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I dub him Jermajesty

Discussion in 'All-Star Threads' started by effinshenanigans, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    One of my best friends married a girl named Rockett. I think her parents must have gotten way to into the moon launches and dope back in the 60's.

    I had one friend with the last name of Lowe and when he and his girlfriend were expecting a child I offered to name the child for them. My input? Either Job or Barry Manny. Both my clever ideas were nixed.

    And then there's my Thai sister...in her native language her name means cucumber. Her best friend's name means lemon. She also knows 3 brothers whose family said "Fuck it" and gave them American names: Pepsi, Fanta, & Fresca. Pepsi grew up to be a 300lb lady-boy. It was probably because off all those damn sugary drinks in the house.

    My oldest niece was born in Thailand and got stuck with a first name that conjures up visions of a prison rape video in English, but is very pretty and poetic in the Thai language. I'm not even going to post it or the Thai meaning because it would be much to easy to Google. It's really that bad. Thankfully she goes by a nickname.

    EDIT: While working for UPS I had to deal with a woman whose first name was Ann Jamima. And yes, she was black. Who would do that to their poor child?
     
  2. Senna Vs. Prost

    Senna Vs. Prost
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    I met a girl named Honour, and she ended up eating the asshole of one of my friends at a party. Pretty spectacular name choice.
     
  3. NMW

    NMW
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    My son was seconds away from being called Jack Daniel ________, my wife never picked up on it when it was said out loud, but as soon as I gave her the birth registration papers to sign she realized it. He's now Tyler Daniel ________.


    *The name was never intended to have anything to do with the booze, I had suggested the name to honor her Nana who died 3 months before he was born, her name was Jackie. The Daniel part is after her dad.
     
  4. graffin226

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    Allow me:
     
    #24 graffin226, Dec 9, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. NurseNikki

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    My cousin married a guy with the last name of Walker. They had a son, whom she promptly named Luke Sky.

    I used to work with a Doctor named Michael Michaels.
     
  6. Bosox

    Bosox
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    BAM! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepper_Johnson

    I wrecked some pretty serious shop in Tecmo Super Bowl with good old Pepper. Fumble recoveries always went for 6 if he got his hands on the ball.
     
  7. NMW

    NMW
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    Sure but Pepper isn't his real name, it's just a nickname, his name is Thomas.

    I always thought of Pepper as a girls name as the only exposure I ever had to it was Pepper Potts from Iron Man.
     
  8. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    I used to work with a hippie with the last name of Walker. Unfortunately he spread his seed with another hippie and they named their son Freedom. This was in the 90's.

    And then there's the story of how I got named. My mother was so sure I was going to be a girl she'd already had me named Shannon Margret. The Shannon I could've dealt with (A fine Irish name), the Margret part not so much.

    And then I popped out with a penis which threw that whole plan right down the crapper. An overzealous nurse was having no part of my mother's confusion though and she demanded a name for the birth certificate. Right now.

    My mother after just having gone through 16 hours of labor and passing something the size of blue ribbon winning pumpkin from her body was in no mood to argue and told her "Just name him after his father."

    And that would've been all well and good except that the nurse misspelled Ronald as Roland which has caused me countless headaches throughout my life. And then there is my unusual middle name. I heard numerous stories about the origins of it ranging from it coming from a Civil War General we were related to to a favorite slave of the family. All were false.

    My daddy and I were named after the landlord's crippled son. That's one hell of a let down after thinking you were named after a general or at the very least thinking we were rich enough to own slaves.
     
  9. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Shanequa is the new "Sue". Sure, he may get beaten up a bit, but it builds character.

    Numbnuts. Seriously. He/she won't outgrow it until (s)he's 18 anyway, so it might as well fit. At 18 it becomes "fucknuts".

    Buckaroo. One of my all-time favourite movies is Buckaroo Banzai. Deal.


    And I'd call the dog Frank.
     
