If I can't have you, I don't want nobody Baby.

Other than establishing a pattern of behaviour, I'm not quite sure what you think reporting this to the police would do. What crime has been committed? Who's pressing charges? And what would her reporting it to her workplace achieve, other than embarrassing her? Saving people from their bad decisions, without their consent and assistance, is difficult at best.

Not that I'm at all bitter about a history of getting involved in cases of far more clear cut abuse than this, only to have the abused partner go back to the abuser repeatedly. (And not at all that that I feel residual guilt about cutting the abused friends out of my life after the third or so time they went back to him/her).

Aaaanyway. What I actually wanted to say: I find the discrepancy between this thread, where everyone is more or less decrying jealousy, and a previous thread, where everyone was appalled at the concept of open relationships, highly entertaining. Carry on.

 

I never dated a jealous psycho. Thank the good lord for that. But, I know people who are and/or did. I have two good stories about the jealous, insecure type.

Story the first:
I am at a pool party with a bunch of friends when I casually mention that the night before I attended a burlesque show at a bar. A girl present says "Wait? Aren't you dating <name>?" To which I reply "uh...yeah. Sort of. We just started." This answer is entirely not satisfactory to her and prompts "And, she let you go to this show?" I inform her there is no allowing me to go anywhere, the conversation, if it had happened(which it didn't) would have been "I'm going to a burlesque show tonight with friends, do you want to come with? No? Ok, I'll see you tomorrow than." She then went into a whole thing about how if you're dating someone you're not allowed to go to such activities without permission and permission would never be given. She now dates a guy who as far as I can tell as no soul, if he had a soul prior to their dating it has been crushed and stripped away.

Story the second:
I knew a couple which embodied the term "misery loves company." For all intents and purposes they were relationship junkies, they have to say that they are in a relationship, no matter how horrible and dysfunctional it was. I heard it described to me once as the difference between a drug addict and a non-addict drowning in the ocean because they are holding a heavy rock. The normal person drops the rock so he can float, the druggie holds onto it even when everyone is telling him to drop it by saying "No! This is my rock! I have to keep it." Their rocks were relationships.

On her part there was numerous insane incidents, though to be fair she had a reason to be jealous and insecure since he ALWAYS cheated on her, but she always forgave him(see relationship junkie): She would routinely show up to boy's nights out, or try to thwart boy's night out by showing up to his house 20 minutes before everyone was supposed to leave. She would show up to his house all hours of the day and night, and ring the bell furiously until she was let in. If no one was home she would sit in her car outside for hours if necessary until he came home. She would call all of his friends asking where he was and what he was doing. Anything, and literally anything could prompt a violent outburst which normally consisted of screaming, door slamming, occasionally hitting, and running out of the house then laying her palm on the bell till she was let back in. And, when I mean anything it could be something as simple as him saying "So Scarlett Johansson is pretty hot" which would trigger the crying scream of "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"

Oh, the best for her though is I once the one who was blamed for all his cheating. Because, I didn't do anything to stop it, and thereby encouraged it. According to her I was supposed to intervene anytime he spoke to another girl and bring up his girlfriend.

On his part: He obviously made her stop talking to all of her guy friends because you can't trust them not to sleep with her. Generally keeping tabs on her, calls when she gets out of work, gets home from work. etc. Though, the funniest was at least from my perspective was when everyone went out to a bar/club together. He would follow her to the bathroom, wait outside the door for her and then walk her back to where everyone else was hanging out. If any guy looked at her during this walk he would get in their face demanding they not look at her. Fun times.

 

I've never had to deal with any of this shit. I bet you all are jealous.

 

This is like the fifth time on this board that you've perfectly described a previous relationship or romantic experience of mine. We have either fucked the same people or this is way, way too common.

I have come to despise the type of man who desires arm candy but gets pissy if another man tries to approach said arm candy. It's so deeply fucked. He wants other men to acknowledge that he's awesome for pulling some pretty tail, but the appreciation should only be directed at him/his "accomplishment" at landing a hot girlfriend/wife. God forbid any appreciative glances get thrown at the person who works hard to maintain her attractiveness. That would mean she's getting too much attention and drawing the focus away from her dude and his "accomplishment." Ugh.

