Audrey, this is that cat daddy. Study this and do it tomorrow: Haha, because I'm a jerk but also helpful:
I managed to break my spell the other night, who would have thought western wednesday was where all the hot chicks would show up. The combination of sundresses, cowboy boots, and jack&cokes got me to a good place. Now in a fit of rage, karma has made me sick as a dog, I just slept 16 hours straight and I have a paper due monday and a midterm tuesday. This weekend is gonna suck.
Things keep getting better! I just made a verbal agreement to purchase a half-acre lot in an awesome neighborhood where I will be able to build the home where I will raise my family and grow old with my wife. And the price is so unbelievably good that I can hardly sit still. ...Sweet!
The wife is going to Nashville (again) for the weekend, except this time, it's at the last second for some concert and shopping. Guess that's what I get for having a job where I work weekends. At least I don't have to work 18 hours again Saturday, and can hopefully get out and enjoy some boozing. The first Travis Tritt song got me in the mood to post this one. Enjoy.
Why yes Joan, I do want to touch you there... And everywhere else... With my tongue... In other news, what has two thumbs and is going to see Social Distortion and the Toadies tomorrow? THIS GUY!
My group of friends is going out for Cuattro de Mayo tonight. Why go tomorrow to fight crowds and order the same food and margaritas we can get any other night of the year without the crowds? (I love being old) I have a gift certificate for the restaurant and they do not honor it tomorrow night anyway.
Cinco De Mayo party this Saturday. I'm gonna serve chips, salsa, Taco bell Tacos (because I'm waking up and doing the Dirty Girl run and don't have time to make tacos before the party at 3.), margaritas, and Coronas. This is supposed to be a bachlorette pre-party (my friend isn't getting married until next year, but I needed an excuse to throw a Slumber Party.)I am overly excited for this!
I'm pretty sure that of the 80 people attending tomorrow, 75 of them are bringing dip. What the fuck am I going to do with that much leftover dip?
Bath in it while erotically rubbing it all over yourself then eating chips you've "dipped" OR just put a bunch in your panties and tell your boyfriend you have a really bad yeast infection. If you can queef on demand making it sneeze dip onto the floor would be a bonus. These are only suggestions though.
As much as I love the idea of rubbing Pico de Gallo all over myself, I don't think it's a socially acceptable thing to do.