It says a lot about someone when people have to debate whether he was on acid or it was just Tuesday.
My mother-in-law is like this, to the point one year I got a check for $7.14 so we were even. I have to get up at 5 am since my daughter has a "10,000 yards of swim" Christmas practice from 6-9 am. I figure I'll work out so I can gorge myself later, then come home and take a nap. We'll head over to the in-laws around 2 or so. She has the best appetizers, which are by far my favorite. I love Christmas food.
I seriously love online gift cards. They are the laziest, best gift ever. Without going to the mall or thinking for more than a second I can buy a decent Christmas gift for anyone. The one thing I don't like about them though, is that people may not use the full card amount, which means giving that retailer free money.
If it makes you feel any better, their accountants have to keep track of those dollars and cents as liabilities. I can't even imagine how many a place like Canadian Tire or Walmart has outstanding. I don't know about anywhere else, but here in Saskatchewan there isn't an expiry date on gift cards purchased. The only ones that can expire are ones given as charity or donations. So all those cards with $0.19 on them are on the books for a very long time.
I don't even want to know what your Google search history looks like. Probably like an episode of CSI, messy, bloody, and hapless victims everywhere.
My grandfather was the opposite. One time he bought my dad a fuse for something. My dad's birthday was the next week and he gave him a card with $49.31 in it. Coins and all. Told him it was $50 for his birthday minus the 69 cents he spent on that fuse.
I am headed to work this lovely freezing Christmas Eve. It seems that most folks i know are off of work, and most festivities start early on Christmas Eve. I previewed my schedule, and it isn't very busy but is filled with your common complaints of sore throats, colds, and sniffles. I am envisioning every one of them telling me that they "can't" be sick for christmas, so better find some magic cure for the common cold in the next hour or two. Oh but my very last appointment of the day was filled by somebody who apparently wants his wart (on his hand) treated on Christmas Eve. Maybe he'll reschedule so I can leave early.
Fixed. Ho ho ho? Or is that apropos? And when did I schedule an appointment with you? It's not in my book. Uh, I mean my friend. Yeah.
I'm off today, but since my girlfriend is working, I'm heading in to. This year we had two guys quit right before the holidays, so we've been short-staffed the whole time. On the plus side, I've made some serious cash this year. On the down side, people who buy a cajon. I have never seen customers inspect and compare items more than these. "Which one would you buy?" and "What do you think of the tone on this one?" are the stupidest questions when YOU'RE LOOKING AT A FUCKING BOX THAT YOU SIT ON AND BEAT WITH YOUR HANDS. THEY ALL SOUND THE FUCKING SAME SO JUST BUY A FUCKING CAJON ALREADY!! I am going to enjoy a few drinks tonight.
Since you must know, They need it to be awesome, since its impossible to look cool while playing one. Those thing still sell? I did not know there were still so many mummers in today's society.
I would support this experiment, you know, before and after pictures, and what not. I am actually disappointed that none of our lovely Tibbettes have updated either the bootie or boobie thread (cough, boobie, cough) with a holiday-themed post. Something, like but, add elf shoes or something. Or hang candy canes on your nipples. There could be a contest. Winner gets named Holiday Cheermeister. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and generally I hope all you idiots have some good days. May your family visits be low stress, may any holiday depression be only light blue, and I hope you are able to find joy in the laughter of a child, or the smile of a friend as they open your gift. Ho ho ho and stuff!
Oh a little late considering recent events but I found something that will help us deal with the crushing blow next time one of our (ex) members leaves one of their patented heroic suicide notes:
Me and my culinary wingman just got this bad boy into the oven. I guess . . . Boom Roasted! . . . will be appropriate, in about 5 hours.
We're having Steak at my folks' place tonight. After that, Christmas Vacation and Die Hard. I cannot fathom a better way to honour Jesus.
The wife's aunt and uncle sent us 1.5 lbs. of smoked salmon from Harry & David's. I'm the only one in the house who likes smoked salmon. Things are finally starting to turn around! Wife went to Einstein Bros. this morning and picked up a dozen bagels and cream cheese. Oy vey this is good lox! When I'm done, it's cheesecake making time. This year, I pass down the recipe to my oldest daughter and teach her how to make it, ensuring that future generations of L4L's partake and enjoy this family tradition.