The cops are hating my mom. She's had a few drinks, and a float has broken-down, and we're all wondering where the hell the parade is. "Ma'am, please step behind the barricade. " "where the hell is the parade?!" "ma'am... Please..."
I'm feeling the need to get loud tonight. Heading out with a hot zipper head tank driver and the pregame is already on, to the tune of half a bottle of vodka. Let the drunken smushing begin! Blue Dog, you're fuckin adorable. Grats!!
You're missing out. It gives me an excuse to make my one trip in a vehicle today a short jog to the booze store to stock up. More cheap dark beer! Another couple months of malty goodness for $13 a case!
I woke up this morning bruised and bloody on someone else's couch, not wearing any pants. Apparently I fell over last night, often. I have cuts all over my body. Four Loko is the devil.
I'm going to buy a few cases in the next couple of weeks. Eventually, it's going to be illegal, and then I'm a one-man black market.
I, through a weird series of events, find myself with a free 30-pack of Busch Light. I'm pissed and ecstatic at the same time. I've had like eight already and hardly have a buzz; I forgot how weak this shit is. Time to get to work.
Right the fuck on!! 1 Loko is ok, you can maintain. 2 Loko you start to get pretty sloppy. 3 Loko it's all over, but the caffeine buzz keeps you alive. By the time you hit 4 Loko you see everything in hyper-reality, where the hummingbird's wings are in slow motion. In reality you're slurring your words and your dick is hanging out, but you think everything is OK. If anyone ever hits 5 Loko they won't need to be embalmed. In fact it'll be like The Green Mile where De LaCroix gets barbecued and they have to cool off his corpse for a day. Apparently 4 Loko is about to be banned in Washington state. Best marketing ever. I made beer tonight. A turkey fryer is the best microbrew system ever. While making beer my buddy and I drank a 12 pack and then some. Sam Adams winter something or other ain't bad. Got all sorts of spices in it n' shit.
I'm stuck inside all weekend with finals next week... I don't usually smoke pot but I'm in the studio watching Planet Earth and eating Pop-tarts after splitting a bowl with two of other guys here. So much for studying.
And he sadin onto to her: "Mo fucka?" "si, padre!" "and let there be mother crapping LIGHT!" Seriosly, if you have never heard this asshole, then you need tp stopp shitting. Weddings are jst one ginant pile of Butt filled fingers, "The Fourth Kind" is a terrible movie, and as of right now, I will offially judge every one that liket it. Padre Pio? More lke a interview with a bunch if pubes! Like, genital pubes! LA FLAMA BLANKA!
Blerg so same old shit tonight, no matter where I went. Oh well. But in good news, my roommate FINALLY made out with this one chick that I've wanted him to get with for FOREVER because they are honestly perfect for each other and if it happens and goes somewhere will be adorable and I hope so a lot, so that makes me happy lots.
What is it about Edmonton? Everyone who lives there winds up posting something like this at least once a month.