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It's Pronounced "JIF", Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, May 31, 2013.

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  1. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    If he's not careful his dick will get cancer.
     
  2. kindalas

    kindalas
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    Wrong hole.

    But still epic.
     
  3. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    Is that dick.... bent?
     
  4. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    Aren't some dicks bent? The blood rushes so fast it ends up like a pipe trying to burst? I've only learned this from porn so I have no idea. Maybe it's just stuck.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Bill Clinton's is. We unfortunetly found that out. Before JFK you couldn't get a Catholic behind the President's desk, and before Clinton you couldn't get a chubby Jew under it.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    I'm surprised nobody has posted a gif of a girl with peanut butter on her boobs yet.

    One of my fraternity pledge tasks was a scavenger hunt that included getting a female nipple print in a new jar of peanut butter.
     
  7. Gravy

    Gravy
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    My cursory googling didn't turn up anything, but it did find this which is amusing.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I think that gif captured the moment that kid turned from a boy into a man:
    "ohmygod ohmygod candy candy candy!"
    Looks up.
    "ohmygod ohmygod boobies boobies boobies!"
     
  9. Aetius

    Aetius
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    I've seen a lot of craigslist flakes in my time, but I've never actually agreed to a sale, only to show up a few hours later and find they don't actually have the item they were trying to sell. What the fuck grandma.
     
  10. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Sounds like they anticipated their buyers to flake out and agreed to sell to multiple people in order to get the sale. I would say that is a bad thing to do, except people are so fucking flaky (tried to buy a used car out here, contacted literally about 30 people, was only able to get one person to meet us. We bought that car.) that personally I wouldn't even feel bad about doing that.
     
  11. Gravy

    Gravy
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    You should still contact all the folks that are coming by to let them know it was sold.
     
  12. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    No disagreement there.
     
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Or....OR you could NOT tell everybody because that would require effort, then just tell the people who didn't buy it first to go fuck themselves.

    THAT is the Craiglist way. That, and Amateur hookers.
     
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Although I thought it impossible, I think the Huffington Post website has stolen the title belt from YouTube for Worst Commenters On The Internet.

    If you haven't checked it out, I urge you to. You'll roll your eyes into the middle of next week.
     
  15. ODEN

    ODEN
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    What the fuck Canada? Explain yourselves.

    The best comment, being a Floridian myself: "You thought this was a Florida story, didn't you?" Because it seems like the most senseless and retarded stuff always happens here.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Well that's disgusting. I've never seen a school punish heroics and not incompetent staff, but there ya go.

    I hope every school staff member involved has their career disgraced for that. There is simply no excuse. Your staff failed where this kid didn't and punish the kid? Fuck you.

    This is the single most uncool thing I have heard about Calgary. Usually that is far and few with that city.

    Edit: the kid's mom looks hot.
     
  17. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    +1, sexy smoker's voice

    Video Interview
     
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    She also makes a good point, we ARE teaching kids to be soft and not stick up for what's right. If the school was on fire, would they suspend students for saving lives too?
     
  19. Frank

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    Totally jinxed myself by saying this. I fucked myself up last night throwing a spin kick, I'm HOPING it's just a pulled glute and not a back issue, the pain is in the ass cheek and it feels similar to when I pulled my groin, but mother fucker this hurts, I actually needed help getting out of bed this morning.
     
  20. Aetius

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    When I got there she said she had sold it last week. So when I initially emailed her to ask if it was still available, she responded yes, even though she sold it days before. I reiterate my what the fuck grandma.
     
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