  10. Allord

    Allord
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    I've been saying it for years, but if I could change my name to anything it'd be "Justin Time"

    Professor/Friend/Mother/Parole Officer: Allord...You're late...
    Allord: No I'm not, I'm Justin Ti-
    Professor/Friend/Mother/Parole Officer:THAT WASN'T FUNNY THE LAST FORTY TIMES

    It'd be exceptionally useful in my case because I'm constantly late.
     
  11. cllrbone11

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    Marq. Pronounced just like Mark, but with a q. Maybe Marqus as a full name. I can't wait. Every time he introduces himself he'll have to say "My name's Marq with a q. Yes, M-A-R-Q. Is there a problem?" Damn kid.
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Celebrities should not be allowed to have kids, period. It's bad enough they give them these monstrously retarded names, but the birth them into an industry that is nothing but the epitome of evil. Just look what happened to the Little Rascals. All dead.

    I threatened my wife during her pregnancy that I would register our kid to be named Dracula while she was still layed up in the hospital bed. I'm not a goth or anything, I just wanted to scare her with the dumbest possible name I could think of. I really had her going for a while, too. Sucker.
     
  13. atcmh

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    Your just daring someone to put this link up:

    Shaniqua don't live here no more

    In the realm of funny names, I went to a restaurant where our Chinese immigrant waiter changed his first name from his native one to one that would help him better blend in with his newly adopted home country....Bubba. When he introduced himself we almost cracked up on the spot, but she seemed used to it and was a good waiter so no complaints.

    Focus: I always thought that Yomama would be a great first name to have to create hours of confusion and fun for a boy. This name would work along the same lines as Sue or Shaniqua in that he would have to toughen up quick.
     
  14. Tibbsy

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    Equally if he was called Pepper, Doctor would be an acceptable profession...


    Focus: "George Washington Bridge" has a nice ring to it
     
  15. BakedBean

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    I'm naming my first son Hulk Smash.

    That's not first and middle names, that's all first name there, buddy. He'd end up either mega-awesome or a complete head case, but either way I'd be setting him up for a boredom-free life.
     
  16. hoju

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    Dr. Acula would agree.*

    Focus: My friend's kid is named Skywalker Cruise _______. Although awesome, his last name isn't Missile.

    *stolen from Mitch Hedberg.
     
  17. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    Matthew McConaughey's nephew is named Miller Lyte McConaughey.

    I personally know a guy named Stainles Steele. (Note the singular 's' on the end)

    My first name is Brooklyn. White girl from NC, no connection to NY... the name is becoming more popular now but 28 years ago my parents were pioneers (or just weird).

    My dad wanted to name my brother Wolfgang. He lost.

    One of my client's last name is Dick... and her husband's name is Richard. He goes by Dick Dick. Amazing or awful, I can't decide.
     
  18. TX.

    TX.
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    Male or female, I'm naming my firstborn Par-Par. In junior high we headed over to Chili's/TGI Friday's/other craptastic generic chain every weekend and used that as our name. Nothing's funnier to a group of 14 year olds than hearing, "Par-Par, party of 6, your table's ready."

    I knew a girl named Precious Love. That name makes me want to hurl.
     
  19. ryan mc

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    I'm sad now because Bono named his kid Memphis. I was going to name my son that and only tell him it was an acronym for making easy money pimpin' hoes in style after he turned 18.

    We used to say it all the time in high school as a way of saying you were having a good day. And I just like the name. In conclusion, fuck Bono.
     
  20. Disgustipated

    Disgustipated
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    My son's name is Seth. His mother, prior to birth, wanted to name him Memphis. I put my foot down as that would get him beaten up every day of his school life in Australia. He can thank me later. He's especially lucky as one day I found the baby book she made up for him and had written on the "Names for our Baby" page: Menphus. He can thank me for not getting beaten up twice daily.

    The list is a bit arbitrary. What about forerunners Peaches Geldof (daughter of Sir Bob) or Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence (daughter of Michael Hutchence)? I think they may even share the same mother, but I refuse to search it as she's an ugly mutt.
     
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