IIIII'M Pickin'-Out-A-Drunk-Thread, FOR YOU! 8/5/11

There needs to be some sort of rule set for being allowed to use self-checkout at the supermarket. I was just trying to get some fucking bananas and the whole gamut of people who shouldn't be using self-checkout was in front of me. There was

- Lady with a hundred fucking coupons (I was in her line)
- Lady with three toddlers throwing shit all over the place
- An old, computer illiterate couple with a checkbook in hand
- Dude with a full shopping cart

I ended up getting in one of the regular lines where someone with a full cart was just starting, I ended up beating the hundred coupon lady out of the store, she had already finished ringing all her items in when I got in line, but of course one of the coupons didn't read properly and she had to wait seven hours (might be exaggerating a bit here) for someone to help her.

The coupon lady kills me because when do ten out of ten coupons EVER ring in correctly the first go around with no employee overrides? Save everyone (including yourself) the trouble and get in a manned register line you dumb bitch.

 

BL1Y couldn't pay rent, so his parents took away his internet access.

In the realm of completely relevant and important things, there is a bag of flour in my kitchen. It's been opened and some of it used, but I have no idea when I bought it, why, or how it appeared on my counter three days ago.

 

I was at a big garden and greenhouse retailer a couple weeks ago and quick bought a plant and little pot. I drew a card with crayons and stuck it in with the plant after bedding it in the pot and surprised her with it when I arrived at her apartment that night. It was dead within a week. I'm sticking to bouquets from now on.

 

You lucky fucker. Sturgeon season doesn't open here for another 27 days.

 

I just woke up from one of those accidental 12 hours sleep sessions. Passed out at 12 last night, woke up at noon today. My body was telling me something.

I was wondering, who actually prefers hanging out in bars rather than a get together with some friends and friend's friends at a house? It seems when I go out that people just call up some friends to go out to bars, and then stick with that group the entire time. I've been going with the intention of meeting new people and nobody seems open to just going up and talking with a new group of people.

What say ye's of the idiotboard.

 

My wife just signed us up for a 5k. This evening. 3 miles, interspersed with 5 bars at which we drink aggressively for 30 minutes a piece.

And it is hotter than satan's asshole outside.

And I have to go to a wedding tomorrow.

Just call me Captain Tyne.

 

I hope you enjoy projectile vomiting.

 

This is me "stimulating" this conversation. Massaging it's balls, jerking it off, and making sure everything is vibrating.

 

NSFW

Yeah, me too, girl. Me too.

 

Tits and Tats. My favorite.

 

Mine too.

 

My boss is going on another vacation, so I get another week off. I know what you're thinking, you should go somewhere. Well when the doctor goes on vacation, I get the week off because he doesn't want to pay me.

 

Dear Internet, what the FUCK is this thing?



I have a vague idea of what a Nikki Minge is, but the reality is far too Lovecraftian and 80s swapshop for my brain to comprehend. I'm assuming it's a singer, not another trust fund celebrity. It's also eating fried chicken on Good Morning America with a tit hanging out.

 

The chicken is obviously photoshopped in. Nicki Minaj is actually a pretty popular rapper -- definitely the most currently popular female rapper, and considering her debut went Platinum in this market, I'd say she has a claim to being one of the most popular, period (she claims to have been getting paid 50k per verse before her debut even dropped).

She's interesting for a lot of reasons, even though her rapping is kinda mediocre.

 

Chicken not photoshopped? She's not even holding in that picture! Look at her fist.

EDIT: I'm doing some research and now it's not so clear. Watching the videos I don't see it, but maybe it from a different segment. That pic is super weird though.

Rap concerts in general are mediocre to terrible for a variety of reasons, and Central Park is a really bad place for a rap concert in the first place. She's also not even that great of a rapper, so it doesn't surprise me in the least that she sounds bad (which I think she does). I wouldn't have gone to that concert for free.

 

Are you trolling? She's clearly holding the turkey leg in her mouth in the first minute of the video.

Edit: If you were trying to troll me into watching the video to verify, it worked, I wouldn't have watched it otherwise.

 

I'm no prude, but the worst part is her tit slipping out. You can make shitty, repetitive music, and you can look like a neon Sasquatch, but for fuck's sake conduct yourself with dignity. You're going on national TV to sing a song geared towards young girls so you wear something your tit will inevitably fall out of. Fuck you. That's rude, cheap, and you didn't even have a funky nipple clamp like "Ms. Jackson because I'm nasty." It's been done before, and better. Get a new bag of tricks, skank.

That whole scene just fucking hurts my soul today. times like this I MISS The Spice Girls. Especially Ginger. Redheads.

 

Care to give any other examples? I'm really interested to hear your thoughts about this.