My high school boyfriend used to make me enter through the back door of certain restaurants so that no one would look at me on the way in. Yes, you read that correctly. There was one pizzeria in particular that was super popular with our age group, but you had to walk though an outdoor seating area in order to get inside. There was a concrete path that snaked through sections of wrought-iron tables, and it was common for you to spend time greeting one table after another on your way in to place your pizza order. We only got to do it once. After that, it was backdoor only. I was being "too smiley" with my friends and it was "making him uncomfortable."

Same guy: tried to convince me that he preferred me without makeup. As it turns out, he didn't. He just knew other men were less likely to pay me attention if I didn't have lipstick and mascara applied. Even now, when I hear a dude tell me that I look just fine without makeup, my spidey senses start tingling. And that sucks, because it's a genuinely sweet sentiment.

Tl;dr: Jealous guys suck.

 

funny what going through your 2nd marriage will do. my wife just doesn't give a shit.

i was in a bad mood earlier and my wife said she was going to call up a female friend of mine - that i have had relations with several years ago (and my wife just met a couple of months ago) to take care of my pissy mood.

she said, and i quote, " I'm going to ship you over to ____________ to have her babysit your ass until Tuesday...maybe she'll get your mind right."

and i am sure she was being 100% honest.


her first husband was one of these controlling, stalker assholes that has already been described in this thread. what's worse are the stories my wife tells me about her former in-laws. apparently the father was exactly like the dude described in the opening post.


basically, the only time either one of us gets remotely excited about is if either one is going out of town (like me to the hunting camp, or her making a trip somewhere out of town with family - camping or something) - we just require a check in letting the other know we have made it to the destination safely. after that, we know the other will call/check in when they can.

 

I learned being the jealous type isn't going to get you anywhere, and listening to this song has cemented my philosophy.


I've had one jealous girl and this was only one slice of the crazy stuffed crust pizza with all the toppings. The set-up for this is that I always keep my apartment clean on a day to day, just a personal thing. I doubly clean it when I have guests coming over. At the time CrazyFace basically had been a barnacle on my ass and I wasn't able to clean. So Mad Men was coming on and I invited a few people to come over to watch it. The guys cancelled, but the girls I invited cancelled. CrazyFace thought I lied about ever inviting the guys, and got pissed that I cleaned up for the girls that came over. She decided to throw a hissy fit once the girls got there, and closed the door in the bedroom to loudly talk on the phone with her sister while I just sat outside to watch Mad Men with the people that came. She later escalated this and tried to get me to sleep on my futon while she took my bed. FYI, she lived 10 minutes away and if she was that pissed could have gone home. On top of that every time she came over and my apartment was super clean she'd start a fight.

 

I agree with this. I dated a girl for about a year for the first 3 months it was great, then the crazy came out. I'll stop to say that during those first few months I was the jealous one. I was 21 and had never had a girlfriend before. I didn't act on any of the jealous feelings I had but to say her getting hit on bugged me would be an understatement even though she always handled those situations with grace and never did anything to make me jealous. Plus in terms of looks she was just completely out of my league, I still don't know how she could have been physically attracted to me in any way.

Then the roles completely switched. I don't have a whole lot of women in my life who I call friend, like 2. She was adamant about getting me to spend as little time with them as possible and that she be present whenever I was with them.

And when I simply pointed out to her that one of her guy friends was quite obviously trying to get in her pants, holy shit. For that matter, most of her guy friends seemed like they wanted to bang her (which she was totally in denial about) which I could get over if they weren't twats. It was like she had a group of guys who she friend zoned who just hung around skulking and jerked it with each others tears while being passive aggressive towards me and I'm assuming anyone else she dated. Another thing that was a mild annoyance was after a while she just became oblivious to when she was being hit on. No, people are not just that friendly unless they want to bang you.

Anyways I went to Korea and was there for a couple of months before I found out she was cheating on me and been single ever since.

 

In my experience, men are the worst for this. And absolutely bi-polar to boot. They'll cheap-shot anybody "Making eyes at what's theirs" meanwhile they're serial cheaters. It's sociopathic behaviour. I can't justify this kind of behaviour with the exception of pure selfishness. Man or woman, you truly only care about yourself when you act this way. It breeds the Patrick Batemans of the world.

 

I think it manifests differently in men and women generally, but guys are way more likely to challenge the other person they see as a threat.

