You know, I don't know the specifics, but the way he made it sound was that she was some hot girl who he had met a couple of times before she just up and asked him. He didn't mention anything about her having a reputation for shit like that, but to me it sounded like he didn't know her that well when he agreed to the date. I'm not sure what I find more annoying, that they are tricking unsuspecting people into enabling them to live outside of their means, or that there are guys who are naive and desperate enough to fall for what they're doing.
The guys may be fools, but they are being lied to and being used for the income that THEY earned. It's pretty easy to decipher who the more detestable person is. Gold digging is disgusting and paints females horribly, mostly because its not that uncommon. We've all seen it a whole lot more than once in our personal lives.
In case you've been living under a rock, this just happened in Russia 14 dead, 34 injured. Sounds like it happened close to where the Olympics will be taking place in a few weeks. No bueno.
Wonder if it could be from the whole Chechnya / North Caucasus thing, I know there were some concerns about insurgents trying to hit the Olympics.
Yeah but playing devil's advocate here, I'm sure women feel the same way about putting out. They rationalize it as "well he's just using me for sex, Ill just use him for money". Not saying it's right or anything, but any guy worth his salt should be able to see it after a date or two and if they dont, they kind of have it coming. True story, I had a situation like this back in college and she kept pushing for "the best place in the city". So I took her to Applebee's. The look of sheer disgust on her face, and the fact that I drove so she couldnt take off, was worth the price of her riblets. It also made me a legend back at the dorm.
That is the common stereotype right there. We use them to get laid, they use us for money. The shoe is sometimes on the other foot in the "user" situation, but not usually.
The women are more annoying. There is no way for the guy to know the situation. You can't rule out the fact these guys have probably asked a girl out, taken her to a nice restaurant and actually had better results because the girl wasn't a cunt with an agenda. It's not like this shit is happening in a vacuum. I think the entire courting system is broken. The reasons this shit was created no longer exists. Men don't get a dowry, land or titles when they get married. Women can now work, own property and vote. Now, let me say I do pay for most dinners and things with my gf, but that's because I make like 20k more than her. If she ever hits paydirt, that shit is flipping. If she made more money, I wouldn't insist on paying because of "tradition" or I'm the man or some bullshit. Shit is more even now. The concept of dudes having to do everything needs to die off. All the trade-offs have! Before Men did all the chivalrous, traditional things, but they could fuck their secretaries and their wives would like the other way. That shit doesn't happen anymore, now that happens and she walks out the door with HALF his shit just because "she grew accustomed to a certain lifestyle" and "they built a life together" I could keep going with examples, but my point has been made. It's funny that some of you guys are so outraged and mad at this. I said something like I wrote above a long time ago and it spawned a whole thread about dating and courting. All the guys on the board puffed out their chest and talking about "masculinity", and how important it was for a "man" to take care of a "woman" and tradition, and people kept saying things like "That's how its supposed to be" or "that's how its always done" with no real rationale except that's what's been coded into them through socialization. But the above happens, and I've seen my female friends do this shit all the time. Not in an abusive systematic thing, but I've literally heard a girl say "I like going on dates, I'm not looking for anything, but I really need a reason to wear these new boots I bought." Also have seen them chat up a guy just for the sake of getting a drink. I've been on the wrong side of that as well. You buy a drink for a girl (god forbid her friend as well) and you don't even get 2 minutes of conversation out of it. You get some bullshit like "Thanks, but we gotta meet up with our friends over there! BYE!" Now your first reaction TiB is to be like "OH MY GOD! THAT GIRL IS A CUNT HOPE SHE DIES IN A TIRE FIRE!!11!!" But that shit isn't uncommon. but to quote Cutty from The Wire. "The game done changed." Here is how dating should work in an 2014. Person 1 asks Person 2 out (not guy asking girl, because its 20-fucking-14). They go on a date. Person 1 pays A) They don't don't want a second date. B) They do want a second date. Person 2 insists on splitting if they're not interested in a second date. Pretty fucking simple. Person 1 knows the deal, but they're not at a financial loss. Person 2 isn't taking advantage of Peron 1. And more importantly, Person 1 won't feel like they're owed something, which has lead to some bad things. Like the first 3 dates should go like this. After that, its up to them. Of course this is never going to happen, but its how it should go.
