IIIII'M Pickin'-Out-A-Drunk-Thread, FOR YOU! 8/5/11

I beg to differ. Of the three categories, as far as cooking goes, I'd pick liquor. Then beer. Then wine.

I love cooking with rum or whiskey bastes, vodka or bourbon sauces, caramelizing with ouzo or jager, tequila fajitas, or marinating in basically anything (including gin).

Beer goes great for marinades, bastes, sauces, and is excellent for braising. Lager, and olive oil as your base, along with your favorite seasonings (to include hot sauce, lemon/lime juice, apple juice, etc.), makes a killer marinade.

Wine is good for sauces.

 

How are you typing? Didn't your arms fall off last week?

Fuckin' shenanigans.

 

No, it's still on. It also still hurts like a motherfucker. Apparently, the wench who stabbed me for my blood donation fucked up somewhere, my vein is inflamed from my wrist to my armpit. "It's a 'normal' side effect." Can't wait for that customer satisfaction survey to come back. Still can't lift my left arm over my head without it hurting.

In other news, I'm getting a betta fish. I'm naming him Sailor Jerry.

 

And since I mentioned cooking with liquor, the "Flaming Dr. Pepper" goes surprisingly well with chicken.

Chicken breasts, marinated in what amounts to a drink as far a proportions go. Soak it in beer, add amaretto, throw in some regular light rum (not 151 yet, you want the taste of rum). Let it soak for a while, depending on the thickness of the meat; enough to really get it in there.

Then when you throw it on the grill, put a little bit of your favorite BBQ sauce on top, and gently pour enough Bacardi 151 so that it lights on fire (and really cooks on the glaze).

 

Why the fuck is my 58 year old dad watching Bridget Jones's Diary?

I can't take 9 months of this shit.

 

It's time to accept it. Now go get a pint of ice cream and curl up on that couch.


Awesome, awesome, climb today. Now off to a party with a bunch of math mega-nerds.

 

Fight it. Get another one, stick it in bowl, and place bets/shots on which one wins.

Not that I personally did it, but when I was in undergrad it was a big thing. Lame, yes, but the after parties were awesome. "My fish won!!! Here, have some of my vodka!" Easiest drunk ever.

 

Earlier today I was on the train when a woman sat down next to me covered in flour, and I thought "That's so nice, she must've had such a fun time baking." Then she started twitching and I was like "Wait a minute...that's not flour..."

 

An even better time than baking!

Reminds me of this classic bit:

 

Exit the Bronco: Enter the 1979 Trans Am!

No, I don't have a motherfucking mullet.

EDIT:

Here. It will get a new nose, body work, paint, rims, etc. It looks like this now, but will look awesome later. Tonka refuses to ride in anything "white and black like a fucking Dalmation, what the fuck is wrong with you????"

 

I have proof that you do indeed sir:

 

I'm white.

 

White trash.

 

Is this a metaphor for you meeting Chater at the game?

 

He said sausage, not lamb kabob.

 

Family golf tournament today. Somehow got put in a foursome with the former NHL player in the family. Too bad I suck at golf and he's, like, ridiculous. Not everyone can say things like "Yeah, so it was Steve Yzerman who phoned me to say that [his son] got traded because they couldn't reach his phone" as part of a normal conversation about what the kids are up to.

Also, I have distant cousins who style their hair as though they have permanent hockey hair. Not quite mullets. What the hell is wrong with them.

 

maybe it's an epidemic. When I stayed with my folks a few weeks I walkedin on my 60 year old pops watching "Enchanted" with a puzzled expression.

 

My dad watches Dancing With the Stars and all those crap shows with his girlfriend on a regular basis, yet after watching ten minutes of the Battlestar Galactica remake, he asked "What the fuck is this?"

So sad, really.

 

Boob tan lines are the silliest.