps on giving (and I'm not talking about herpes).

    I'm also a big fan of getting personalized gifts. I guess people assume that personalization = expensive, and that's just not true.

    Try After5Catalog for the alcoholic in your family (I got my sister some personalized drink coasters for her birthday).

    InkGene is good if you want to customize household items: blankets, cutting boards, mugs, cooking aprons, pillows, bath robes, towels, you name it. This Christmas I'm getting my overly-attached-to-her-dog fiance a blanket with the dog's picture on it.

    This place will take a picture and turn it into a painting, for pretty cheap. This year I got my parents a portrait of them, from these guys. It was worth every penny.


    Also, don't forget the wrapping. I HATE wrapping gifts, at least with just wrapping paper; I think it's pointless and a waste of time and paper. For this reason, I boycott the standard gift-wrapping procedures. If I'm wrapping the present, I'm going to make it worth my while.

    For her birthday I wrapped my fiance's present in so much tape, cardboard, ribbon, newspaper, and string (should have added some wire) that it took her 15 minutes with a pair of scissors just to get to the present. Now THAT was worth my effort to wrap it. I've also done the "cute" thing, and done what I'd recommend to others: personalize the paper. Put pictures of you and the person all around the box. Write on the plane box in marker the reasons why you appreciate the person who's receiving the gift. Hell, take the ribbon and hot glue penis outlines all over the damn thing, whatever floats your boat.

    Or, you could just go the easy route and go to PicturePaper.com and put a picture in the wrapping paper.
     
  5. miss_c

    miss_c
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    66
    I like giving presents to go and do things. Like someone suggested before, vouchers for a day spa, theatre tickets or something.

    This year my Mum and Dad are getting movie vouchers that they can go and catch a couple of films and get some stuff from the candy bar. Since they've both retired they go to the movie about once a week so it will come in handy.

    That's as far ahead as I have thought for Christmas shopping. I'm dreading the shopping mall though.

    However, Australia has just discovered the wonder of 24 hour shopping and the Kmart in my town is open all night. I'm thinking if I can't buy it from Kmart at 2.30 in the morning, they're not getting it for Christmas!!
     
  6. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    98
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    938
    Location:
    NC
    Dude, I don't consider $50+ inexpensive when I can cover up with a regular blanket and have my dog cuddle up next to me for free.

    I do agree, however, with the personalization concept though. It's usually really cheap to have things monogrammed or engraved.

    A friend of mine also sells UppercaseLiving. They have some really cool things and you can put them on just about anything around the house. I'm having my best friends kids names done for her for Christmas (at around $6 apiece). You can create custom stuff or choose from what they have put together. You can search for a local seller & there is a great sale on right now too.
     
  7. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
    Expand Collapse
    Porn Worthy, Bitches

    Reputation:
    274
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Messages:
    3,267
    Location:
    Where angels never dare
    Look, I'm not casting aspersions on your girl, far from it. That's a very nice thing she did.*

    I hear you, but what you need to keep in mind is that it's the perception of the value of the gift, not the actual price of the gift that I'm talking about. I don't care if you pried that necklace from the cold dead hands of a hooker you just killed in the alley behind your apartment. Hell, you could even tell her that's where you got it, and the point remains the same. People are Chocolate Covered Bastards with Bastard Filling and suffer from an acute, and incurable, case of the 'What Have You Done for Me Lately's.' Myself very much included in that assessment, by the way.

    Think of it this way. You're 10 years old and your parents buy you a PS3 for Christmas. You'll probably think that's the coolest gift ever (and it might be, short of a midget hooker, but they're really hard to find, just ask me). Now, they may have got it because your dad won it in a poker game from a kid with Down's, but you're not going to care.

    Lets fastforward to next Christmas. In your head (as much as you wish you weren't) you'll be thinking 'holy shit, I got a PS3 last year, what am I going to get this year? You'll be all excited, as only optimistic and delusional folks are, and you'll rush down to the tree. Or the bush. Jewish folks put the gifts under that burning bush thing, right? Doesn't matter. Anyway. You find the gift with your name on it. The anticipation running high as your slightly shaky hand begins to peel away the wrapper. Is it keys to a car? A gift card for a new guitar? A lifetime subscription to the Bunny Ranch?

    Hope.

    You see the 'H' on the package and realize that it's the first letter of 'Haines.' That's right. Socks and Underwear. Now, tell me truly, are you disappointed? Of course you are. But that's my point. By giving a nice gift, you are upsetting the natural balance of life. Yes, yes, you are. The natural balance of life is that you are going to be disappointed. What you can control is the level of disappointment you inspire. Hence, start low. Real low. If you don't set the bar low now, you will forever be fucking yourself.

