Is Maryville the Next Steubenville?

Again, JimmyJames implied that via a drunk teen vs drunk teen comment, I am extrapolating on it. I also like that a rational discussion involves telling a girl not to do what everyone else in her pier group is doing because she will be raped. Everything is solved through fear and intimidation and a bit of alienation. Wonderful life lessons.

If that's the discussion, you can keep it.

 

wut

 

I think the words that I'm using are being read into a bit too much, so let's see if I can explain myself better.

It just seems to me that common sense would tell you to not get extremely intoxicated around people you don't know at a private residence, regardless of gender. Not once did I excuse anybody for sexually assaulting someone else. As I said before, there is a difference between putting yourself in a sketchy situation, and going out and buying groceries, or whatever it is you do in your day to day life. Ok? Two different things. Day to day life. Sketchy situation.

I also wanted to point out how patently ridiculous this statement is: "Parenting has nothing to do with a kid going out with her friends to a party with other friends to get sloshed, just like everyone else did."

Are you fucking serious? Doesn't it mean you're a good parent if your kid doesn't SNEAK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GET DRUNK, AND THEN HAVE SOMETHING FUCKING AWFUL HAPPEN TO THEM? In fact, I would even go so far as to give the parents a pass if they at least took the fucking time to try and educate their kids on what happens WHEN THOSE KIDS MAKE BAD DECISIONS!

 

So you've never been a house party? Or had something to drink that you didn't personally pour?

 

Here's a wonderful life lesson. Life your life like everybody else in your age bracket and ignore what smarter people than you (your parents or any other positive adult role model) have told you regarding what happens in the real world. Ignore the warning signs that life puts out in front of you and engage in behavior that has a possibility of ruining your life.

As for your second point, you know what keeps me from sticking a key in a light socket? The fear of the pain I'd feel if I did it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being afraid for your own well-being. It's called having a sense of self-preservation, and it's allowed us to evolve to be on top of the food chain.

More edits:

I've been to house parties, yes. As a general rule, I never take a drink from someone that I didn't see poured or didn't pour myself. Asking me to remember every drink I've ever had is an exercise in futility.

 

You're trolling, right?

Just to clarify, since I'm no longer typing on my phone and have a real keyboard...


My gym is partnered with another business, which I also manage. When I work out (before I started coming in at 5 a.m.) the customers for the partner business are free to come and go as they please, but I am not coaching classes except during set time. I have staff to assist and provide service to those customers, thus (then) affording me time to get under a bar. I didn't, at that time, work out with anyone.


To your second point - fuck you. Fuck you for insinuating that, because while I recognize that there are females who play that game (and we aren't discussing them right now) I am not one of them, and anyone who's been on this board for any length of time and had any conversation with me knows that. But, since maybe you seem like the kind of guy who needs clarification and explanation as to what appropriate flirting is, I can assure you that it isn't "Damn. I'd love to get up between those legs and all up in that ass, girl." And, when rebuffed, saying "Come on girl, just once. You'll like it..." is absolutely inexcusable. THEN to call the girl a bitch because she refuses your efforts again - that says more about you than it does her.

Just so you know.

 

So you did exactly what you believe to be dangerous behavior here.

 

This discussion will always be tainted by the stigma of the "she was asking for it" douchebag arguments of the past. I think the point people were trying to make was that these girls made some poor decisions to be in that situation in the first place. Know who doesn't get drunkenly raped on the lawn by some dickbags they met at a party? People that don't put themselves in super sketchy situations like that. This may be a callous sounding way of putting it. My older sister got raped when she was 16. She snuck out of the house and got drunk with four guys she met at a house party the week before, alone in one of their apartments. Was that her fault? No. Could she have avoided it by not putting herself in that situation? Yes.

That being said, these guys need to be castrated with a rusty soup can lid.

 

I can't tell if you're trolling me or not, so I'll bite.

