No, sir. Once the allotted amount of male effort has reached its quota, she will then assess said effort and determine if she should contribute. At this point, the prize of "giving back to the relationship" may be rewarded.
I don't want to say that I flat-out don't enjoy seeing a guy I'm with having a good time, because I do. It's just that I don't find giving blowjobs to be particularly sexy. It's just not my thing. It takes me out of it because I think about the "he pees out of it" thing and the fact that I don't have the best gag reflex as well as the fact that I'm just not very good at giving blowjobs. Then, I'm all in my head and the mood is completely destroyed. It has just become easier to say "I don't do that" than to try again and lose the mood.
As my rep said to xray, she is young and has never had what she considers a real relationship. She'll learn. No flames will speed that process up.
Oh dear. The pleasure of giving is being the one in total control. Watching him react to the things you're doing. Closing your eyes and feeling his bodies reactions to what you're doing. The only reason you're not so good at giving them is because you're too self conscious about whether or not you're doing it right I bet. I know for a fact a dude would rather have a half assed BJ than none at all. Simply put, you're reading far too much into it. Relax, learn (he'll help with that or he should anyway) and know the utmost pleasure can be attained by pleasuring someone else.
EVERY man does it better himself. We are our own fantasy Palm. Besides, we're not 16 at the Drive-In anymore. That was the last time an angry handy-J was awesome.
I think paying money for a handjob no matter how skillful/Asian she is just plain dumb. It's like winning the championship game because the other team forfeited. Sure you won, but meh. If it's a mutual sexual encounter, you're hard and she's wet. Gut that fucking fish.
Yep. Not giving oral to your partner, male or female, especially when it feels so, so good, is selfish. If you're not willing to be selfLESS, and gain pleasure from giving pleasure, during the most intimate of relationship parts, then you have other issues. Imo
I always assumed this was true, and I don't think I'd given a hand job since I was like 14, until my insane boyfriend ASKED ME FOR A HANDJOB. Who does that?? I was floored, but he seemed to enjoy it, despite the fact that I kept saying dumb things like "I feel like you must be a lot better at this than I am," and "are you sure you don't want me to just put it in my mouth?"
Maybe, but I'm sure there are things you could do that would give your partner pleasure that you may not want to do. For instance, I'm not willing to put my tongue in a girl's ass, no matter how much she may want to. I don't consider myself a selfish lover by any stretch, but by your standard I would be. And in the end, isn't that exactly the point of the thread? Stuff we won't do. Ok, lostalldoubt isn't willing to put a dick in her mouth. I know several girls that won't, and I don't think they're fucked up. While that position may not appeal to me in a lover, not sure we should pull out the tar and feathers either.
I think there's a line between required sex stuff and butt stuff/all other stuff. Not wanting to tongue an ass seems more reasonable because it's not something you HAVE to do in order to have sex. But if you're not pleasuring a peener or vajayjay, you're not really having sex. Yeah we all pee out of those, and when I think about it now, fully clothed at work, it kinda grosses me out, but in the moment, rubbing, fingering, licking and digging my face the fuck in makes me throb, very much NOT because I'm thinking about her returning the favour, but because making her squirm and moan is hot in and of itself. You didn't ask for advice, lostalldoubt, but you seem like good people and I like encouraging blowjobs. Shegirl's self-conscious/being in control point is spot on. The highest quality BJ is not a submissive act in any way. I truly hope this isn't the case, but you make it seem like all your previous partners are faceless, dick-having strangers with whom you have an almost adversarial relationship with. True, you're not going to have some deep, meaningful connection with everyone you fuck, but during the deed, they are your partner. Treating them as such will only make sex with your eventual one and only that much better (you'll have that connection PLUS the experience of driving past partners wild). In the meantime, you may be missing out on an entire aspect of good sex (getting off on selflessly pleasuring your partner in general, not BJs specifically). Re: handjobs. I was totally in the "ain't no one can stroke mine like me" camp until about four years ago, when I was gloriously proven wrong. With lots of lube and spit, slow but constant and focused head rubbing, and virtually no mouth action (I'm talking 90/10 HJ/BJ), it can be, I shit you not, greater than any blowjob ever. I remember sitting up to play with her tits while she stroked, and it was just too much of a sensory overload, so after making the most ridiculous face ever, I laid back down and closed my eyes, feeling like a helpless puddle of cum. Then she did it again.
Stay away from my butt. No scat play. I will not go near your butt. Keep your tongue out of my ass. I will not put my tongue in your ass. We've talked before about a guy I dated who liked to 'pop' my cervix with the head of his penis on particularly hard thrusts. That's a mid-coitus ender. Fucking done. Asshole. edit: A blowjob, done properly, is a completely dominant act.
My wife has said this for years. Everyone I know when this is brought up, completely disagrees with her. I'm fifty-fifty on whether its a submissive act, or a dominant act. Now its a completely different story right when I jizz from a blowjob from my wife,,,, that part is dominant. SHE decides what to do with the aformentioned jizz. We've had long discussions on why I don't get to control my jizz. At first I felt like "its my jizz, I get to do with it what I want. On your face, mouth, titties, house cat, ongoing inspired Jackson Pollock I've been working on.......wherever" I guess her opinion is that she worked for the jizz, she gets to to tell me where to apply it. What's weird now is that the house cat knows when its jibber time, and its like ringing the dinner triangle after a long Conestoga trip. However my art has suffered. But I've mellowed my yellow as of lately, because you know, she's an amazing boner sucker.
tl;dr the biggest one being don't make me do anything illegal. As for other stuff, nothing anal except my-dick-in-your-ass sex; no scat/piss; if I cum on you, it stays on you until you shower/wash it off (one girl tried to wipe it on me when I came on her tits); and if you blow me, you swallow. Somewhat-Related Story. The most recent time I've had a legit shot of having sex was a year ago (not that I try hard). A 17-year-old friend of a friend (who I had never met in person) wanted me to buy her beer in exchange for "whatever I wanted" (I was 21). Even hinted at a MFF threesome with her friend. I passed on it because the prospect of the wrong people finding out I'd bought alcohol for and had sex with an underage girl did not please me (I live in a small town, word gets around) she was a slam pig (as was her friend)
It's not a dominant or a submissive act. It's a SEX act. By all means, tell a guy getting his dick sucked every day how he's wrapped around a girl's finger. He could use the laugh. I don't consider it submissive because it's mutual. Consensual. And that's the way it should be.
Gee, you sound like a fucking peach. Why am I not surprised the last time you got a chance to have sex was a year ago? Focus: There are few things I wouldn't try if my partner were into it. I'm not going to be able to cope with the more disgusting bodily functions (vomit/poop), and I'd don't think I could get past the jealousy enough to have another guy involved. Other than that, game on.