Sweet mother of fuck. I can't say I understand where you're coming from. You're in a chair, I'm not. I can empathize with you. Been a while since I felt the sweet sweet touch of a woman. I know, that doesn't really compare to NO touch from a woman. HEY FUCKOS. Why haven't we gotten Hotwheelz laid yet? I know Tucker was too much of an ass to care about anyone else, but... Hotwheelz is fucking IMMOBILE. Let's find a way to get him laid, yeah?
Nah man, he did a lot for me. He set me up with a website and great editors. Invited me on the set, hung out with me and believed in my writing. I know he gets a lot of shit here, but the dude really is a good guy. The entire Rudius staff has been really good to me and I'll always be indebted to them. But yeah, vagina would be nice.
Any liquored up female board members willing to take one for the team? I would, but I lack both the requisite body parts or the girlfriend to offer up. I'm a miserable sad sack at the moment, and I just can't have hotwheelz outdoing me. Someone give it up!
I think I'm going to make this signature. You guys treat tucker like he raped your mom and never did anything decent. In reality, he called you all losers (when you deserved it), and then he shut down your main source of social interaction. I'm sorry to break the news hot wheelz, but the only way you are getting laid is via a whore. If it makes you feel any better Pete Rose fucks whores all the time. And he is the best baseball player ever. If he cant get laid without paying for it, how can anyone be expected to?!?!?
It's AMC and at least one season of it is usually on-demand. And if you are like anyone else I turned on to the show, that "Holy Shit" moment will likely be about 18 minutes into the first episode you watch. It is that good.
The latest technology in carnal pleasures can't be overlooked, especially the flesh light. Worst case scenario, a gyro with extra sauce for lube will work. Whores are loose, std-laden, and the smell eminating from the stink whole is gag-inducing. There has to be a female out there willing to donate her vagina for the greater good. I would fuck a female quadriplegic, let's see some humanity!
Since when is telling someone over the phone you're gonna kick their ass grounds to lawyer up/get a restraining order? I don't believe it is, and I weep for for our legal system if it is. The beer I had for breakfast was delicious, time for liquid lunch.
What about Shegirl? Oh. Never mind. The good: Whenever I've had friends visit, my fridge ends up with more alcohol in it than it started with the night before, at no expense to me. The bad: Half of it was Smirnoff Ice. The ugly: The other half of it was Bud Light and Miller Lite. I was high at the drive-thru to Burger King at 6 AM this morning. Seems like it was a good night.
If we, the members of TiB, pitched in to buy you, Hotwheelz, a fleshlight: 1. Would you use it? 2. Can it be the creepy mouth one? 3. Would you put your dick in this?
So after watching this youtube brawl I have come to the conclusion that I have never seen someone just dish out a kick/punch to someone else's balls in a fight. Why is this? I have never been in brawl/streetfight, but it seems like this would be a good move. Or is that just a misconception? And sure, you might argue that there is some honor in fighting, but if dudes are picking up chairs and tables I'd say nutshots are fair game. Ye idiotboard of degenerates and nefarious characters enlighten me to your ways of the melee.
I imagine sex with Shegirl involves violence and sodomy, all while she degrades you and spits in your face.. In other words, sign me up.
I've never been in a fight, but yeah, I'd say when it gets to the point where furniture is being tossed and his buddy is wielding a fucking chain, all bets are off. Not surprisingly, this happened in NYC. This is nothing against the people of New York, mind you, but I'd imagine people are less likely to bluff and/or back off after a few token bitch swings like they do around the parts I'm used to. Therefore, I'd err on the side of caution and say, "Go for it." Fuck honor in fighting. That only happens in the octagon.
The bitch of that is that he can't even use the fleshlight. He will need outside involvement regardless of the activity. And let me get this right.....whores are loose, but you are looking for a volunteer to just donate her vagina? Hmmm.
Yes, a patron saint of pussy. Like Mother Theresa if she bent over in the name of God. Are you calling Mother Theresa a whore?
Fights are fights. They are ALWAYS dangerous. You never know if some psycho is going to pick up a rock or broken stick and kill you with it, or get hit from behind by one of the other guy's hanger-on friends so you do what it takes to get out in one piece at all times. I hate fights but have been in them from time to time, and you're not going to get sent to your room with no supper if you have to crush a guy's coin purse in order to get out of a predicament. It's not something that happens regularly (I kicked a guy in the balls once that threw a trash can at my head) but it DOES happen. The best thing to do if a fight breaks out that there is no escape is to do what prisoners do: get your back against the wall and KEEP YOUR GODDMAN HANDS UP AT ALL COSTS. The odds of getting hit with a cheap-shot are reduced 90% if you take five seconds to do so.
I took Tai Kwon Do for almost five years and I learned a lot about defending myself and where to hit as well. I've only been in two fights in my entire life and one of them was outside a bar. I would hazard a guess that 85-95% of the people running around starting shit don't know how to throw a punch if their life depended on it; especially guys who wear tonnes of MMA gear. Frankly, if I can't get the fucker down on my first or second punch and I couldn't talk them out of the fight, then I'm out of there. Anything more, you've got a good chance of getting a knife stuck in you. Thankfully, I'm 6'4" and ~220 lbs. so not a lot of people try and start shit with me.
I've got 8 years of wrestling and 4 years of Muay Thai and BJJ in my experience bag plus a ton of bar fights (rugby team+army guys+booze every single weekend gets rough) and from my experience you DO NOT grab chairs, bar stools, bottles, motherfucking chains, anything. Bar and street fights outside of bars will run their course in less than 30 seconds most of the time but the one guy that grabs an outside weapon is the one that goes to the hospital. It may just be down here in Savannah with two army bases nearby and a "code of honor" so to speak, but the unspoken word is that until someone else grabs something, you fight clean. Too many Rangers around that will literally kill you with a bottle and they don't usually grab them first. I've never properly had my ass beaten outside of the gym and I've knocked a few guys out cold and I've only had one try to grab my nuts out of a half assed takedown and he ate two knees to the face and ended up with twelve stitches and a broken orbital bone. My goal is to get whoever I'm fighting to the ground ASAP. Most people think they're an Anderson Silva badass on their feet but panic on their back and people calm down quickly and start listening to reason through the alcoholic blur when their air supply is cut off and they're staring at the curb. I've seen one roundhouse kick in a fight (a Swiss buddy of mine against some Army Joe) and it ended things promptly when the Army guy suddenly realized his sciatic nerve trauma was paralyzing his whole left side.
If we, the members of TiB, pitched in to buy you, Hotwheelz, a fleshlight: 1. Would you use it? 2. Can it be the creepy mouth one? 3. Would you put your dick in this? [/size] I can't use any of that without help.