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Is It Friday? Drink Posting Meeting Place.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Feb 22, 2013.

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  1. PIMPTRESS

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    Nothing ever makes you smile like your spawn smiling at you. True story.
     
    #381 PIMPTRESS, Mar 1, 2013
  2. D26

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    Oh, yeah, she doesn't watch it on the TV. She watches it on my wife's iPad. She rarely even looks at the TV, unless music is playing. Then she dances. It's adorable and reminds me why we had a kid.
     
    #382 D26, Mar 1, 2013
  3. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Is It Friday? Drink Posting Meeting Place.

    The wife and I are going to have to take custody of a two year old next week because her mother got her third DUI and then punched a cop.

    Then the wife just texted me telling me that she is late on her period, by 10 days or some shit, FANTASTIC
     
    #383 Flat_Rate, Mar 1, 2013
  4. abneretta

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    Yep, nothing's cuter than when they dance or when they start talking.

    Or when they try to ride the dog like a horse.
    [​IMG]

    Basically having kids is awesome but it's hard. Thankfully the good days make up for the bad.
     
    #384 abneretta, Mar 1, 2013
  5. FreeCorps

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    I love how when people with kids say stuff like this, they have the same look hostages have.
     
    #385 FreeCorps, Mar 1, 2013
  6. CharlesJohnson

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    You have no idea how loud I am laughing.

    Go on, explain this to your kids. "Sometimes, when a man and woman love each other very much, they like to put each other's heads in the toilet and flush while pounding their sex organs... and that's how babies are made."
     
    #386 CharlesJohnson, Mar 1, 2013
  7. PIMPTRESS

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    "Love is really, really icky at times."
     
    #387 PIMPTRESS, Mar 1, 2013
  8. katokoch

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    That may be true, but it ain't happening tonight.
     
    #388 katokoch, Mar 1, 2013
  9. VanillaGorilla

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    I want to go to there. The bar was so dead last Friday that we were playing flip cup on it.
     
    #389 VanillaGorilla, Mar 1, 2013
  10. effinshenanigans

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    I'm curious about this. Did you spray the cords with the bleach so they tasted bad, or did you spray the kids with bleach when they chewed on the cords?
     
    #390 effinshenanigans, Mar 1, 2013
  11. PIMPTRESS

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    I sprayed the kids, generally aiming for their eyes.
     
    #391 PIMPTRESS, Mar 1, 2013
  12. effinshenanigans

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    Hey, whatever works.

    My mom preferred 409, or hurling empty Franzia boxes.
     
    #392 effinshenanigans, Mar 1, 2013
  13. PIMPTRESS

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    Parenting is about what works. Fuck any long term concerns, once they're 18 I am free.
     
    #393 PIMPTRESS, Mar 1, 2013
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    I just shook a can of dried beans at my cousin. Of course now he is afraid of vegetables and shits himself whenever he hears the slightest rustling noise.
     
    #394 CharlesJohnson, Mar 1, 2013
  15. effinshenanigans

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    Makes me almost wish I had become a psychiatrist.

    Almost.
     
    #395 effinshenanigans, Mar 1, 2013
  16. PIMPTRESS

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    Maybe that bleach has made my kids afraid of anything clean. It would explain the messiness.

    Why are they such nudists though? It takes all day to get them to put clothes on, which they shed twenty minutes later.
     
    #396 PIMPTRESS, Mar 1, 2013
  17. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Is It Friday? Drink Posting Meeting Place.

    The kid doesn't like her socks, mine on the other hand.

    [​IMG]
     
    #397 Flat_Rate, Mar 1, 2013
  18. D26

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    Me, to my kid, in my mind: Why won't you fucking NAP! FUUUUUUUUCK!!!

    Me, to my kid, aloud: please nap? Please? Oh, great, you're popping now.

    Me, to my wife via text: I'm going to play poker and get drunk tonight, the kid is yours when you get home.
     
    #398 D26, Mar 1, 2013
  19. Parker

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    I pray to god my children never find me...
     
    #399 Parker, Mar 1, 2013
  20. bewildered

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    I can't go to the hospital with el husband anymore because the sick babies make me cry. Like, inconsolably. I don't know what's wrong with me.

    On the other hand, while in line together at the commissary yesterday, some heathen wouldn't stop yowling. I leaned into him and whispered, "Birth control."
     
    #400 bewildered, Mar 1, 2013
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