Okay, "VI Being A Dick Alert" Why does every public event have a person signing away like they're drowning? Seriously? Is closed captioning that non-existent? I constantly have it on because I like having the TV volume low so I can listen to other things. But motherfucker. Every goddamn event has this goofy looking person waving their arms around like it's the Apocalypse. Are there really that many deaf people? Do they not have televisions made after 1978? Is it that hard to figure out the 'CC on' button? I have no idea why it irritates me. Especially when it's a snow emergency. They're deaf, not blind, they can fucking see it's snowy and icy and I assume they are of the same intellect as everyone else, so I'm reasonably sure they can figure it the fuck out. /VI Dick Rant.
That's what she said. So, instead of being productive I'm watching This Is 40. I hate everyone and everything right now. Leslie Mann is the most onerous cunt I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. Mainly because she reminds me of everyone that lives in Palm Beach Gardens.
You can all eat a dick. Aussie BBQ's kill Texan ones, our Schnitzel's Chips and Gravy are better than Austria's (partly because they don't do gravy - or anywhere in Europe), and our cops don't actually eat donuts*. And our Pizza's are actually good, just very different. We go a bit overboard with toppings. *they eat McDonald's instead
Oh shit, I just googled that. Now I desperately want fried stuff with gravy on it. *burst into tears*
Yeah, fuck with Tong Po and see what happens. Steven Seagal has a ponytail, you want your eyes gouged out, back broken then thrown down an elevator shaft? In truth, a ponytail on a man screams "Divorced guy who tries to pick up at the dog park".
Listening to that guy talk is about as pleasant as listening to my daughter get burned with cigarettes. Having an accent like that is nothing short of a curse. As far a ploughing in concerned, well, the streets are clear, your driveway is your problem. We're the ones who chose to live in shit weather for six months.
I heard that at the next Texas state fair, they're going to have fried gravy. And for all you northerners, I feel your pain. It's supposed to dip all the way down to 25 tonight. And that's not a "dry" 25 either.
Sooooo, I was going to try and be funny and counter with a naked woman with a ponytail. I wasn't impressed with the Playboy + ponytail search so I typed "boobs + ponytail tumblr". Worst. Idea. Ever. I feel like the first image there was something Black Jesus would upload, er, I mean locate. NSFCMC Seriously, it's not for the faint of heart. Spoiler