Short people are entitled assholes. "Hey watch out! Can't you see me standing here?" No hobbit man, I'm scanning for low hanging light fixtures I don't want to run my head into. Ive said it before and ill say it again. It is never the elephants fault when the mouse gets stepped on. Also people on this board had nontraumatizing childhoods. I feel so lied to.
But doesn't it make you feel like a failure hearing about how the rest of the tall people are succeeding so easily, and you're, well... you?
It's offensive, tasteless and/or insensitive to New York-centric idiots who think that the only "twin towers" were the two that were part of the WTC complex. There are twin towers in numerous other towns referred to as such, it's been the nickname of basketball pairs and can also come from the fact that tall people "tower" over others. Being offended by it would be depressing. However, as a joke it is terrible.
For awhile I thought my husband (6'8") had what my mother has coined "front of the shelf paralysis." You know, where you send your husband to find something located behind a bunch of other stuff and he never can find it? Well, it turns out he's just really tall and finding some of these things would require crouching on the floor to get a visual.
It could be he's just lazy, bewildered, and doesn't want to get up and go drag out whatever it is you are searching for. Give it thirteen or fourteen years and you might stop asking him to look for things.
Or stop burying shit in the asshole of the cupboards, forgetting where you put it, then demand someone else find them. That's why men leave everything in a pile on the dining room table, including old laundry.
Men's laundry is cleaned by Enchanted Hamper Rays. You leave them in a condensed pile long enough and a magic, self-cleaning energy rushed through them, making them wearable provided you spray them with Axe before donning.
I don't bury that stuff too hard. I mean, the jumbo sized bottle of soy sauce was behind the carton of soy milk and he had some difficulty finding that until I told him exactly where it was. That's what I have to do. I have to tell him which shelf and how far back to dig. I mean what else can I do when I'm up to my elbows in cow blood? Seriously though, he just becomes lost in the kitchen. I think he may have a mild case of temporary blindness as soon as he steps foot in there, so that plus the fact that he's scraping the kitchen ceiling with his head equals being completely put of his element. Oh, and Crown? That magical fairy you speak of is called ''wife.''
At least he doesn't hide things from you in the kitchen. I'm convinced that my boyfriend thinks that everything should be put away on the highest shelf, in the highest cupboard, at the very back, where it might as well no longer exist for me. Once I found my sunglasses on top of the fridge (wtf) when I was climbing on the counter in search of the crock pot, which Boyfriend had hidden from me in the cupboard above the refrigerator. As if that's a real place to put things.
Maybe it's convenient for YOUR stuff, but I don't often SEE the top of the refrigerator, so it is not a convenient place to put MY stuff. Being short is hard.
I hardly ever wear skirts and dresses, especially not in the winter, but he can see me naked whenever he wants (within reason). I feel like that's pretty high on the boyfriend bill of rights.
I just want to say, as a male, there is little more satisfying a feeling than sticking my entire hand down my pants to itch the side of my balls. It is Nirvana. You ladies will never realize the feeling. I can only hope, I can only pray, that itching your lips derives a similar pleasure. In other news, this photo set has been making the rounds this past week. Russian guy snapped his girlfriend leading him by the hand around various international locales. Yes, cute. But the reason I bring it up is because I want to jump on her ass like I'm doing a keg stand. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.123inspiration.com/follow-me-to-photographer-follows-his-girlfriend-around-the-world/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.123inspiration.com/follow-me ... the-world/</a>
A question: if you were in a situation where you absolutely, positively, had to suck somebody's dick (let's say the world is ending), would you rather said dick be flaccid or erect? There's no similar question that becomes a conundrum for somebody who actually likes sucking dick that I can think of, so this is for all those straight guys.