Maybe the question is slightly outdated, then. Maybe it should be "What makes a person an adult?" (Gah, that sounds so PC, and I don't mean it that way.) I can't really think of any attributes that are gender specific, and I think that's a sign of the time. Back in our parents' or grandparents' younger days the ideal woman was a subservient wife, a good homemaker and a nurturing mom. Men were the providers who were strong and silent...not showing too much emotion. "Thank God we have a man in this house to make some decisions for everybody! Can you imagine if the women were left to their own devices to make decisions for themselves??" Nowadays society is more accepting of the fact that not all women are wives, homemakers and mothers. And, it's ok for men to show emotions other than pride and anger.
Real Men don't wear pink. Real Men don't cry, at least where anyone can see them. Real Men pony up and do the shit no one else can. Real Men put on a '63 Les Paul and let it rip. Real Men don't take shit. From anyone. Real Men treat women well. Real Men take a beating when they need to. *Disclaimer. I'm absolutely none of the things described above.
Does your husband enjoy wearing pink in the Spring as well? Focus: To me, a man is a guy who knows exactly who he is and owns it. He also takes accountability for his actions.