I take horrible pictures. I'm not being sensitive or vain about this. I've heard repeatedly from friends/family that I just don't take good ones and I look a lot better face to face. I completely agree. It's not a huge deal, but because of it I rarely take pictures (my last digital camera is from about 5 years ago), and I untag myself on Facebook. I just avoid being in pictures. Someday, if I ever have grandkids/whatnot, they will go through life thinking I wasn't very attractive because of my godawful pictures. Oh well.
When I was a freshman in high school, I started to get really bad acne, not on my face, but on my upper back and shoulders. It continued to get a LOT worse through my junior and senior years, and even though the acne is gone now thanks to a huge accutane regimen, I have a lot of bad scarring. The weirdest part of this is that I'm a swimmer, so I would have to expose this to everyone for my sport. During senior year of high school, I swam 20-25 hours every week, and felt horrible every single one of them. Despite the fact that I got a decent body from the training, I still had (and continue to have) next to no confidence. The idea of me going out with a girl or a random hookup scares the ever-loving shit out of me, because eventually she's going to see my back, and then what does she say? So I don't really even bother. Sorry that one of my first posts here was me bitching about myself, but it made me feel a bit better. It felt awful to even write that though.
Most of my friends are either brilliant or driven or both. They're all working on PhDs, or already have Master's or professional degrees and have begun comfortable, lucrative careers in fields of their choosing. Several of them got full rides to school. Many of them have mathematical or scientific abilities of which I can only dream, or a hustler's instinct to which I cannot relate. Compared to them, I sort of just putz around. I have no idea what I want, less of an idea of how to get it, and I employ a rather cynical view of the world. I've known these people since childhood, and their observations on the fuckery that is my life never amount to more than playful shittalk, but I can't help feeling like I'm hopelessly clinging to the ass-end of a Winner's Parade to which I was never actually invited. In bad movies, people like me stumble into great things after years of playing the stereotypical underachiever. People want to believe that there is nobility in being directionless. They love seeing some goofy son of a bitch realize his potential in dramatic fashion. It's edgy and different and comforting to an audience full of people harboring their own various and sundry insecurities. Most importantly, the problem is never that the individual isn't good enough, it's that a normal life isn't good enough for him. Yeah, that's the ticket. What becomes crystal clear upon even the slightest reflection is that we do not live in a movie, and that plenty of stereotypical underachievers evolve into stereotypical losers while everyone else goes on to become normal adults who do normal adult things. The narrative has collapsed and what remains is terrifying. The solution? Find dumber friends.
Hey look! Another gal with body issues! But yeah, I am "curvy" in a big boobs, big ass, smallish waist sort of way, so of course always have the aspirations of losing that last 10 - 15 pounds. I try to work out quite a bit, I run quite a bit, yet I still stay "soft".
I didn't think about this before, but... I've got a scar in the space between my upper lip and my nose, which is the reason why I have a mustache that nearly connects to my chinstrap beard (just need one more spot to fill in). I also have a scar that's mostly hidden by my eyebrow over my left eye. I've also got a 4 inch scar on my left knee, and a 1 inch scar on my left ankle. The facial scars I actively try to hide, but the visibility of the scars on my left leg doesn't really bother me, it's just on bad days I walk slowly with a pronounced limp that I really have to overcompensate for to have a normal gait while mainlining anti-inflammatory medication. I try to avoid going out on days like that.
I really wish my ass was bigger. I rarely wear pants because I can't fill them out properly and it makes me sad. The rest of me is all nice and curvy, but I don't have the butt to match.
I'm 24 years old and I still have acne. It's the one big thing about me that I absolutely can't stand. I can live with being skinny and have nappy, albeit short, hair...but the one thing that I can't get a hold of and stop is my breakouts which happen about once a week. You'd think someone would grow out of it after their teens, but no. I've tried everything short of going to the dermo which the Military won't pay for, so looks like I'm stuck with it. If anyone has any at home remedies please let me know.
Everyone notices all of your insecurities and laughs about you behind your back. Focus: I'm tall and lanky - 192cm and about 83 kilos. I'm in the normal range of the BMI but I'm pretty bloody scrawny. I also have a couple of fairly noticeable scars on my arms that are from me being drunk and stupid. Also, I hate people thinking that I am stupid. Even on here I will constantly think about what I have posted and wonder if I am coming off as a moron.
I used to be so insecure about my nose. It looks like it's been broken at least once, but I've never had any kind of facial injury. The bridge is very wide and oddly flat. It doesn't really bother me anymore, but when I was younger, it definitely used to get to me. It's also hard to be the one sibling (I have 5 siblings) with the wide bridge-thing. Obviously I lost that genetic gamble.