Speaking of sociopathic tendencies about a month ago my friend started dating some girl. We go out to the bars and she was fucking insanely jealous. On top of that she tried to get him to fight people at the bar for her. I thought those kind of girls were urban legends but sure as shit in front of my own two eyes she tried to get him to start a fight with some guy because she didn't get along with that guys girlfriend. Horrifying really.

 

That happens all the time in the rural bars in which I spent way to much time in, women who enjoy starting shit then backing away and letting the boyfriends trade punches. Fucked up really but I haven't ever witnessed it in any city bar.

 

To be fair, the guys don't have to fight each other. It would be so much easier to say "Fuck these cackling hens" and go get drunk at the bar together. But they're in The Yard and feel they have to, a combination of alpha male machismo, sticking up for your girlfriend and not wanting to look like a coward in front of everyone.

 

I hold fast saying there is no more an ignoble creature than the modern male. Though this is an old story isn't it? It's no secret S. Florida has its share of ponces, but I think it is a particularly rife area for buffoonish, posturing, insecure men. And age, is only a number. It's depressing when a 43 year old is trying his damnedest to impress you with his toughness, recounting some outlandish story that is either embellished or outright farce. My friends, I appreciate them dearly, but some of them are sniveling, small minded little turds.

Case in point. My ex-roommate/best friend hit it off with a friend of ours. She was looking for a quick thing because she was lonely and he was there. When she wouldn't date him he started calling her a whore and a slut. Why? Because he is a coward and a child. Do you know how many man-children there are out there? Fragile little creatures.

Men have to own things too. Especially women. They have to rub their scent all over a person, like a dog would. There is a marked difference between some adolescent chest thumping display and a charming man that can elucidate his thoughts and feelings to secure a woman. What bothers me is how people fall for the former. Not only this, but these are the same types of guys that will ignore their friends, proceeding to crawl, nay, burrow, directly up their girlfriend's ass.

Then everyone wonders why their relationships don't last.

 

The whole guy getting mad at you for looking at their girl thing is fucking hilarious. One time I had drank some confidence (see: stupidity) and had my huge friend with me while out at a bar. Guy walks in with an absolute dime piece as we're walking out. He obviously gets mad we're looking at her, I just stop and say "What the fuck are you looking at me mad for? You're taking her home, and I'm not. Have a goodnight buddy and be happy." He had an angry confused look on his face, I don't remember him responding but I did keep walking pretty fast.

 

Oh shit. If I had a nickel for every loud mouthed girl that started shit and expected me to back it up I'd be a rich man.

Random Girl sitting with me to the biggest most prison tattooed guy at the bar: "Take a picture it lasts longer."

Me: "What the fuck?"

Random Girl: "He's looking at me."

Me: "So?"

Random Girl: "You should do something about it."

Me: "No, I shouldn't."

Random Girl: "You don't love me?"

Me: "I just fucking met you. Go away before you get my ass kicked by some maniac."

 

About a year ago I was in the boyfriend's kitchen getting a glass of water. I opened the cabinet and as I did, a glass fell out and shattered on the counter.

After I gathered my bearings I saw him coming at me, with a somewhat angry look on his face. At least I took it to be anger, he was likely coming to see what the commotion was all about.

I backed against the fridge and screamed at the top of my lungs "Don't you fucking touch me! I did nothing wrong!"

After a few minutes he managed to calm me and asked what happened. All I could manage between hysterics was "Nothing, nothing, I just talked to a guy for too long one night and he came after me afterward." I didn't go any further than that. But let's just leave it at me knowing the extreme side of jealousy and the lasting effects of said jealous insecure fucktard. And that's why I have absolutely no patience at all for the pricks on my caseload that abuse their wives/girlfriends.

College boyfriend. Please, die in a fire. No one will miss you, I promise.

 

I'm not really the jealous type. Why would I be? If girls are hitting on my man, that reaffirms my excellent taste. And if he's feeding into it and trying to make me jealous, that means my excellent taste has come to an end and he can say goodbye to carefully researched blowjobs because ain't nobody got time to have others make them feel bad.

Jealousy is dumb. We should all just have sex with each other all the time.

 

Frankly, if this doesn't end this thread, I don't even know you people anymore.

 

Too late.