I don't collect anything. I hate clutter. But, since it's 3:30 in the fucking morning and I can't sleep, I figured I would make myself useful and make some sort of attempt at cleaning the house. I figured out what Mrs. Noland collects. Everything. Here's a power bill from 2008. That's useful. A foot high stack of magazines with "interesting" articles she has yet to read. The one on top is from January of last year. An estimate to paint a house we no longer own from a company we didn't use. We keep this for "tax purposes". A broken flashlight. I can fix this. No. You can't. Sure, I can. Just not right now. Uh huh. A Ziploc bag with my daughter's name on it. We should keep this. Why? It says Catherine. I see that, but it's just a bag, throw it away. But it has her name on it. Why we're keeping it? It has her name on it. That's a fact, not a reason. Why are we keeping it? It has her name on it. The garbage men are going to love me Friday morning.
This is circumstantial. If I were single again and met a 28 year old virgin I would run for the hills.
Autographed books. Not many, but my collection includes Stephen King's "Firestarter", James Ellroy's "American Tabloid" trilogy and George Will's "Men at Work." Oh, and the Bible.
I collect beer. No Budweiser/Coors/Whatever. All of it is beer from small craft breweries. most very high in alcohol content and most very rare. I trade beer with people from across the country. Half of my closet, and most of my pantry is full of beers I plan to drink sometime in the next few years. Stouts, Ales, and occasional IPA (you don't save these for very long as they have a tenancy to lose hop flavor over time). Most of you probably think this sounds weird. Think of it more like collecting fine wine or scotch. Not all beer is swill for frat boys. remember that, and check out the menu for something new next time you want a Coors Light. You may just discover something you like.