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Holiday Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Dec 6, 2013.

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  1. Danger Boy

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    It was -25° Freedom here today. Wasn't too bad, but I sure as fuck wouldn't want to stand around in it all day. The Governor cancelled school for the whole state because apparently children will freeze and shatter like the T-1000 terminator when it gets below -20. I think the real reason behind it was because everyone was too lazy to put #1 diesel in the school buses.
     
  2. Revengeofthenerds

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    Stairs are cheaper.
     
  3. JoeCanada

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    You have clearly never bought stairs.
     
  4. scotchcrotch

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    I think he meant "quicker".
     
  5. JoeCanada

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    Well they also take quite a while to build. God, don't you people know anything about stairs?

    And shit, there are more pressing issues at hand in this scenario! First give your girlfriend a good swift front kick to the stomach to take care of problem #1 and then focus on your next home improvement project.
     
  6. CharlesJohnson

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    That pregnancy test is ingenious. As shitty as it is I admire their ingenuity. HOWEVER, they are underselling that shit by a good $100. Get with it, people.

    I've always had this fantasy of having a woman throw the pregnancy card at me when I secretly had a vasectomy years prior. I'd milk that shit so long. I'd stage an engagement party. Invite her friends, her family, my friends with their I-phone video recorders, and read aloud the results of my sperm test and the receipt from the urologist.
     
  7. Crown Royal

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    Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread

    You're telling me there are still people out there stupid enough to believe they should get married just for getting pregnant? They should remove all the sidewalks to prevent knuckle injuries in these places. God is fucking dead.
     
  8. Revengeofthenerds

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    Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread

    Actually, that's the exact wrong statement in this context. There are still people stupid enough to believe they should get married just because they are pregnant because they believe god exists and will judge them for a perceived sin.

    Yes, I know, no religion on the board. But sue me if this is pushing it. We're making fun of idiots here, not making fun of a religion.
     
  9. Crown Royal

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    My neighbour just bought me 12 MGD for blowing out her driveway tonight. Sweet.
     
  10. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread

    Happens daily here in the south, I don't get it.

    I'd like to watch the game but one of the downfalls of working second is never being able too.
     
  11. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread

    That what the kids are calling it these days?
     
  12. shimmered

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    legions of people who believe that very thing.



    It's not the first time I've seen that advertised, either.
     
  13. Popped Cherries

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    I just watched Runner Runner (shitty movie).

    I think I'm in love...

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Cult

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    Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread

    I work with a guy like that. Apparently when he was like 19 his girlfriend had a pregnancy scare and she wanted an abortion. Dude isn't religious or anything but he's staunchly pro-life, and in his own words he said to her "YER NOT KILLIN' MY BABY, WE'RE GETTIN MARRIED" or some stupid shit. His justification was that he had a good job and could afford a family. He worked at Cracker Barrel as a waiter at the time.

    No fucking way I'd marry someone who I didn't already intend on marrying. At this point in my life, if I got a chick pregnant, I'd offer to pay for the abortion and she didn't take the offer, well, I have no problem paying child support but I ain't gonna be a daddy. Kinda fucked up, I know, especially since I often rant about my shitty childhood but it just isn't doable for me for the next few years.
     
  15. iczorro

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    Yeah, she's the new British Christina Hendricks. She was Gretel in that terrible witch hunters movie.
     
  16. JWags

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    Except, you know, not fat disguised with giant boobs.
     
  17. CharlesJohnson

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    We've talked about the Cinemax show Banshee. Nothing special, original, or altogether clever, but satisfying for sex and violence. There are some serious fights in this series. I just picked up an episode I missed on the original run.

    This is hands down the most brutal fucking fight I have ever seen on film. Jesus FUCK. Watch that without cringing. Double dog dare you.

     
    #2537 CharlesJohnson, Jan 6, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. Crown Royal

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    Bin-go.

    Gemma Arterton is sugar.

    CJ: Season 2 starts this Friday. More dirty cheap shots and raunchy sex to come.
     
  19. Angel_1756

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    I really forgot how good Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is. I'm torn whether Jason Statham is the luckiest bastard on the world for tapping Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, or whether she's the luckiest bitch for tapping him.
     
  20. CharlesJohnson

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    She was absolutely lovely to look at in Quantum of Solace, but has the distinction of being the worst Bond girl next to Denise Richards. She served zero purpose to the plot.

    God, that flick chafes my thighs. It's half a good movie and comes so close in some regards. Total blueballs. The ending scenes are perfect, despite a shitty, generic climax. Also holds the distinction of being directed by Marc Forster who is, as far as I am concerned, the English Uwe Boll. Fucking moron. Yet he keeps getting work.

    [​IMG]
     
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