    Ditch the diamonds, and pick up the Colonel's Bucket. You'll thank me later.

    *Although the Chocolate Covered Bastard part of my brain is screaming 'Danger, Danger, we have a stage 5 clinger alert. All hands abandon ship. But I'm sure this is purely due to my long and storied history of dating women crazier than Courtney Love. But I digress.
     
  8. Disgustipated

    Disgustipated
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    969
    Location:
    Gold Coast, Australia
    We do a Christmas lottery in the family, this year I crashed in drawing both my mother and father.

    Dad's relatively easy. He's getting a yearly handgun digest that I'll probably steal back at some stage.

    Mum's more difficult, so I'm getting her a gift basket of smelly, girly stuff and a vibrating back pillow.


    My brother got me and has decided to buy me the five cubic metres of woodchip I need for the back garden, and will help me spread it. Awesome present. We're an intensely practical family.
     
  9. Natty

    Natty
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    343
    My wife is a school teacher. She just spent $200 in gifts and stocking-stuffers for a group of under-privileged siblings associated with her school. She's going to take a picture of the gifts and stockings she purchased, wrapped, and stuffed...and personalize it onto a card for her mother. TA-DA!

    Nothing much I can say, other than that I'm a horrible person.
     
  10. Roundhouse

    Roundhouse
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    46
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    My mother goes through a gargantuan amount of hand cream, shampoo, body wash, and other scented bathroom thingies. The ones she likes the most, she never buys, due to the price and difficulty to acquire considering her free time away from work is made taken up by the weekly food shop, cleaning the house and then resting. In addition, I have no idea which of these products she prefers. My sister though, has a detailed comprehension of bathroom care products my mother would like. What I'm most grateful for, is my sister's position in the buying office for the beauty section from a department store chain. Now I have an easy link into finding the right product, where to find it, and at what cost.

    With the help of a list put together from my sister and instructions on where to find these products, I was able to put together a gift package of hand cream, body wash, face moisturizer and other small bottles of peculiar lotions. Not forgetting the assistance of the charming young girl from the beauty department under instructions from the elder sister to, "Make sure he gets the right lines".

    In summery, skin care products. Although I must stress it depends on the person. I gave a similar gift to a former partner for her birthday last year, she took the gift as an insult, believing I thought she smelled awful. I now mostly give books as gifts.
     
  11. Sicnevol

    Sicnevol
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    290
    Location:
    Hell
    I try and get interesting yet practical gifts.
    Mom got a TomTom GPS that I found refurbished from Sears.
    Step-Dad got new house phones and some cigars.
    Little Brother got CODMW2 Prestige edition. ( That was X-mas AND Birthday)
    Older Brother got some Harley Performance riding sunglasses.

    I don't usually buy gifts for other people.
     
  12. breakylegg

    breakylegg
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    221
    Location:
    The Devil's Elevator
    I dated this girl who was a genius at finding presents. Once she nearly gave me coronary by screaming "STOP!" as I was driving about 60mph down a quiet country road. She hopped out and came back to the car grinning and holding a polo shirt with puke all over it. Later she washed and wrapped it up: Merry Xmas, Dad!
     
  13. SaintBastard

    SaintBastard
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    293
    Location:
    Dirty South
    We have a fairly sizable sports betting pool between a few friends and one lucky fuck has called maybe sixty percent of the games. I just got an email from the cocky little shit this morning describing what he was going to get everyone for Christmas with all the money he was going to win from us.

    A few highlights:
    Edible painties for [Sports Guy 1]'s sister
    Kneepads for [Sports Guy 2]
    A Chinese finger trap for [Sports Guy 3] so he can keep his fingers out of his ass

    Focus: Liquor for the guys in the family. DVD and books for the women/kids.
     
  14. Trakiel

    Trakiel
    Expand Collapse
    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

    Reputation:
    245
    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2009
    Messages:
    3,167
    Location:
    St. Paul, MN
    I bought my mom (and her husband) a TV for Christmas this year to replace the old CRT she's had for 15 years. Last year I got her an iPod, and the year before a DvD player. Hopefully her old stereo starts to go so next Christmas I'll know what to get, because I'm running out of electronics to get for her.
     
  15. Best_Name_Ever

    Best_Name_Ever
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2009
    Messages:
    24
    I bought my dad Transformers one and two, a new pocket knife, and a Carson Palmer jersey. I bought my mom four candles, an apple cinnamon diffuser, and a digital camera. I bought both of them a gift card to Ace Hardware, I bought my brother some hand and feet warmers, I bought everyone else my love.