Putin was really arrogant for putting the WO so close to Chechnya. Look at Google Maps, look at Sochi and Chechnya, they're pretty dam close together. In fact, according to GoogleMaps they are a days drive apart. I think there's going to be a very real, palpable security concern at the upcoming event.
Parker...slow down, hero. We are picking apart certain individuals, not arguing the aspects of paying for a date. We are talking ones who specifically use people for dates to get by on free meals or whatever the need is. The stuff CJ posted re-posted was horrific. Whether or not that is evil isn't open for debate. It rings a lot of bells on the Psychopath Test, because that is exactly what a real psychopath does: they use their target to get what they need and throw them in the garbage when that need is expired or they get bored. If you use somebody for gain, lead them on and manipulate their feeling towards you then you ARE a bad person. My best friend doesn't like serious relationships and he is completely up front with women about it because he doesn't want to lead them on. That's how it is done. Leading anybody on for gain or amusement, male or female, is wrong.
I sent her a text a couple hours ago just saying that maybe this wasnt a good idea and that I wasnt feeling the games. She responded and said she had been under a lot of stress with her mom having surgery the previous week, etc. And she had left her phone at home. She said the same thing a few weeks back. I dont know if that is legit or not, but now I feel like an ass.
How many times can her mom have surgery and she forget her phone at the same time? Sounds like you want an Plan B, maybe start looking at other women.
Dunno man, if it feels weird, it usually is weird. Especially this late in life, usually both sides just want to see what's up and make it really easy for the other person. When it comes to response times, I usually watch them on dates. When you're on a date with someone and they check their phone every 5 seconds, or never place it out of sight, but don't get back to you for hours, something is up.
Scotch, I'm sure she's seeing more than one person. Not that there's anything wrong with that, imo, but that definitely sounds like the situation. So she really only has time for you occasionally, and doesn't feel comfortable giving you the excuse, "hey I'm going out with somebody else" when you try to make plans. There might be a small element of truth in her phone/stress excuses and probably is, but it's hard for me to believe that you're her only dating priority. As to what you should do about it, I think confronting her for playing games sounds good in theory, but in reality will just make you come off as angry and her recoil. You should never make somebody an essential in your life when you're just an option in theirs, so I would say stop worrying about her, for the most part. I think you should move on. Don't burn her house down or anything, just stop making a level of effort that isn't reciprocated, because it's clearly creating an imbalance. If you don't feel comfortable dating multiple people, that's fine, but this situation seems untenable. Also, it's a tremendously scummy move to go to an expensive dinner with somebody just for free food, unless you're upfront about it.
The same excuse twice? Women don't forget their cellphones when the house is on fire. Come on, man....
I want to say he meant she said the stress of her mom's surgery twice as excuses not the forgetting the phone part.
I hate how involved the government is with peoples' personal lives. I really hate how child support is set up. Too often it seems children are used in a divorce as bargaining chips. I think if the government is going to force a transfer of wealth from one party to another they should check up that that money is actually being used for the benefit of the child. The entire concept of alimony / spousal support is fucked up in my opinion as well. I agree that a lot of guys are stuck in their ways of dating because of what they were told they were supposed to do. I still do the paying for dates thing to an extent. Your example would be nice if that's how dating worked, but considering guys do almost the entirety of the asking and planning of dates they still end up being the ones who end up dumping money into it disproportionately. The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of women rarely if ever are the ones to ask guys out. It sucks but it is what it is and it isn't going to change any time soon.
Re: Re: Holiday Drunk Thread That's why I quit doing dinner dates for the first few times getting together with a new girl, I know way to many chicks that just go out with guys for the free meals. So the new house had very sturdy 2x4 shelving in the garage so I put about 5 gallons of paint there to store it out of the way thinking that no fucking way somebody would put up nice shelves without screwing into the studs. Every wonder what 3 different colors of paint totaling 5 gallons looks like on a concrete floor? Yeah me either.
We're not in a relationship and Im seeing Plan B and C as well. Women just suck in general though. The more attention you give them, the less interested they are and vice versa. Hell, the women I dont give two shits about are ready to have my babies.