You know when you bake chicken in the oven and the skin gets all brown and crispy and awesome? Yeah that shit is horrible for you...really I should have figured.
It is a surreal experience, but oddly not gross. Just make sure you have plenty of towels. Focus: I met a lot of politicians in a previous job, and let me assure you I have not slept well since. Yes, some are solid. But a lot of them are the kind of people you would not trust to run a hot dog stand. Most people have actual lives to live and are uninterested in and/or apprehensive about politics. Thus they rely almost exclusively on heurestic cues when voting, allowing white-teethed shiny suits with no substance to rise to the top. People who favour democracy should stay away from the democratic process for their own good.
I was referring more to the covering a person in baked beans and mashed potatoes part of sploshing. Maybe I just have a problem with stray food.
Well at least now I can more succinctly describe my evenings to people. This is another reason for the "No fat chicks" rule. If you don't have a concave belly, how can you expect to keep the beans from running down your sides? This is another reason to build a mashed potato volcano, and at that point why not add a couple sausage villagers? Anti-Focus: I've seen a lot of things that I can't unsee, and I have no regrets about any of them.
This is clearly the statement of a man who has never seen his mother in the middle of an Eiffel Tower. I would happily unsee both of those incidents.
Uh "both"? As in twice? I *heard* the bed squeaking once when my Mom was having sex and I'm still scarred over it 20 years later.
Sorry, I didn't mean to imply you shouldn't share. We all have our issues, but you make the roots of yours oh so clear.
Could have lived without knowing my dad was trading oral sex for rent when he owned apartments. Regular sex sure, but if it was head I know he was just being all creepy about it. Also he only rented to horrifyingly ugly meth addicts, so the unwelcome mental images are just the worst.
It's probably not a shock that what goes on behind hospital doors can be frightening. I've seen OBGYN docs bully a mother into having a C-section because it was late at night and he just wanted to get it over with and go home, despite the fact that it wasn't medically necessary. That's not even speculation, he actually said that aloud to one of the other nurses (hell, I could write an entire column of the travesties that occur on the maternity floor alone.) I've seen providers take patients off life support even though it was against the family's wishes. It's not uncommon for some providers to refuse to order pain medication because they think the patient is faking, trying to get a buzz, etc. as the patient sits there in obvious misery. The fact is that providers are people with their own beliefs, prejudices, and opinions. I liked it when I was a kid and thought doctors had nothing but your best interests in mind, and did what they did not for money but because they genuinely liked helping sick people. Some do, of course. But many (especially the older, burned out docs) go through the motions.
I could have happily gone through life having never known anything portrayed on HBO's Real Sex existed. Fat lesbian dildo parties, sploshing, nasty hippie mud sex . . . all are seared into my memory because of that show. Such is life.