Hi, I'm BigPerson, and my family is fucked up! I know this is a cop out, but I firmly feel I have a rather fucked up view on relationships because my mother was, is, and will probably die a rampant slut. (She lacks the ambition, or business sense of a whore.) From the time I could figure out that she wasn't just wrestling I remember walking in on her multiple times. The highlights of this include multiple Catholic priests, my then step fathers best friend, two times in one day (different partners), and a threesome in which none of the participants could be bothered to stop long enough to let the woman involved shoo the kindergartner out of the room. Most of this shit happened before I was 11 and pawned off on my father because she didn't want to deal with me anymore, but after I got out of my two year stay in foster care when I was FOUR because she didn't want to deal with me anymore. Of the six children my mother had, she kept three, and only raised one of them (my little sister) for the majority of their life. Needless to say, my siblings and I all have some resentment, and abandonment issues. Then there is the big thing, the shit that takes my mother from just selfish parent to full on BAD FUCKING PARENT. Honestly I feel my mom is one of the nicest, sweetest, truly bad person I know because of one incident. The best friend of my step father eventually became my mom boyfriend. (And father of a pair of twins she gave up for adoption.) Well this fucking jack ass molested my preteen sister. Well after my mother found out about the FIRST time, she warned him it had better never happen again. Well needless to say once a piece of shit pedophile... After finding out about some more of this ass clowns indiscretions with my little sister, my mom had "had enough." She told him that he had a day to avoid the cops she was going to call! She GAVE THE MOTHER FUCKER MULTIPLE WARNINGS!!! Then when he got caught much later on different charges, she kept in contact with him! Like I get there are selfish parents/people in the world, but god damn! Then to add insult to injury, she kept in romantic contact with him after he got deported to Mexico. She was even sending him money to help him out, and really wanted to go down and visit, maybe live with him. She would often talk about he was the best thing to ever happen to her IN FRONT OF MY SISTER! One day when I was around 17 I laid it out for her, and told her in no uncertain terms if I ever saw Isa again, I was going to fucking kill him. (The first time I ever cussed in front of my mother.) I informed her that she had an entire family of uncles, cousins, and other pissed off men that would line up, and take turns cutting inches of flesh off that disturbed little bastard. She held a torch for him for quite a while, but after that she at least had the good sense not to talk about it to me. Hi, I'm BigPerson, and my family is fucked up!
My mom is fine, but I don't really get along with her. We just rub each other the wrong way. She has a lot of disagreements with me over random shit, but she isn't well-spoken enough to actually talk about them, and ends up running away in a huff over it. My dad (who shares my view on things) has learned just to shut up, smile, and nod, (Yes dear) but I never learned that. So we end up arguing. She does a lot of vicarious living. She never had a career of her own, so she lives through me and my siblings' accomplishments. She knows I'm kind of fucked in the head, (never had a girlfriend in high school, never really had any close friends) and has said some things that hurt. She basically groomed me to go to college, (private elementary school, private middle school, constant tutoring from my dad, etc) and she decided that my decision not to go to college was a personal insult, like I slapped her in the face and spit on her or something. She didn't talk to me for months before I went to boot camp. I got a lot of random bipolar shit in the mail from her when I actually got there; one letter would be encouraging me, the next one would be tear-stained and basically the literary equivalent of screaming "Why did you do this to me." Cue boot camp graduation, and she's oh-so-proud of me. I've since found out that my mom is motarded and has a Marine Mom bumper sticker and wears the moto PI sweatshirt everywhere. I felt like telling her "Yeah, no thanks to you," but I've tried to refrain from telling her anything that hurtful. These days, I talk to my parents about once every two months. I go home about twice a year, drink their booze, and leave. I like it that way. I have a far better relationship with my dad, who is the person I go to whenever I have a question. My mom again takes this as a personal insult, and I don't really have the heart to tell her why I don't take her shitty advice on everything (because it's shitty, and when I ask once, you will never shut up about anything else). My mom isn't a crackwhore, but I don't get along with her at all.
I was going to dissect my relationship with my mom. How mean she was, our semi-abusive relationship, how she can push my buttons like no other, but then I read some of the other posts. It really put things in perspective. My mom wasn't the best mom, and I may harbor a lot of resentment towards her but I realize that she did the best that she could in the only way she knew how. Maybe it's not what I needed, but it means something.
It's not my mom, but I was reading an article about a fashion designer/model, and it talked about her mom a bit, and the mom comes across as freaking crazy. Going from raving about your new fake eyelashes to "oh yeah, miscarriage" in a single breath? Definitely shows signs of not understanding social norms. Also, second time this reporter has met the mom while covering a story about the daughter? Mom seems very clingy. Getting your 14 year old daughter to work in a lingerie store? Pretty messed up. She also has a son with autism, so there's some mental illness in the family, making it more likely she has something clinical going on, and isn't just regular weird. Also, she had her daughter with Gwen Stefani's husband, so there's likely all sorts of uber-drama going on. Any chance her daughter wasn't pimped out while selling g-strings at age 14? Spoiler