I did exactly what I believe to be dangerous for a woman to do. In today's society, nobody is looking to rape a guy that's 240 pounds and posts about his significant craps on a messageboard. Yes, there are women out there that do sexually assault men. But in the context of my life, those kinds of women don't end up anywhere near me.

 

I just got repped with this:

I won't say which female board member sent it, but guys. This is how normal, rational, real women feel because of the type of attitude we are talking about.

Males are saying "Oh don't put yourself in a risky situation...problem solved." and that's all well and good...and to a point, I think we all agree on that. Trusting that a random stranger is also going to be a kind stranger is asking entirely too much of the universe.

What we are saying is, this happens outside of 'risky situations'. This happens on a day to day basis for females to be creeped out and worried that a male is going to attack them. Shopping, walking in/out of stores, getting gas, going running in a public park in daytime, you name it.

You guys should be worried about that, because you're essentially telling us "Treat all guys like they're about to rape you" or "Expect every male you encounter to be ready to verbally/sexually assault you because you're female and there are bad people in the world"

That includes you. That means that every female you have in your life should, by that logic, view you as an animal ready to burst from his restraints and attack her.

Is that really how you want things to be?

 

As a man, I have no idea what it's like to have a girl walk up to me and say she'd like to wrap her legs around my head. And to not only deal with that on a constant basis, but from every form of girl regardless of how physically attractive she is would probably make me consider manslaughter. After a while, I think that anybody could get their signals crossed when someone is being genuinely nice and when you feel like you need a shower later.

If it were me, I suppose I'd do what I do now. Not be a dick to people, but protect myself the best I can.

 

I'm not sure what your proposed solution is here. What would you suggest that we do in our daily lives to fix this? Because I think wearing a t-shirt that says "Not a rapist" would have opposite the intended effect.

For now, I'm going to continue to be a decent person to everyone I meet until given a reason not to.

 

I'm not wading into this shitstorm to say more than this - as a "normal, rational, real" woman, I do not feel this way. Please don't speak for me.

 

How about we refocus the conversation back on to how there has been a systematic failure of law enforcement and the justice system. Bad shit is going to happen, failure to punish that bad shit should happen 99% less than that.

 

In Georgia, a lot of the sex offenders don't have special restrictions on them. I have lost count at the amount of times I've said to the sex offender officers "Wait a minute. That kiddie raper doesn't have something in his sentence that says he's forbidden to be around children? What in the name of fuck?"

I don't know who to blame for things like this. It's not law enforcement, because they proved these pervs have raped someone. The justice system did punish them with prison time.

I don't know what the answer is for rational people. For irrational people like me that have to watch a victim spiral after a traumatic event like that, rusty knives and no anesthetic is the answer.

 

See I tend to let these types of comments roll off of my back too. They say something about the person saying it and absolutely nothing about me. Would I prefer never to receive inappropriate comments? Sure. I'm sure most people have their "whatever" to bear wth comments and stereotypes from others whether it be that they are black, middle eastern, old, fat, female.

 

All we need is Bunny in here and it would be clusterfucked to perfection.

Who, what, why, whatever the fuck these girls were fourteen-- again, fourteen-- years old, a.k.a children. They were taken advantage of at a naive age and left for dead like trash. It was a stone cold evil crime. Stone cold evidence. Then, every single person that was supposed to punish the evil doer(s) tucked tail. All at once. These are facts. You tell me that "connections" didn't play some role in that. And the accused, chinless class act has a "connection" that pretty much guarantees he can skate on just about any charge.

In the past I have not only heard stories but personally seen acts of where girls say "he forced himself on me" rather than having their good-girl rep damaged with a one night stand. Its not a common thing but that shit happens, it happens everywhere. That is not the case here. Columbo would have this case closed in five minutes flat and he slows down from pretending to be an idiot. A fourteen year old does not go on national TV and reveal her identity if something horrible did not happen. And the fact seemingly this entire town chose to destroy a family just to avoid tarnishing the rep of their precious teenage sports idols makes the plot sicken and sicken.