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It's Pronounced "JIF", Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, May 31, 2013.

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  1. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    My friend's husband of 8 years got caught cheating. Obviously she was very upset, but she said to compound the pain and embarrassment, she had to go to her doctor that she's known for years and explain that he cheated and also didn't use anything and now she needed to be tested for diseases. She is now a lesbian.

    On an unrelated note, I don't get thongs. Some are so small, and if made of lace, why wear anything? Who would choose to walk around with a string up their butt all stinking day? Wouldn't it be better to just wear nothing? I mean, I get it if you're getting ready for sexy times, but just because? Although I guess panty lines can be a problem sometimes. Um, I feel like I need to add that I am folding laundry. Underwear specifically.
     
  2. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    We have eat-off-the-floor-clean, always on time hybrid buses in our city and I STILL think it sucks to ride them. My city has about as much litter as Singapore but you can't keep Bus People from riding the bus. They have their own varieties, just like Gym People and Bar People. Three of my favourites:

    Over-the-shoulder Reader
    Drunk harassing the bus driver
    The Big Crazy Mouth-Breather Staring Directly At You
     
  3. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: It's Pronounced "JIF", Weekend Drunk Thread

    She's now suddenly a lesbian? If your not banging your husband for 8 years he will go find someone who will, not rocket science.
     
  4. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Re: Re: It's Pronounced

    Truly, it came out (ha!) of left field. I did say she had to go get tested, which wouldn't have been the case if they weren't having sex.* I roomed with her in college and she never showed any inclination of even remotely leaning that way. I never really cared for him but after 8 years I figured he changed since they had been together so long. He was very manipulative when they were dating but she didn't want to hear it. She was my friend and I didn't want to lose her friendship, so I learned to bite my tongue about him. Then out of the blue we heard about the cheating, we found out things during the marriage she never told us (alcoholic, abusive), she got her divorce, went to visit her one time, saw a picture of her and this girl (I ALMOST jokingly said "she looks like a lesbian" but something held me back--so glad) and later on during our visit she revealed they were dating. They are now living together and it's probably been around 6-7 years now? She really really loved this guy and was truly devastated and we now joke that he turned her off men completely.

    *She tells the story of when she found out about him cheating how at first he said he used protection and how it had "just happened". I guess they didn't use it since she was on birth control, so she asked how he had something. He said he went out and bought something. She responded with, "okay, so you walked out of the hotel room (he was a sales guy), got in the elevator, took it down to the ground floor, walked out the door, felt the cold air slap you in the face, walked to the store, bought the condoms, walked back, and yet, somehow, it "just happened". That was basically how she found out he used nothing and she took the trip to the doctor.
     
  5. Kampf Trinker

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    I left my phone in the other room, just went over to grab it and saw this message.

    I can't stop laughing. I haven't heard back yet so I guess I'll hear the details tomorrow.
     
  6. AlmostGaunt

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    Re: Re: It's Pronounced

    Really? This just passes without comment? Dafuq did I just read? Call me judgmental, but if I was forced to watch someone do that at a party there would never, ever be another conversation where that didn't get brought up, in the context of 'is it still too late to get you a 78th trimester abortion?' Actually, it's possible there would just never be another conversation.

    Also, I find one pieces really hot. Bikinis are great, but sometimes leaving something to my fevered imagination is a good thing.
     
  7. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Alright, come on. Pamela Anderson is the opposite of my type, but ugly? I actually think she looks better now than she did back in the day. See Exhibit Recent Shoot for Vogue Brazil:

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  8. iczorro

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    Yay photoshop.

    I saw her in person back in '04. She was doing some kind of personal appearance at the 32nd street Naval Station, and she did an autograph signing. That broad looked haggard as fuck up close. Pancake makeup couldn't hide the ravages of Hep C.
     
  9. Crown Royal

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    Re: Re: It's Pronounced

    Chances are you won't see it at a normal party. It's something frat brothers forced pledges to do. they do things that are l lot worse than that, particularly the "elephant "walk" Sorry but in my eye not even 0.0001% as bad a drinking tobacco chew spit. That's revolting in a way I can't process.
     
  10. Noland

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    D-Day anniversary today.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    My grandfathers both stormed Juno Beach that day. To quote one of them:

    I just wished they taught us more about the Eastern Front
    in school. Then kids would realize where 80% of the war was fought, and actually won.
     
  12. caseykasem

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    Re: Re: It's Pronounced

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who caught that. Crown just slipped this little tidbit into the conversation oh so effortlessly. This is just one of the many reason why I never had any desire to be in a fraternity and can't help but wonder what kind of disgusting shit goes on inside those houses.
     
  13. hooker

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    Rookie (hazing) parties are bad for ridiculous shit like that too.

    The marshmallow game? Where you have to stuff one between your ass cheeks and run across a field without dropping it. And if you do drop it, guess what you get to to with the marshmallow?
     
  14. Kubla Kahn

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    Where are the Commies today? Nowhere. We don't teach history about the victorious LOSERS.
     
  15. Crown Royal

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    When I heard about what they do to pledges just here in town, I was half-tempted to firebomb every frat in this city. And Western is considered a "nice" university.
     
  16. Noland

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    I think the "elephant walk" is a myth. I've known a lot of fraternity kids and they have been made to do all manner of humiliating and revolting things, but not that.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never heard anyone say they've done it, only people that heard of that one guy's cousin that had to do it.
     
  17. Crown Royal

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    The Garbage Can Bukkake is not a myth. And it is horrible. Also, I have a friend who had the handle end of a racket shoved up his ass because they knew he would be trying out for the tennis team.
     
  18. Nom Chompsky

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    Fix the cable with it?
     
  19. lhprop1

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    As if the giant collection of douche bags trying to buy friends wasn't enough reason not to join a frat.
     
  20. StayFrosty

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    Yeah, never in any iteration of any plan I've ever considered regarding college did joining a fraternity ever cross my mind. Fuck that. It landed my buddy a good internship, but no.

    There was a guy at work the other day, someone made a joke and he aks if anyone has ever heard of "Baking Pastries", and explains it's where a bunch of guys circle jerk and the last one to come has to eat it all. People are fucking weird as all hell.

    Maybe we could do an honest fraternity slogan thread.

    Alpha Zeta Omicron: Where the girls aren't the only ones getting their cherries popped.
     
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