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How the hell do you grow that?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Saint, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. jordan_paul

    jordan_paul
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    Not even. I take a mustache comb and comb my pubes out so they look bushier when the girl goes to play the old skin flute. A thick mane of pubic hair is a show of an alpha male, and all women will be drawn to that. Its science.
     
  2. Saint

    Saint
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    That is exactly what I do. More of a convenience thing rather than being worried about the toxic death plague or some such. Raised beds keep your garden contained and allow you to control the content (somewhat) of the soil. Here is my garden makeup, and keep in mind I live in a tract house and all this is contained on one of my side yards. which is about 40'x12' and also houses the air conditioner and a rubbermaid tool shed.

    Summer: A shit ton of heirloom tomatoes. Constantly trying different varieties to get different sauce blends. The only 2 staples are the White Tomosol, and True Black Brandy-wine.
    Onions
    Garlic
    Cilantro (which I only had to plant once and now it comes up like a weed)
    Hot peppers. Jalapenos, Serrano, and either Anaheim or Fresno chilies.

    Winter: Broccoli
    Collard greens
    carrots
    potatoes

    Permanent: Strawberries
    Artichokes
    Whatever herbs are in season. Basil, thyme, rosemary, etc.
    I have 2 grapevines that I got from a demo job that I have trained up across the gated arbor at the entrance to my garden. Not enough to make wine, but just enough for the kids to snack on.
    And I have three 1/4 whiskey barrels that I have dwarf mandarin orange, lemon, and avocado trees in. I have yet to see avocado 1. fucker.
     
  3. Forest Ranger

    Forest Ranger
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    Seems to be a lot of martha stuarts on here.

    I have raised chickens, pigs, a calf now and then that loses its mother and recently goats. Most farmers do not want to keep babies around that required to be bottle fed, so you can make quite a fine coin on animals you pick up for cheap, bottle feed for a few weeks and then sell for quadruple the price.

    Best thing I learned, at the end of the day, food is food. Too many people get attached, not to say I'm a cold bastard, I love my animals and I give most of them good homes. But when you can pick them up for next to nothing, and sell them for hundreds sometimes thousands of dollars, it's worth the 3 or 4 bottles a day for a few weeks.
     
  4. Crown Royal

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    Ground up eggshells are amazing in soil, just boil them first to kill the bacteria before putting them in the dirt. If you're growing fruiting plants like tomatoes or bell peppers, use micro nutrients as soon as the fruit starts to flower. Just stop the nutrients at least two weeks before you pull the fruit or it will taste like ass. That goes for growing ANYTHING if you use micro or advanced nutrients.

    Always dead-head flowers with scissors or shears, cut at a 45 degree angle with the plant to cause the least amount of bruising.

    Lots of herbs around the patio makes it smell VERY pleasant, some smell great when burned in the fire too. Remember that rosemary attracts bees and wasps. Different kinds of basil is excellent (and great with recipes and food), same with sage (which survives the winter).

    Because of pesticide bans, insecticidal soap is pretty much the only thing that keeps spider mites and cinch bugs off the plants.

    Aerate your lawn at least once every two years (and up to twice a year). YEs, it makes your lawn look like two thousand Canadian geese took a shit on it, but you'll be amazed the change in colour.
     
  5. LatinGroove

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    They are also very good for keeping slugs out of the garden if you put them around the edges.

    I used to have a really nasty problem with aphids when my plants first started sprouting. I'm more of a biological solution type of a guy. The lady bugs worked wonders for my garden and were pretty cheap to boot. Praying mantids also work really well depending on your bug problems and they generally stay in the same area.
     
  6. Saint

    Saint
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    As far as aphid goes, the ladybugs are awesome but tend to disappear in the winter. Frost is supposed to kill the aphid but tell that to the ones posted up on my cabbage and collards. When bio is not an option simply mix a little bit of organic dish soap and water in a spray bottle and mist your problem. The plant will suffer no adverse effects, it will keep the ants from "aphid farming" for a while, and it wont add any unwanted chemicals to your soil.
     
  7. Disgustipated

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    I grow bamboo, which I cut down and then hit people with. I've got eight "clumps" out the back: two of Golden and six of Ghost Stripe. The important thing is to get clumping bamboo, unless you either plan to only put it in a pot or you really, really, really like bamboo... everywhere. The shit is almost impossible to kill and will run underground and pop up anywhere and everywhere.

    Clumping bamboo is more expensive, but will send up shoots in about a six or seven foot diameter (dependent on species) and stop.

    I prefer rattan, but it's shit to grow and deal with.
     
  8. LatinGroove

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    I wish I could plant as much stuff as you have. Since I'm moving into an apartment it's definitely going to be fun seeing what I can do with the patio and stuff near the windows.

    How do you like your tomatoes for the sauces? I had the beefsteak variety but didn't use them for sauces.

    I'd like to do potatoes, but I think I'm just going to grow them in buckets since they have that disease and I don't want my other plants contracting them.
     
  9. Saint

    Saint
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    “Paste” type varieties are supposedly the best for sauces (roma, yellow pear, etc.) However I like to experiment with every variety I try. You have to boil them off a little longer to compensate for the extra moisture content, but I have found it to be well worth the time. By experimenting with the different heirloom varieties you can adjust the taste of your sauce with the type of tomato you use. Some even have a crisp citrus flavor to them. I haven’t had to add so much as a teaspoon of sugar to my sauce in years. I get a kick out of the look on our friends’ faces when we have them over for dinner and they think the pasta has a cream sauce on it and is actually a white tomato variety.

    Potatoes I would defiantly do in a bucket. It may take longer but I recommend ordering your starters from an organic seed company. They are less prone to disease and I know everyone says that you can just take the potatoes from the grocery store and plant them but, a lot of them are genetically modified or treated with a chemical after harvest that inhibits growth. (Longer shelf life)

    As far as the limited space goes……Windowsills are great for small herb dish gardens. Just grow what you like, experiment, and have fun. You can use anything from ¼ whiskey barrels or large flower pots to a cheap ass hard plastic kid’s sandbox/pool and still grow a bunch of stuff. And fuck the neighbors who are wondering why you have tomatoes and jalapenos growing in a neon purple plastic turtle on your patio. They will be the ones eating out of jars.
     
  10. Danger Boy

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    I grow 1050 acres of corn and 1050 acres of soybeans.



    Do I win?
     
  11. Nettdata

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    You grow the shit that is used to make fake meat and stuff that supplements my gas with shit that fucks with the internals and reduces power.

    So no, you lose.

    Unless it's feed corn, for cows, or swine, as in you grow the food that food eats, then you win.

    Hell, in that case, we ALL win.
     
  12. Kubla Kahn

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    Or unless he lets us hunt his fields for deer population control. But ONLY if he does.
     
  13. Danger Boy

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    The stuff I grow goes everywhere. Some of it becomes livestock feed, some becomes vegetable oil, some becomes plastic, some becomes food products. Some of it even becomes tofu and Biodiesel. The shit goes all over the world. Once I deliver it to the grain elevator, I don't know where that truckload will end up. I sold it to Cargill, they decide how to distribute it.


    Edit: Oh, he was just giving me shit. I'm dumb.