I am glad that when I eventually have daughters all I'll have to say to them is if you want to be rich and never work, all you have to do is get knocked up at 16 and then film a "sextape" with James Deen and have it "leaked". Oh yeah then say "fuck that pussy" over and over, and end each sentence with baby. <a class="postlink" href="http://gawker.com/heres-the-first-clip-from-farrah-abrahams-sex-tape-493130311" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://gawker.com/heres-the-first-clip- ... -493130311</a> Now where is the nearest bell tower? Fuck is wrong with this country?
Obviously those guys aren't real Americans and that's why we need a fence. At least that's the word on the street.
America is not exclusively congested with the demographic I call Waffle Housers. They give it a bad name. That's the stereotype Americans are given outside their country.
My IT Guy saga continues. He left a thumb drive in my computer today containing his resume and a scan of one of his paychecks. This guy really sucks. But at least he isn't being well to suck.
America's funny like that. Generally speaking, the coolest people you meet from any given country are the ones you meet when outside that country (I have noticed this to be particularly true of the French). Americans, though? Go to the States and the people are just fine. Sometimes they're downright cool. Go to some tourist destination abroad and oh my god that's where the terrible stereotype of Americans came from (for some reason, particularly true in France). You guys need to be much more selective about who you issue passports to. Seriously.
I have gotten along with literally anybody I've had a conversation with in the States. Maybe its lucky. But I've met met people and couples from California to Alabama and they were all cool. I note people in the States blissfully try to steer conversations away from politics. The only place that seemed to rub me the wrong way was Kentucky. Now THERE is a state with a large collection of Waffle Housers. Seemed to be some real, old-fashioned homophobic rage in that state. My friend Chris has lived in varous towns across Florida since 1991. He's even developed a thin drawl accent from it, but it's hilarious when he describes the Thin Red Lines in Florida: "There are Six Groups: 1) Rich old people 2) Angry Racist Rednecks aka "Daytonas" 3) Retired Old People 4) Typical Florida Norm 5) "Those Florida People" 6) Miami Asshole Scum ...I never know what "Those Florida People" are, and he says he sees them teaching ten-year-olds to fire crossbows in suburban backyards and throwing beer cans at cars passing by. They seem like rednecks but they're even louder and dumber but don't dress like them. They act like absolute ignorant inbred apes, they're known as "Florida People" or "Those People". I dunno. I never had an issue with people in Florida to date, but I haven't been in the "Redneck Zones" or those places with snakes the size telephone poles.
I won't agree with this 100%, but it's weird that people (country of origin not relevant) are significantly more annoying whilst on holiday (stress free, relaxed etc), compared to being at home (stressing, working etc).
Well, it kind of makes sense when you consider that people often travel in large groups, especially families. And for some people I'm sure it works but I can't see an extended family in a reasonably large group being able to travel through foreign countries for weeks on end without stress boiling over. All those little things that don't bother you too much when travelling alone (getting lost, jet lag, sleep deprivation, long waits in train stations / airports) get infinitely worse when you're travelling with someone else, especially when kids are involved. And part of it has to do with the fact that some locations attract different kinds of people. Cancun attracts drunk spring breakers, for example, Thailand attracts sketchy pedophiles, Oktoberfest attracts boatloads of Australians, and (I found) Paris attracts people without much imagination because they seem to think it's more like Disneyland than it is an actual city. But not all the tourists, or even Americans there, were like that. And to bring it back to the subject of families, I saw far more people - Americans particularly - travelling with family and young children in Paris than anywhere else, which probably explains a lot. Look, I know some Americans here love getting all hurt when anything that's less than effusive praise and thanks for your mere existence is expressed. But if you actually read what I wrote closely... I said that, going to the States, you generally find Americans to be an agreeable bunch, even if some of the ones I've met abroad haven't been so much. And when you go to France, you find that they aren't such an agreeable bunch, even if the majority of French people I've met outside of France have been very agreeable. I mean, holy fuck, I said something bad about the French and nice about the majority of Americans and you're still upset.
It's still half a decent sex tape for a celebrity. Whats up with her booty hole though? With the looks of it Im surprised the bitch got pregnant in the first place. One part of me says, well fuck that's more money than most average people make in a lifetime for maybe a couple days work. One part says she'll blow through it and still be destitute by her late 20's. Knowing celebrity culture she'll make 40 millions year for two or three years and laugh it all the way to the bank.
You didn't actually pay money to watch the whole thing did you? Because it would completely change my opinion of you. Not that you care. But still.
This reminds me of a story when I was 19...a couple of friends and I went to a bar where they let underage kids drink, and I hit it off with some chick and got her number. Afterwards my friends and I went back to the apartment we shared and drank some more. I went to the bathroom, leaving my phone on the table. While I was in the bathroom, my roommate grabs my phone and starts sending extremely fucked up texts to the girl in question, then deletes my text history(I later found out it was charming little gems such as "DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK TO ME AGAIN TO STUPID CUNT! I'LL FUCKING STAB YOU!"...and that was the nicest of the bunch). My roommate doesn't say a word about this to me. A few days later I call her up to see if she wanted to get a coffee/drink, and it went something like this: Me: Hi, I'm Dieformetal, the guy you met at--- Her: I KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE!! IF YOU FUCKING CALL ME AGAIN I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!!! Me: ........ Me: (After stuttering a bit) Umm...I think you might think I'm someone el-- Her: LOSE THIS FUCKING NUMBER CREEP! ::girl hangs up:: I spent about 15 minutes just staring at my phone trying to figure out what the hell happened. When my roommate asked "Whatever happened to [girl], man, she was pretty hot" with a HUGE grin on his face he I realized something was up, and he later folded under questioning. Asshole.
Once in college I was epically pissed at a former friend so I put an ad for in him in the gay section of Craigslist with his number. That was fun. Btw, what your friend did to you isn't funny, that grounds for a real honest to God hurting someone ass kicking.
Eh, we were stupid kids. If it were someone I actually knew/cared about it would have been different, but we all pulled moronic shit on each other all the time(I can't remember anything I did that was THAT bad, though).
Well, I moved to NC(this was in NY) shortly after this, so my options were kind of limited. I ended up making a couple thousand "business cards" about him. I can't find one now(assuming I still have one lying around, this was many years ago), so I'll just have to describe it: It had a smiling 1950s guy on it, and underneath was his name, and the job title "Erotic Yard Work." His real phone number was in the upper right corner, the upper left guaranteed "free estimates" and the bottom corners had things like "Complete service" and "Strong Muscular" and "Willing Able" along with the whole "Long Hours, No Job Too Big, No Job Too Small" thing. I then put them up everywhere both in NY when I visited, and down in NC. He called me up saying something like "Some bitch in Canton just called me and asked if I wear a thong when I'm mowing, and something told me you were somehow involved." I denied everything.