I just went and visited my aunt in the hospital. She was convinced that I was my father who died 6 1/2 years ago. I think I'll just sit here and get shit faced.
My mom just called and told me she wants to meet the boyfriend's parents. To be clear, we have dated for damn near a decade without our moms meeting. I fear this union. My mom is outspoken, old school Chinese, judgmental. His mom is outspoken, East Coast, semi-alcoholic. This will not go well. toytoy - whatever you're drinking, pour me a double.
Really? It's fucking Louisiana. Do you really need him to elaborate on what block his place of business is located? Recently posted on Facebook: Maybe it's just me, but I think that's stalking.
Seriously. Just tune into any reality show with "Swamp" in the title and you'll understand. Sort of. When your English needs English sub-titles you know something's amiss.
I decided to enter the 21st century. My truck has a ridiculous stereo in it that can sync to an ipod, so I broke down and bought a 5th generation ipod. I have 18G of music on my computer I need to transfer to this thing. I've already enlisted the help of my nephew to show me how to do it, because I know fuck all about ipods. Getting old and out of touch sucks, I think my brain filled up about 15 years ago. There's simply no room for new information. I used to laugh at old folks, but now I understand. If I want to absorb new information like how to work an ipod, I have to sacrifice some other piece of information like the batting average of the 1951 Phillies. Seeing as the '51 Phillies statistics are never going to change and ipod knowledge is ever changing, it's a pretty easy call which stays in memory.
Is no one else curious what was in the can? Also, this made me laugh: Ryan Gosling Won't Eat His Cereal
Go Wings!!! This is my last weekend of house sitting, I really don't want to go back to real life. Drinking will make it better like always.
I decided to actually earn my booze tonight and went on a 6 mile run before I started drinking. I was kind of surprised at how my neck started feeling a lot better afterward, but it could have been due to the fire in my calves that took my mind off of it. Still, definitely worth the effort. Now that the two remedies are combined, I'm damn near pain free. Tomorrow is likely to be another story.
I won a case of beer off a bet with a guy I work with. So what am I drinking tonight? Red Dog, $10 for a 30 pack. It tastes exactly like you might think.
They still make Red Dog? You could always just repeatedly smash your head against the wall instead of drinking it since you'll still wake up with the same feeling. Reminds me of my younger days when Olde English was my cheap go to.
"Babies! You make babies now! I was born in rice field and you (Pointing at boyfriend) need to make boom boom with explosion. Angel, I am disappoint with you. All other family has babies. You bring eternal shame on family. Is he been cut? (Looking at boyfriend's mother accusingly) Why no babies?"
That is horrifyingly accurate. A question for the audience - is it okay for your fuck buddy to cook lunch for your mom on Mother's Day? Or is there some sort of line that gets drawn between booty calls and moms? Someone has told me that he would be okay with having a FWB cooking lunch for his mom but not a fuck buddy.
Red Dog isn't bad beer, Olde English on the other hand is shit. I am drinking Milwaukee's Best now, 11.80 for a case.
Hey, TiB, what's shakin'? Let me just say, good ol' Jenny12Many doesn't say much. But when she does, dayum.