Im going down, Im yelling Tinder!

I'm pretty surprised you guys have trouble getting dates on the websites. I can pretty much go on dates when I want. Must be due to my Ryan Gosling good looks and the Ferrari I drive.

Profile construction is overrated. Dating is about attraction first and then going from there. So long as there's no anime or furry shit in your profile, and so long as you don't come off overly boring, not sure if I girl wouldn't talk up a guy the found attractive.

 

This is assuming the other person has been honest in their profile interests. The other part of that is general attraction to what they see. When I used to online date on OkCupid, I tried putting in some heinous, sexist shit in my profile, and it honestly didn't even matter. I would get a fair number of messages and whatnot, and when I added the bitter women-hating shit, it didn't change. People don't read that stuff if they already find you attractive. A few would call me an asshole.

 

I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid, and I adore her, but holy shit I went through a line of crazies to get there. Highlights:

- Girl who fucked me on the first date (Dec 2012), tried to hit me up for cash the next morning, spent the next two years messaging me saying I took advantage of her 'poor emotional state' and 'limited financial circumstance' and should give her money to make it all better. I'm fucking glad she doesn't know my first name or that I moved.

- Girl on Okc seems a bit chubby in photos, I can deal with that I'm a grade A fatass, and she mentions in our messages she's on the heavy side and I mention that's cool she seems interesting anyway. Go see her and the photos were... misleading. I've already said i'm 'cool' with her being heavy but, well, I drive a manual transmission car and I couldn't get it into reverse because her leg was too wide. My eventual escape plan was her apartment being so full of bugs I just couldn't deal with it and bailed

- Another chubby girl, I can deal with it this time but holy self esteem baggage. We knew we could only be casual because she was moving to Amsterdam a few weeks later. Apparently because I called her cute once and had sex with her twice this makes me god's gift to her and 'the best guy ever' - she drunk dials me from Amsterdam trying to convince me to move there with her because i'm so perfect.. and because she blew some guy and he didn't return the favour and guys are all assholes in Europe. I had to block her on skype cos she just wanted me to look at her more and like... I have a life / shit to do on skype rather than get worked up over a girl half a world away.

- Things were going good with a girl until she insisted we go see Pompeii. Holy fuck what a terrible movie. We got out and she went on for 20 min about how awesome it was. Nooooope

 

Not to derail thread, but all I want in life is online dating horror stories. Or just dating horror stories. Those and bad roommate stories are the best kind of stories in life.

 

I get my dating horror stories the hard way. Through alcohol and bad decisions. Call me old fashioned.

 

Not really. New York is stupidly crowded with a vast array of people, and has more single women than single men. By a fair margin. Sure you're not gonna be able to compete on suit-wearing and bank account with douchey finance bros, but they're not really your competition in any meaningful sense.

As a matter of fact, you could probably play up the Texas charm angle, and stand out from the (sometimes literally) unwashed masses of tight-jeaned brooklyn hipsters with dumb mustaches.

Plus NYC has tons of free stuff if you're creative, so as long as you're not dating somebody superficial and annoying, it's all good.

 

Also, New York State is the largest consumer of Country music. I don't think all of that stays outside of the city. Your crowd is there somewhere.

 

I've been online dating for the past four or so years, on and off. I started off on POF when I was 19 and had pretty low self-esteem, so that went about as well as you would expect. I actually casually dated a couple guys I met on there and hooked up with a few more. I also discovered OKC around this time and casually dated another guy that I met on there.

After a nearly three-year relationship ended around a year ago, I got back on OKC and went on a few dates and had some rebound sex with a half-Japanese, half-Belgian dude completely covered in tattoos. I also discovered Tinder around this time and used it to set up many dates which led to many hookups, the first of which was with a beard model also covered in tattoos.

You may remember my series of rants from this summer about my stalker ex-boyfriend. We also met on Tinder and he was also covered in tattoos (see pattern). He seemed like a great catch - really hot, family owns a well-known clothing company, decent in bed, etc., but ending up being bat-shit cray.

You would think I would stop using Tinder after this, but no. I basically immediately got right back on it and went on more dates/had more rebound sex. I use it on and off and go on dates when I have free time. Nothing too exciting lately, but I hooked up with a pro athlete this past weekend and am currently in talks with a couple to arrange a threesome.

My current FWB and I met on Fetlife, which isn't really online dating. He said he messaged me on OKC before, but I never replied to him. The majority of messages I get on there are the weirdest fucking shit, even though I made my profile super cunty in an attempt to ward off most guys.

I have no problem meeting people in person, but I can be pretty shy or kind of an asshole (depending on drunk level), so establishing some contact online first usually helps with that.

I also have plans to write a sexual memoir, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

 

Bundy Bear brings up a good point. Its one thing to date online, quite another to find a roommate.

In college, someone who was supposed to be a roommate dropped out last moment so I was forced to find another one. I used facebook. The person I found was the same age, kinda went to CU but was a complete fucking train wreck. Some highlights were he wouldn't leave the house for days. He'd literally wake up around noon, play madden all fucking day (on the only tv in the house mind you) go pass out in a sleeping bag (he didn't have a mattress) and did that for literally days on end consecutively.

So dating online, cool, pretty harmless. Finding a roommate online, fuck that.

...Anyway, anyone ever come across someone they know on a dating site?

 

Does finding girls you went to college with on Backpage count? Cause that happened.

