Even with Jerry, I put up a triple-double (with 6 steals and 7 blocks) on NBA 2k11. Fuck. Yeah. Bithces.
Beer shits refers to a phenomenon which is caused overconsumption of alcholic beverages whether they be wine, spirits or brewed beverages effecting in said consumer a form of osmotic diarrhea. *smokes pipe* I may or may not have worn my sports coat* while typing. This may or may not be a result of drinking Woodford Reserve. *It makes me feel like Carl Sagan
Walgreens? Y'all are gettin' all classy on me. I just picked up some wine at the Shell station. I was all set. I thought "Today's been a shitty, no-good, annoying day...but wine!" Now I can't find the corkscrew.* You stop this right now, universe. This shit ain't funny. *Yes, gas station wine actually has a cork. Who knew?
Watch Excalibur. John Boorman filmed his topless daughter getting pseudo banged by Gabriel Byrne. That probably made for a few awkward dinners. Sometimes Russell can be a good kinda crazy a la Music Lovers (make sure to keep an eye out for Admiral Piett!) Although that movie does end with Glenda Jackson getting fondled/eaten out in an insane asylum so................... And maybe the less said about Lisztomania, the better. You know, fake giant penises and all.
This dilemma is almost as bad as back in my smoking days when I had cigarettes but no matches or lighters. Another reason that electric ranges suck...you can't light cigarettes on them (yes, I have tried, and really hard too). Good luck to you. I am trying to think if you can McGuyver something. Surely someone else here has been in this unfortunate situation. Come on folks, LET'S PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER AND HELP THIS MAN!
I did get a funny look when I got home and had a Dunkin Donuts coffee in one hand and wine in the other. According to my dad*, it sends mixed messages. My brother used to live in Ontario, and I found that shit hilarious. People of civilized nations, did you know that in Ontario, they have to buy their beer from the government, or at the monopoly-granted Beer Stores? And no, that's not some generic name. That's actually what it's called. The Beer Store. Mya....I've both found the corkscrew (Swiss army knife, I'd marry you if I could)...and done the lighting-a-cigarette-on-the-stove thing before. And in the past, I've used many a ballpoint pen to shove the cork down into the wine. I'm a classy fellow. *I'm Bl1y'ing it between graduation and job starting.
I've used a drywall screw and a claw hammer to get corks out. Fucking classy. Leave the screw in the cork and you can put it back in the bottle even.
See, I knew we were an industrious group. I can't remember when I took a pain pill, but think that it must have been long enough ago to take another. Right?
I don't see why you ask us. You know we're going to say yes either way. Wait. THAT is why you ask us. Right.
I need to concentrate on the matters at hand. These hookers aren't going to climb in my trunk and kill themselves...
Sonofabitch. I just remembered that I'm playing at a wedding tomorrow. Better sober up. Full volume pipe organ on a hangover is a real bitch.