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Holiday Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Dec 6, 2013.

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  1. Flat_Rate

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    First time I went into Cheetah's I was welcomed to the stunning sight of a stripper spread eagled on the stage while drunk patrons tried to pilot a RC car with a dildo strapped to it into various orifices.

    I seriously considered moving to Canada at that point.
     
  2. Currer Bell

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    Krampus: Never heard of this before, and even lived in Germany 3 years, and yet now I've heard of it in two different contexts within the same week.


    Weather: Tonight was PERFECT for our trip to Williamsburg to attend Christmastown. No rain, and the temp was moderate. I was able to wear a jacket and mittens and feel comfortable. I am a weather wimp and fully expected to want to put a gun in my mouth within the first hour. We were there 5 hours and had a blast. We rode Verbolten SEVEN times! That is insane. I'm amazed I am still awake, but not for long.
     
  3. Crown Royal

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    It's because they're fucking ignorant and haven't toured your country. I have. The ignorant ones view you guys as "Shoot first and ask questions rarely". Yes, you scare them. You're The Redneck Country to them, they don't know that actually 19/20 of you are nice to interact with. The only time people freaked me out was Kentucky but that doesnt exactly suprise you, does it?

    Oh, and we don't rely on you guys? We are each other's LARGEST TRADING PARTNER. The fuck glue did they eat?
     
  4. toddamus

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    Kinda reminds me of when Top Gear drove through Alabama with inflammatory phrases on their cars. They stopped at a gas station in the middle of no where and of course the locals got pissed and (albeit shockingly) they started throwing rocks at them.

    Whenever I hear someone is from Kentucky the first question I ask them is can they read. If they can I congratulate them. Its like anywhere else though, if I went to the UK and went to Glasgow I could make fun of them and assume everyone else is like that, but that'd be fucking stupid. People like to think the entire US is like Alabama, because its easy and funny.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    The people of the Kentucky restaurant told me-- not asked-- told me that my country was "full of faggots." They were actually pissed that Canada started allowing open gay marriage for so long, and apparently I was Prime Minister.

    I told them a faggot is what we call bundles of wood and we have strict re-forestation laws up north. That was followed by the sort of look a Lab puppy gives a ceiling fan. I realized what I said didn't make any sense but THEY didn't know that.

    The only truly shitty people I met in all my times down there.
     
  6. caseykasem

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    Krampus:



     
    #126 caseykasem, Dec 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  7. scotchcrotch

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    50/50 chance of getting tix to tonights SEC Championship.

    The tide might be turning in my favor!
     
  8. xrayvision

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    Where in Kentucky were you?
     
  9. Crown Royal

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    I don't know it was well over a decade ago. It was some roadside restaurant I remember it saying it had the "Best Food in the USA" on their sign. Actually the food was good, i caught their sttention when I refused grits with my meal. This was my discovery that having an aversion to grits in a Hee-haw state is not taken lightly.

    I can't tell you the area but assume this where they go to recruit the supporting cast for Justified.

    Polasky county? Something like that. Very scenic. I remember it sounding Polish. Got a REAL hoot out of my funny accent, too.
     
  10. gamecocks

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    Are you even aware of the jab you just took at Alabama?
     
  11. CharlesJohnson

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    You know what makes me remember Pearl Harbor? High fructose corn syrup Spaghetti-o's.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://twitchy.com/2013/12/07/spaghettios-slammed-for-inappropriate-and-awful-pearl-harbor-tweet-pic-photoshops/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://twitchy.com/2013/12/07/spaghetti ... hotoshops/</a>

    [​IMG]

    I don't care about the backlash because someone somewhere just shed a bald eagle tear, nodded their head, then went to the store to buy a case of canned slow death.

    Twitter account is down. This is hilarious. Fuckers will try to hawk anything in any way possible.
     
  12. silway

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    There is something deeply pervy about that O.
     
  13. Cult

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    I probably shouldn't have laughed at that, fucking hell.

    I hate remembrance days. If corporations and politicians don't suck all of the meaning out of these days then time eventually does. Like 10 or 20 years later I'm convinced almost nobody cares anymore except the people who were directly effected. The youngest person alive when Pearl Harbor happened is 72, so the youngest person alive who remember Pearl Harbor is a couple of years older. Also, another thing that's crazy, the youngest WWII vets are 85 years old, not to exclude the people who lied about their age to join or anything but I didn't feel like searching for that.
     
  14. scotchcrotch

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    I commissioned my tattoo artists that did my sleeve to do a painting for my office.

    I wanted something dark, but abstract.




    To be completely honest, I hate it. It looks like Dracula and Frankenstein had a downs' syndrome child. There is no way in hell I would hang this in my office.


    We had agreed upon $500, but I really don't know if I can pay him for this. I don't buy art, so I'm a little torn.


    Do I suck it up and pay or should I stand my ground? Is this as ugly as I'm making it out to be?

    He's already done a few revisions and I don't see it improving.
     

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  15. Crown Royal

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    You bought an oil painting of The Hilarious House Of Frightenstein?
     
  16. scotchcrotch

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    Im glad its not just me.

    I feel bad for the guy but damn, it's a huge waste if I cant hang it and it just looks....bad.
     
  17. toddamus

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    You should give it to someone you hate as a Christmas present.

    That or chuck it, its hideous.
     
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    That is worth $25 at a Flea Market. You pay full price because you feel bad for the My Left Foot handicap who devoted 16 weeks to painting it. Except the kid had full use of his limbs, which makes it even sadder.

    More to the point: You let that man tattoo your flesh? It's a tribal isn't it? You let him put tribals on you, then he said what a wonderful artist he was and you believed him. Revel in your shame!

    Bonus: Secret Santa.

    Edit: can't stop looking at it. Lou Ferrigno's Hulk mixed with Fred Gwynne's Herman Munster trying on a peach Sunday dress. This is something Warren Zevon would write a song about.
     
  19. toddamus

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    If you hang that in your office you will lose business and be known as that weird guy.

    You should pay him for it because thats what you agreed on, but take it as a loss. You made a bad deal, it happens.
     
  20. scotchcrotch

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    Fuck no it's not tribal.


    He did a great half sleeve which is why I asked him to do this.

    I know he spent some time on it, but damn.
     
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