 

I joined match many, many years ago. I went on a few first dates that never amounted to much, the most exciting thing about them was one gal and I witnessed a head-on collision while entering our chosen meeting location. We were first to the cars and applied pressure to wounds and comforted the driver while waiting for the ambulance. Then we went and had dinner. Another girl I met on match just happened to know one of my neighbors and after we emailed but never met, just happened to be sitting on his couch when I went over there. It was a huge coincidence, as she never knew where I lived or anything. That turned into a short relationship.

More recently, I signed up at cougar life, just because I listened to the ads on Sirius for so long. It was never my intention to meet women, as I was with my wife, but the advertising got to me and I had to check it out. My wife finally started sending all the cougar life emails to my spam folder and makes fun of me for signing up.

 

Of course. I saw multiple girls I knew when I flipped through OKCupid. Ive also seen the same sets of girls, not that I know, but I recognize, on OKC, Tinder, and Hinge. Seeing people I know on Tinder isn't surprising at all. Ive swiped through thousands of girls, coming across some that I know is expected and inevitable.

 

I ran across the crazy psycho ex of a coworker. I also ran across the Peruvian ex of mine who dumped me out of no where. I also ran across the best friend of another gorgeous girl I used to date (she was in the photo and I recognized her). I ran across the ex best friend of my sons mom. I've ran across several people from high school (who all lied in their profiles). It is inevitable you run across someone you know eventually.

Focus: Online dating. Have you done it and how does it work out for you? Did any of the real-life meet ups work out well?

I've been dating online off and on since the days of yahoo chatrooms and AIM (probably close to 12 years). As with any poor bastard who has dated online I initially met up with a few people who did catfish me and didn't look anything like their photos. As a result of me meeting an oompa loompa once at the beginning of my foray into online dating I got pretty good at spotting the bullshitters. It's been a mixed bag of hit and miss. My initial experience was freaking awesome with Match.com. Out of all three women I went out with, each of them was fun and brought something to the table. The hot latina was funny and energetic. The tall blonde was intelligent, classy, covered in tattoos, and incredibly hot. She was 100% absolute marriage material but wasn't in a good place in her life when we met. The brunette turned out to be a one year relationship and we still talk to this day. Yes, I did have sex with all three. My second and third times on Match were less successful probably because I didn't put as much effort into it.

OKCupid I've had great success meeting very high quality women mixed in with some psychos and a ton of flakes (flakes I find are typically in their mid 20s). Some of the women I met on there I'm still very good friends with to this day. Since I'm not in an active relationship I still use OKC (profile can be found here for you curious people)

Overall my experience has been mostly positive but if you expect to find anyone or anything worthwhile I've found you get more attention with two things: Have a well written profile and at least semi professional pictures taken. A well written profile will get you pretty far, but great photos make it seem like you're putting in a genuine effort and sets you apart from the unwashed masses.

 

Several years ago I was dating a guy we'll call "D". D and I had been dating for about 8 months and met each other's families. We spent the Fourth of July with my cousins, aunt, uncle and parents. We had a conversation that we weren't dating other people and seeing each other exclusively. I received a text message from a friend one day saying that she saw him on Match.com. She sent me the link, and yep...it was him. He was active (like within the last day according to match), and I even recognized pictures of the two of us. Except...I was cropped out. Who does something like that? When I asked him about it he said it was just for fun and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. Whaaaaaat? My bf is active on a dating website and I'm the weirdo for thinking it's pretty sketchy? That's when we broke up. I guess. I hate even admitting we dated since he pulled a stunt like that. So yeah. Online dating. I assume half of the guys are married or maybe kind of in relationships with poor unsuspecting suckers like I was.

 

Thats bad. Some guys are just souless. I promise if women are looking for a nice guy he won't be in a real relationship with anyone else. I think having a decent profile picture is a good idea, but frankly when I signed up, I only did it because I was able to get a rate of $7/mo because apparently the Jew in me wouldn't settle until I got the cheapest rate possible. Because of this minimal investment, I only used a few decent photos to show I look pretty dam decent, but I never worried about having professional photos or any of that insecure nonsense. If I'm looking for some shallow girl who only cares about my bank account or what car I drive, I can go to the bars to get that. When I'm on one of these website I'm just trying to meet normal women with normal concerns and priorities.

 

After reading this Instagram account where women are posting shit they get from guys on Tinder, I'm never sticking my toe in that fucking water as long as I live. God, what a cesspool of crap.

 

Unreal. Makes me wonder if those guys are legitimately looking for dates or just "nice guy" psychopaths with low self-esteem looking to e-rage on girls?

 

It's like a breeding ground for guys who can't seem to handle rejection. I know it stings sometimes if a woman turns you down, but firing back with some butthurt and hateful vitriol isn't going to change her mind.

http://instagram.com/p/uyEgWeJK6m/ I mean, REALLY?

 

"Go cut your face off with a broken bottle" is some twisted yet hilarious shit.

The issue with Tinder, that shows with alot of these lash outs, is that guys take a "match" to explicitly mean the girl wants to have sex with them, no questions asked. Guys without the stones to talk to a girl in a bar or whatnot, suddenly have some tentative validation of mutual attraction and overstep.

There are also plenty of guys who think that its purely a sexual app, not realizing that girls are on there for a variety of reasons, so that disconnect coupled with their immaturity, lack of social grace, and pseudo-anonymity, leads to these idiots acting out. Gives what is actually a great app, a bad name