Hi, I'd like you to meet my son. His name is Blayde.

It isn't just the pretentiousness, but the fact that people seem to be trying to make their child unique from the get go to make up for their own averageness.

In any case, a family name that I had always liked was Fiona. However that was ruined by:

Spoiler

 

For what it's worth "Michael" means "one who is like God."

 

Based on this discussion, haven't we come close to full-circle with child names? I would expect a year from now, when the wave of Braydens, Kaydens, Jaydens, Aidans, and Zaydens have passed that it will be time to go back to Ed, Bill, Bob, John and Jim. Isn't this the same things that is said about conformity: I'm unique or different, just like everyone else?

Personally, I am a Ryan. When I was a child the name was so popular it wasn't uncommon to be 1 of 3 Ryans in a classroom. For that reason, I can appreciate the need to be a little unique but some of these names are getting ridiculous. If this keeps up we'll be seeing Tylenol and Frito-lay become the name of the day just like in Idiocracy.

 

I just can't find anything wrong with Isla.

 

I had to do a double-take I first saw the name Dcc posted because I thought she spelled it Ilsa, which immediately made me think of this:

 

Funny aside, I have a friend named Cale (pronounced kale) and people CONSTANTLY mispronounce his name as Kal or Kalee. It boggles my mind, it's one syllable and you just heard him say it, how are you fucking this up?

Also, I don't know how this happens, but on the phone a lot of people think I'm saying my name is Trent. I have no idea how you get Trent from Francis but a lot of people do it so it must be how I say it. And I don't know if this is a Connecticut thing or what, but I've been to a few appointments where the person was confused why I was a man and not a woman, even though Francis is the male spelling of the name. That never happened to me before I moved here.

 

I feel for people with the last name Kuntz. Most of us know how to pronounce it, but just looking at it, what's the pronunciation that comes to mind?

The Cleveland Indians had an announcer, Mudcat Grant, a former pitcher, who had this little on air adventure with the name:

 

Well, it's Cumberbatch, but yeah.

Look, parents, just name your kids Jonathan Andrew Smith or Jennifer Anne Olson and let them create cool, pretentious or outrageous names on the internet when they sign up for messageboards. You know, something really out there - like Charles Johnson.

 

I'm going to name my son Perseus. And the way I am going to do this is by first suggesting to my wife that we name him "Hulk Smash". At that point, she'll gladly accept Perseus (and if she's cool with Hulk Smash, well, that just makes her all the more awesome).

I was recently asked by an Ethiopian ladyfriend of mine to help name her first son, and it didn't matter if the name was Ethiopian or Western. I looked up some Ethiopian names (and their meanings), and there are some humdingers in that culture:

Nyala: rare mountain goat

Sarsa Dengei: penetration by osmosis

Totit: female monkey

Yeshi Emebet: mistress of a thousand people

(I suggested Ras - the Amharic equivalent of "Duke").

When I was a rent-a-cop I had to fingerprint new-hires for the client, and I saw some names come through there I wish I could say I made up. The two I remember best were Dustin Pancake and Princess Fair.

 

That'll make him "Percy". Are you certain you want to do this?

 

So, you clearly have a white bread last name.

 

Well I'm temporarily working in a new office and today was my first day. I answered three questions as to whether or not I was Italian, at least twice was asked how to pronounce it, and had to spell it a few times over the phone. Trust me, it isn't the rate limiting factor in my life.

To be fair my first name is quite conventional and biblical. I hate "unique" names with a passion. But the inconvenience factor isn't why.

 

Yep.

My last name is Bottini. I don't think it's very difficult to pronounce - bow (as in archery, not Japan) -tee-knee. I've gotten everything from Bootineenee to Bah-Tony to Bottney. Friends and coworkers just call me Booty.

As a result, I'm asked repeatedly if I'm Italian and am forced to spell it every time I say my name on the phone.

 

I have fair normal first a middle names

Raymond(Mom's brothers first name) James(Dad's brothers first name) [Last Name].

My last name is only 5 letters, is of German decent, i would call it unique(as far as i know, it is just dad's brother, dad's brother adopted son, dad, me, by brother with this last name in Canada) but not that hard to pronounce, i have only met one person that could pronounce it right without knowing the family first.

When me and the wife have a kid, my only restriction on naming him/her will be that it not start with and S, because pretty much her entire generation on her side of the family have names that start with S.

 

My boss changed her name yesterday to Fae Raine-Boh. As in rainbow, but with the added stupidity of a hyphen and incorrect spelling. Your move TiB.

 

At my internship the mail lady is named Princess. The first day at work my boss is like "princess! Good morning how are you Princess?" Before turning to me and going "before you say anything I'm not being an asshole. That really is her name."

 

Oh, I completely forgot about this. I knew a kid named "D'Elegance" shocker he turned out gayer than 9 guys fucking 8 guys, and one getting a reach around. Met another guy named Brilliance, he was straight, wanted to play football, but of course he was 5 feet tall with zero muscles.