Definitely my height for me. While I must admit I have always been the short one my whole life so I can't even imagine how it would be to be normal sized. I feel like I would almost feel like a totally different person since Im already pretty old for the good ol growth spurt and I've just gotten used to it and actually like it at times. Im 5'3 120lbs and i'll be 19 in two weeks. So basically the body of a 13 year old. Im just praying that I grow cause once I get older it'll be weird. Short 30 year olds come off really awkward to me lol. That's actually me in my avatar.. the picture was taken yesterday
I cannot put on any weight without substantial strength-training. I won't DO substantial strength-training because I'm already a skinny fool and look ridiculous squatting 70lbs when the guy behind me is going to 175+, or struggling with 20lbs curls, or benching 70lbs... vicious circle. It's only my vain muscles that are terribly small - I have good soccer/receiver legs - my chest is almost flat and my arms are pretty much pathetic. A 5'11-6'0 dude who has skinny arms... as a result I never wear short-sleeve shirts. I used to be insecure about some of my facial features, but as I grew into my frame/face I came to understand that I'm actually pretty good looking.
Easy. I'm a fatty. I'm 6'1" and 240 pounds. If I wasn't such a titty man, I'd be going out with women who's boobs were smaller than mine. Thanks to my genetics and flabbiness, my eyes look completely closed when I smile or laugh. If you make me laugh, I'm going to look like a live action Buddha statue.
I'm most insecure about how young I look. My friend has been celebrating my 12th birthday every year since I turned 15. It didn't bother me as much until recently, when I've been in more social situations with significantly older people. I know I present myself well for someone my age, but it still sucks looking like a teenager.
I'm insecure about doing anything physical in front of a group of people. I can teach to a room full of a 100 kids, and I can give a speech on sexual reproductive health to whatever audience wants to hear it, but if you ask me to stand in front of the same people and, say, hit a golf ball or run an obstacle course, there is no way I'd do it. I despise playing team sports for this very reason. I have to second (or third) whoever said teeth. I've got a massively fucked-up jaw that will eventually require surgery (top AND bottom jaw need to be broken). I realize that while it doesn't look terribly bad, and my teeth are even and don't stick out or anything, to me all I see when I look at pictures is the overbite from hell.
Physically, it's my receding hairline. I'm 28 and know this widow's peak gone mad isn't going to get any better. I also have a huge insecurity that, despite having a lot of interests and being relatively intelligent, any woman I date more than a few months is going to discover there's no substance to me. But somehow I think that's pretty common.
I'm terribly insecure about my skin. It is all-around horrible. Not only do I have (usually well controlled) eczema from head to toe but I get little white bumps on my face (milia) and I get ingrown hairs and cysts anywhere there is hair (and I mean anywhere). Those usually leave big dents and scars which only serves to make me more insecure. Most of my insecurity about my skin comes from the fact that if I was to see someone who looked like me, I would be all freaked out and refuse to touch them so I just assume other people are the same way. But then again I am fucking weird when it comes to germs and stuff so there is that. I am also insecure about my face in general. I have nice eyes and full lips but the giant forehead, pointy nose and teeny chin make me look like some deranged hairless Ewok. My weight is another issue altogether but I had a baby 7 months ago and my diet is awful so I have no one to blame for that but myself.
I could stab you to death with my widow's peak. My roommate tried to get me to see the brighter side of things by pointing out that Jason Statham is bald (my hair looks similar to his...at age 21), but that did little to console me.
The only things I would say I'm full on insecure about are my hands. I have tiny little Tucker Max hands... actually, I would wager good money that they're smaller than Tucker's hands. It's not blatantly obvious when you look at me because I'm not a very big guy to begin with (5'6"), but it's still noticeable. It's funny, I kind of like being a small guy (ideally I'd like to be 5'8" or 5'9") but having girl-sized hands and wrists just decimates my confidence. Also, I'm pale. Like, crazy vampire pale. It actually doesn't bother me that much 95% of the time, but when I go to take my shirt off at the beach and I look like a neutron star exploding it kind of sucks. Basically, this is a very tanned version of me:
Holy crap, the interwebs have whole bunch of chubby dudes on them? Somebody call the papers. I think we got a story here. I could gladly lose twenty pounds. I'm by no means huge (185-ish maybe, at 5'9"), but I perpetually ought to lose some weight. It's been that way for years. In fact, when I was younger, my brother's nickname for me was Bobby Hill. I've always tried to deflect it by developing a sense of humor about it, in a Seth-Rogen-ish way. Otherwise, the self-loathing at my own sloth and gluttony gets a bit tiresome.
You can change your weight. You can get a nose job. You can even re-orient your goals and move out of the basement.... But if you're Chinese, and you happen to fit a certain 5 inches of fury stereotype, you're screwed. Anti-focus: A windshield doesn't blind me and I'm pushing 6'1 in height.